Still Overflowing with Thanksgiving...

"Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving" Col. 2:6

If I could figure out how to put videos from our camera onto this blog, you could see my precious children signing this verse, as they do every morning. Someone is going to help me figure that out, right? It's too cute.
We're still working on overflowing...the kids have named different things each day that they are thankful for, and it's been fun. But this is truly what I would consider a spiritual discipline to be worked on, as sad as that sounds. It's shameful for us, who have so very much for which to be thankful, to not be. But unfortunately, thankfulness doesn't come naturally. It's harder for some than others. And it's something we need to be cultivating in this house.
I came across an old "thankful journal" of mine that I did faithfully for years! I started this one in particular the day I got engaged to Rusty. I was REALLY thankful for him! (Still am, no doubt about that!!!) And I continued to write at least five things every night that I was thankful for. This was so fun to look back on! And I can see how it really cultivated thankfulness in me during hard times of my teaching career, where I was forced to be thankful daily. We ought to be thankful daily in our prayer time with the Lord. But I tend to go right to intercession. So I am thankful for this season in which God is teaching us about thankfulness!

Here are the kids' responses over the last few weeks:

Emma: school, drawing and making art, Treston, trees to climb on, for going to Nana and Pop-Pop's house, horses, every Tuesday is horse lesson day, my books like Tom Sawyer and Little Women (condensed classics, y'all...she's a reader but not THAT good of a reader!), and my new toothpaste.

Jax: my puppet show...I'm having a puppet show and my puppets are made out of wood, making art things fast, my store called "The Milky Way", my work at my store (located in his room, BTW), and Cody and Owen's Fall Festival, my leg armor I made, Chuck E. Cheese and Old McDonalds and Gattitown, finishing my reader, my shelf in my store.

Justus: my lollipop, my brother whose name is Jax, Emma, God, T-Bear hugging me, Erin's baby, Matt, our whole entire city, elephants and dinosaurs and birds and even God.

Treston: Bible, Da-Da, Dis-Dis (the dog, Disney), God, Pop-Pop, trucks, Mama (I finally made it!), Dis-Dis.

I pray you guys will be overflowing with thankgsgiving today too! I am specifically thankful for my friends, the Feldmans, finalizing their adoption of Isaac today! I'm headed out to share their joy in court this morning! Praise God for adoption. We are thankful for adoption, as always, and most of all that we have been adopted by the King of Kings!

Truth and Grace Memory Books

We've started a new scripture memory book this past summer that I absolutely love and wanted to share! My friend Ashley showed it to me, and I purchased it online at www.founders.org for around $5 I think.
Truth and Grace starts with 2 and 3 year olds and goes all the way through high schoolers. It is a basic scripture memory program, but also includes memorizing some hymns rich in theology (like Jesus loves me, and Holy, holy, holy, my kids' favorite). It also includes a catechism for children to learn. If you're like me, and the average Baptist, you've never, ever done a catechism. I wasn't sure what that was about. But it's a basic question and answer format for learning theology. I have been amazed at how easy and fun it is to do with my kids, and they're learning doctrine that is so vital to their foundational understanding of God! (and mine.) Every answer to a question has a list of scripture references from where it came, and you could spend time on every question, looking at it in scripture if you wanted to. I can see my kids gaining a clearer understanding of who God is through this method. It may sound boring, but we rather enjoy it.
This book is not meant to replace your Bible study time or family worship time. But like AWANAS, or whatever scripture memory program you have used, it lends the organization and structure to our mornings that I love. For us, we do scripture memory and prayer over breakfast each morning these days (our routine changes during the summer versus school year) and sometimes spend a little time teaching through some of their verses. We never start our day without prayer. We need it! Rusty does the teaching, expositorily, or straight through books of the Bible, in the evening family worship time.
Hiding God's Word in their hearts is priceless! But for us to rush through their verses and not let them seep into their hearts would be tragic. They could memorize the whole Bible and several catechisms during their time in this house, but if they are not captivated by the cross and living in love with their Savior from the heart, it will mean nothing. I want to be mindful of that...no book or program can replace us shepherding their hearts in the everyday moments of life toward the Father. I desperately want our kids to LOVE God's Word, because they love Him. We don't follow the "rules" of family worship, Bible study, and scripture memory for the sake of legalistic, holy, going-through-the-motions. NO! Our hearts are for our kids to LOVE Him, and to follow Him, and desire the Word like David talks about in Psalm 119. We want them to grow up, waking up, and getting into His Word, eager for a word from Him, like it's the most natural thing in the world. We are indeed training our children, but we know this must all come from the heart, and only He can draw their hearts.
This book has been a great tool for us so far, and I thought some of you might want to know about it. I always like to hear what other Moms are doing as well!

Rules with Reasons

My kids and I were talking to another parent the other day, and as we were talking, I corrected Emma in saying "yes sir" to him.
He told me about his own three-year-old, and how they were trying to teach him to say "yes maam" and "yes sir." He said his little boy asked why he had to say this?
And he explained to him that it would help in how other people perceived him...that essentially he would make a good impression in life.
I thought to myself 'that's a pretty lame reason.'
So I was thinking about the rules we have made in our home. Do our kids understand all the reasons behind them? I'm sure we've explained them once before, but do all four of them remember that moment, and know for certain that there are reasons behind the rules? And do we have legit reasons for them? Or are they just there so we feel less annoyed in life?
The verse we are learning right now is "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105
To illustrate this verse's meaning, we walked around with our eyes closed and bumped around aimlessly. Then we walked in the light, with our eyes open, and talked about how we wouldn't know how to live without God's wonderful Word! God's Word gives us guidance; guidance we so desperately need as parents to know how to lead our children.
So we have been evaluating our rules with the kids, showing them the reasons behind them in scripture.
Some are pretty obvious. Treston can't play with the oven because he could die.
He can't play in the street because he could die. Some of these are common sense in keeping our kids from danger.
But let's take the "yes sir" rule. I know not everyone has this. In fact, I would never assume that we would all have the same rules. Our houses are different, our kids are different, and how we interpret the same principles and flesh it out in our homes is different. That's okay! But the "yes sir" rule for us stems from respect. It's just a tangible way to respect your parents and elders, as they also learn to honor and obey us. We're also working on teaching and reinforcing real first-time obedience. By repeating myself, I'm teaching them not to obey the first time.
And then there's the building each other up rule.

Eph 4:29
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Proverbs 27:2
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

Phil. 2:3
Walk in humility and consider others better than yourself.

We have to be on guard in our house always that are words are building up, and not tearing down. Also that we are not bragging or even sneakily putting ourselves up, but rather considering others better than ourselves.
Sadly, this is not only difficult for the children. But we are accountable to one another for this, and I will often hear the kids even ask each other "were you building him up just then?" (They love to catch each other in it, of course.)

And then there's complaining and whining.
Phil 2:14-15
14 In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing,

The Bacak paraphrase includes in this verse whining. We think whining is most certainly a form of complaining...the most annoying form.

And then there are so many things we do just to be courteous to others. Part of this is considering others before yourself (Phil. 2), and doing or not doing things so that we are a blessing to others. We just went over Phil. 4:5, "Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do." Being considerate by not yelling, trampling on people at church while they have a wrestle-fest in the hallway, using good manners, holding open doors, etc. can testify to their love for the Lord.

These are just a few examples we are going over with our kids about rules with reasons.
The main thing I want my children to know from us is this: Our goal in parenting them is NOT to produce good children, that make a good impression in life and are successful people. I hope those things turn out to be true, but our goal is GODLINESS. That is all we can hope and pray for! Our hearts ache to grow children who know and love and serve the Lord all the days of their lives.

Deuteronomy 6: Love the Lord...

I decided to take the kids through the book of Deuteronomy this summer. I know, sounds daunting to me too, but one thing I know for sure is all that God said to the Israelites, he says to us, (because we're as ridiculous as they were sometimes) and I also see so much value in them getting the big picture of the Old Covenant and the New Covenant.
This week we came to Deuteronomy 6. This is a great passage of instructions given to parents.
Listen...
Deut 6:4-9
4 "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. 8 Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.


How much more specific and complete could this be? Talk about God's instructions when you're lying down, and when you're up, when you're at home, and when you're not...
Tie a reminder on your hand, wear them on your forehead, and write them on your doorposts.
Have we done that?
These were not instructions given to the Temple leaders in how to teach the children.
These were given to parents to teach their children about God.
Have we abdicated our God-given role to be our child's primary Bible teachers and shepherds to the church?
Our church reminds us all the time, they should only be re-inforcing what our kids are already learning at home.
Rusty and I are continuing to learn about how to do this better.
It's been an ever-involving process.
I do Bible verses or a lesson and prayer time with the kids in the morning each day before we start our school day.
Rusty does Bible teaching with the kids in the evening. We both know that Rusty is the lead teacher and is ultimately responsible for what our kids are learning in this house. I come alongside him and help him.
But this summer God has showed us the value of family worship.
We now have "mini-church" I guess you could call it, in the evening with all of us, even the little ones. We sing worship songs, and then Rusty gives a lesson. Sometimes we have drama, because our kids have always enjoyed acting out our lessons. (Last night John the Baptist (Jax) baptized Jesus (Rusty) while the dove/Holy Spirit came upon them (Emma, of course, it's an animal) and the voice of God spoke (Justus; it's pretty different to hear the voice of God in broken three-year-old language, but you get the picture.)
We're not saying our ways of doing this are the only and right way.
But we do know this...teaching our kids to Love the Lord with everything in them is THE thing we teach them. Everything else they learn from us has to take a backseat to this. If I started our school days without laying the foundation with time with Him and growing their knowledge and intimacy with Him, I would be showing them otherwise.
We did tangible things this past week, as you can see in the pictures, to remind us we need to write it on our doorposts, wear it on our foreheads, and talk about Him ALL THE TIME.
What are some ways that you guys are doing this? I love to hear how different families are teaching their kids...share!

Communication

Something that has been made clear to my recently is how mucho importante communication is in a home.
I feel like teaching my kids to really communicate with one another is on the top of my list right now. So much of conflict resolution depends on communication. We teach about communication in Countdown with our engaged couples, and have had countless marathon conversations at our table about how a couple communicates (or doesn't communicate.) They develop these patterns within their home.
I encounter the same problems in dealing with college girls and their roommate issues. Every single time a girl comes to me with a roommate problem, it boils down to COMMUNICATION (or lack thereof.) It's caused me to look back and realize what a lousy communicator I was with my college roommates. It's always easier to gossip about a roommate than pray for them and confront them in love, right?
It may be possible that many of us are grown, mature people, walking around, with disabled communication abilities. We could draw disability for it, I think, because people draw disability for some pretty bogus stuff (they come into my husband's office asking him to sign the papers, so they can get disability for like, color blindness.)
Anyway, as I teach my children to love each other, build each other up, encourage each other, navigate their way through daily conflicts, and most importantly share their faith, they need to know how to articulate these things.
How many of us would say: We know about God, we walk with God, we have a grasp on how we're saved, but we don't know how to articulate that well when the time comes.
COMMUNICATION!
I feel like I am equipping (or not equipping) my children for life, healthy relationships, strong marriages, and most importantly, being communicators of the Gospel when teaching them about communication on a daily basis.
I have two kids who are speech delayed. If you've read this blog for long, you know this about Justus. Sign Language was his first language, and about a year ago, he could barely put two words together. Now, he can be a faucet of words that won't stop flowing. Most we can understand, many we struggle to. But Praise the Lord, he can talk!
However, because his speech was so late in coming, and he still struggles to be understood, his first responses ingrained in him so far are still non-verbal.
For instance, if you've been to our house and Justus wants some attention from you, he probably has come up to you and done something physical to get your attention.
Some people are taken by surprise by this with my boys, but non-verbal kids do things a little differently. They are loud, scream a lot (oh, how we're working on this with Treston!) and in Justus' case- he pouts! When he couldn't communicate what he wanted, he would get easily frustrated or angry and act out, pout, whine, or give the silent treatment.
His ability to communicate has definitely improved, but words have always been more of an effort for Justus. I'm not as good at mind reading as he'd like me to be. So he is still more inclined to pout. He is disciplined for this, and has always been, but it's a struggle to break this pattern. Rather than communicating what he wants, he will pout.
Sometimes, as grown-ups, we're not much different.
We want everyone to read our minds. It takes more of an effort to communicate what we want, what hurts our feelings, and what we actually meant.
I'm still trying to teach my older kids, when a game they're playing, (like chase the girl and tease her relentlessly) is bothering her or hurting her feelings to COMMUNICATE that instead of coming straight to me.
I won't be there forever! I would be disabling them if I refereed every dispute and cleared up every miscommunication between them. I want them to say, without whining or yelling or tattling, "This game is hurting my feelings, Jax." or "I don't like it when you come into the bathroom without knocking" or "When my friends come over, can you stop running through the house naked?" (ha!) Instead of the normal "MOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
Is anyone feeling me?
It's honesty, put gently, not harshly. The Bible says to speak the truth in love. That's our goal.

We also have a strict rule about words in our house. It's Ephesians 4:29.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Boasting is our natural sin tendency. It starts VERY early! Building ourselves up, and tearing others down.
I wish I could say I had mastered this, but Lord help me! I confess this almost daily! So the kids and I have this standard for all of us in this house!
I am training them to build each other up! To have kind words ready on their tongue for their brother or sister. It's going to take a long time. (For me too.) But this is the standard of holiness we will adhere to! Of course we fall short so often, but God is renewing our minds and hearts.
So we're learning around here...learning how to really communicate, in a loving, honest, and encouraging way.
It's a tall order. But thankfully, I don't have to do this in my own power.
And I want to send out grown children who are equipped to communicate effectively, honestly, and promptly in their lives.
Any tips, older, wiser Moms?

To Train a Child

Prov 22:6
6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
This post is not about how to rear children, because I am right in the midst of that learning process. Maybe, hopefully, when I'm older I will have some fruit of these years, and can share some successes. But for now, I'm just holding onto the Lord daily, praying fervently, begging for wisdom everywhere I turn, wanting what's best for my kiddos, just like all of you (with children.) But I want to share with you what God is teaching us. One thing I have been mindful of a lot lately is what we are training our children in. They are all students, sitting in our classroom, soaking up what we are teaching, whether we mean to be or not. Incredibly frightening, isn't it? If parenting doesn't scare the crud out of you, what does?
The Bible says to train a child in the way he should go, and then he won't depart from it.
What is the way he should go?
Deut 6:4-9
4 "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. 8 Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Matt 22:37-40

37 Jesus replied, " 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40 All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."
So far, if you are a Christian parent like me, you know these verses. This is all very 'Duh.'
But how is this lived out?
Recently, our worship leader, Aaron, wrote in our church newsletter about worship. He wrote about how worship is not just what we do at church. It's not something we try to fit into our lives.
We ARE worshipping all the time.
But what are we worshipping?
And what are we teaching our children to worship?
How do we define worship?
One of dictionary.com's definitions is "to regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion."
So what do we show our kids is important to us?
We have all trained our kids in something. Some of them can show adoring esteem to your alma mater on command at the age of 2.
Some of them know more about nutrition than I do, and are trained well in what to eat.
Some of them have been trained in politeness and manners so they don't embarrass us or act like punks. (Who wants punk kids? Not me!)
Some of them are trained that education is everything. They are trained and on the path to the right college.
Some of them are in training to become professional athletes. They know sports is what gets the ardent devotion. It trumps everything else.
Some are trained to please themselves. Do what makes you happy. We've never taught them to step outside of themselves to care for the needy. In fact, they don't know that the needy exist. (I remember when our kids thought all of Mexico was the resorts we had visited. They didn't understand why Daddy needed to go there and do mission work? Those people were living the good life! Ouch.)
Over the past few years, Rusty and I have been asking ourselves, what are we training our kids in?
What do we give ardent devotion to in the everyday. Does God just get our weekend? Or is He woven into everything we do?
Have we built our lives and are trying to fit God into in somewhere, or are we building our lives ON HIM, and only doing what He is asking of us?
Our kids are sponges. They learn quickly, and they are not hard to train.
But Rusty and I have had to take steps back and realize that sometimes we have trained them in the wrong things, or with the wrong attitudes.
For example, in our earlier years of parenting, we were teaching obedience and good behavior, but not for the glory of God and obedience to His Word. Just to have good kids. We had to backtrack.
Also, we have been re-evaluating our time in front of the TV. Aaron wrote a great post on that recently that I will be writing more about soon. But as Heather wrote, I also let my first child watch WAY too much TV. We had it on all the time. I shudder just thinking about how foolish that was. When we moved here in 2003 it seemed a good time to turn over a new leaf, and my children quickly became accustomed to no TV during the day. It's never on during the day. That's just a general rule around here. We never let them watch live TV. I can't predict what's going to happen not only during a show, but during the commercial break. We turned off the TV, and started having family meals at the table in silence. That was five years ago. (We've since allowed some bad night time TV habits creep in, but I'll write about that later in the week.) I was teaching my kids to be slothful and that mindless activity is all good. It's not.
In our earlier parenting years, I cared more about what clothes they wore. They had more GAP and Gymboree clothing. As God grew us, we realized these things are NOT important. Not even close. We weren't going to teach our kids and spend our money foolishly just to impress our friends at church or keep up with the Jones', whoever they are. I avoid Gymboree like the plague, no matter what deals they offer, and when the kids need clothes, they are the cheapies.
I could go on. God has stopped us in our tracks, over and over, and re-taught us how to submit everything to Him.
If we want our kids to know that Bible Study and prayer are important, we have to not only let them wake-up every morning to us in the Word, but we have to teach and equip them to do it themselves on a daily basis. It's not going to happen magically when they get older. I want them to see prayer and Bible Study as the most normal part of their day. Like breakfast.
But it's too easy to train them in the world's ways. I don't want that. That means we have to talk with them more. If I want them to connect to the Body of Christ, then I have to treat their role in the church as importantly as I do mine and Rusty's.
While I'm driving to church on Saturday nights, trying to shake off the craziness of getting four kids dressed, fed, and off on time, I pray and ask God to prepare my heart for worship and see opportunities to meet visitors or someone who needs a word or a smile from me.
I became convicted that I needed to do the same for my kids. So I also am asking them to pray on the way to church, asking God the same things. One of the first times we did that, we pulled up to church and Emma befriended a little girl visiting and asked her if she wanted to sit with us. The guys who brought her were so relieved and told us it was an answer to prayer for Emma to take care of her. It was her first time, and they weren't planning on bringing her. Her Mom just sent her with them. And it was her birthday!!!!! Can you imagine? So Emma got to see the immediate fruit of that prayer. What a blessing!
I also was recently convicted that I haven't been sending their Bibles with them to church. They use them daily at home, but I was afraid they would lose them at children's church in the mass of children, games, and moving rooms. But it's important to have your Bible ready to read in worship for us, and it is for them also. So I sent their Bibles with them last night. They didn't lose them, and they got to practice using them during their story time.
I would love it if any of you would share how God is challenging you in this area as well. I want Him to open my eyes to every part of our lives where we are worshiping someone or something else, and in turn, training my children to do the same.
What gets our attention?
What do we get excited about?
When do our children see us beaming with pride at them?
What is a priority in time spent as a family?
We can say God is first, but are we trying to squeeze God in, or letting everything in our lives overflow from a love relationship with Him?
What is getting our ardent or adoring esteem or devotion?

Chick-Flicks...are we affected?

Emma, Jax, Matt & Erin and I went to see Enchanted yesterday.
It was pretty good. We liked it.
But I have to tell you...the affect it had on my daughter was startling...almost disturbing.
If you don't know Emma, I'll give you a brief summary. Tomboy. She adores climbing trees. She loves animals maybe more than people. She rides horses. She runs around on all fours like a horse most of the time (at a freakishly amazing speed, I might add. It's pretty remarkable.) She plays well with boys and girls, but she plays with brothers all day, and is like a kindred spirit to Hayden Hendrick. Oh, and she hates dresses.
So my Emma is watching this movie, with every Disney princess rolled into one personified in this character. (Played very well too!) It starts out as animated, but becomes real life. It's almost completely about finding true love, "true love's kiss" which is said about 100 times, dating, and marriage.
I noticed during the movie, Emma was swooning, for lack of a better word.
She was intent on the "true love kisses" and this started the barrage of questions.
During the movie, and after, she is asking us,
Can I go on a date before I get married?
How many dates? 1? 5? 364?
Daddy, do you like kissing?
Will God give me a husband?
Can I kiss him?
Will he be my one true love?
Can we go home so I can put on a dress?
That's when I stopped in my tracks. A dress? What?
I was saying before we ever left the movie, let's talk about this later with your Daddy.
There were so many things to address after this movie!
This well-made chick-flick combined with Disney princess fairytale had a powerful affect on my little girl's mind!
First, as soon as we got in the car, I let her know that she didn't have to find a husband to have the "Happily Ever After" (another frequent phrase in the movie.) She could have that with the Lord without ever getting married. I know she doesn't understand that yet, but she needs to hear it.
She said she really hopes God gives her a husband.
Then we talked about True Love's kiss could be on her wedding day. Those people going around kissing people before they're married is not the best idea.
I know this sounds crazy to some, or totally unrealistic, but you can go back to some of my dating posts to see a lot of thought and consideration of scripture goes into that idea. We are going to teach our children from a young age what it means to flee from sexual immorality. It's going to seem extreme to the world, but if they truly choose this way, I'm 100% positive they'll never regret it. I can garuntee heartache if they don't, however.
Then we talked about how Daddy is my one true love, and yes we really like kissing, as MARRIED people, but that first our joy and contentment is in the Lord. People are searching for something that only God can give them.
But she could wear a pretty dress, and dance around, and kiss on her wedding day, if God plans that for her. But God's plans would be the best for her, we can rest assured.
To see my seven-year-old daughter so affected by this chick-flick, it reiterates to me how we as women are all affected by them.
I like chick-flicks a lot! Maybe not some of the super, super cheesy ones, but the semi-cheesy ones I enjoy.
But as a married woman, I have to keep in perspective that my amazing husband and our relationship does not have to be like a movie. In fact, I think these movies could easily breed discontentment in relationships if a woman let it. I'm incredibly blessed to have a beautiful love story of my own! And I'm not kidding! I have an amazing husband that I am still completely enamored with after 10 years! He's everything I could hope for and more!!! But our day to day interactions don't look like the closing 10 minutes of Notting Hill, ya know? More like Cheaper by the Dozen.
For single women, I've heard some say they have to avoid the chick-flicks. They can't fight the urge to fixate on those things they don't have yet. Again, discontentment could easily set in. I think it's wise to assess your heart first and make sure your contentment, joy, and thankfulness is not obliterated in a 2 hour span.
I will honestly be a little more careful about these movies for my daughter. I like this movie. I think I would just rather my Emma watch movies about animals and horses and silly kid stuff than kissy face, adult relationships that are not in her reach for another 15 years (let's hope.)
Oh, one proud moment during the movie was when the Princess was wearing a wedding dress showing cleavage, and Jax leaned over and told me she wasn't dressed modestly! Wow! Hey girls, if we ever wonder what is modest, ask my kids. They recognize it immediately.
Thoughts on the chick flicks?

Barbie and modesty

We had a humorous incident with Barbie the other day.
I don't know what to think about Barbie sometimes.
Some people have super, strong feelings about Barbie dolls.
I probably haven't fully thought it through, because my daughter is mostly too busy playing with animals to think about Barbies. (I fear she prefers animals to people sometimes.) We've never actually bought her one, but other people have, so we have a few around the house.
Well this particular Barbie had on a long sleeve top that was cute, but a super short skirt. It was a rare occasion that Emma was playing with it, and I asked her "do you see anything wrong with Barbie's clothes?" She looked for a minute, and then I pointed out that Barbie didn't have much of a skirt on. So Emma went in search of something to make Barbie more modest. She tried to change her into some pants off of another Barbie, but the pants wouldn't fasten at the top, so Barbie's bottom was completely showing. We were on a quest to make Barbie modest now, so that wouldn't work. So Emma put the skirt over the pants, and put together a stylish outfit that was modest. Way to go Emma!
Emma and I have been talking about modesty a lot over the past year. Especially when it came to swimsuit season last year, and we even talked here on the blog about modesty during swimsuit season,and had a great discussion! But I am trying to instill in her the Godly quality of being modest for the purpose of obedience to God's Word and godliness.
How do I show her this in practical terms, without sounding judgmental of everyone we see dressed immodestly?
Well we dont point people out in the grocery store and say "SEE HER? THAT'S HOOCHY-MAMA! NOT MODEST, NOT MODEST!!!!!"
But I do make observations on TV with her, clothes in a store, and even dolls like the dreaded Brat dolls who are all dressed Brittany Spears, or Barbies wearing bikinis, showing their middle, or wearing not much of a skirt. Emma knows we are not going to show our middle, no matter what age she is. She purposefully changes clothes if something gets too small for her so that her belly won't show, on her own! She also often puts legging pj pants under her nightgowns so that they're not too short, on her own. I am trying to carefully show her what modest choices of clothing are, as I am prayerfully figuring it out on my own! God has been teaching me, and is still teaching me about modesty! I am pretty sure that Emma would call me out if I wore something inappropriate at this point. Cleavage, IF I had some, never okay. I was the most modest I'd ever been this summer, and I enjoyed swimsuit season like never before because of it. (I work a tank top and a cover-up skirt over my swimsuit all the time.) I took the wise advice from my Mom to NOT wear a swimsuit, even a modest one by the world's terms, in the presence of other men, and as confining as that may sound to you, it was so FREEING! I never worried about how I looked! I enjoyed our beach vacation so much more! Thank you Mom for shooting straight with me! I became much more careful about my work-out clothes. God is surely not done teaching me about this, but I am SO glad for what He's taught me already. In turn, I can teach my daughter at a young age.
Anyone else have ideas about teaching their kids about modesty? How are we dropping the ball on this, like allowing our little girls to wear things that we would definitely not wear? I'm even mindful of certain websites for girls, like the Barbie website, and these "fashion for girls" websites. (Praise God, that's SO NOT my daughter's interest anyway!) Thoughts?

True Love Waits- But How?

We went to an adoption training at New Life over a week ago. It takes days upon days to process all the information you get, and sift through the emotions, even though this was our fourth training. (It's a spectacular training! I wish every adoptive family could experience it!)
One question keeps hovering in my mind and it won't go away. There was a beautiful, Godly woman there who spoke to us as a birth-grandmother. Her teenage daughter had become pregnant, and she shared the anguish she felt, as a Christian family, having had prayed for her daughter's purity all of her life. Her description of her brokenness and heartbreak was so moving! She shared about their process of choosing adoption, and the beautiful thing God morphed this heartbreak into. But there was one question I really wanted to ask her, even though it was not the appropriate place or time. My question would have been:

"What would you have done differently to shepherd your daughter's heart towards God's perfect plan for her life concerning sexual purity, and how would you have protected her differently?"

Does any other mother of young children want to know this? I'm not just curious. I'm desperate to know. Of course, #1 will be for our children to know and love the Lord with their whole hearts! I know this! But there are plenty of good, Christian young people who are falling into the deep slippery slope of sexual sin. None of us are above it! So as a parent, what can we do, starting now, to wisely guide and protect our children. Not in fear, but in true, Godly wisdom.
I want to hear from Moms. I told my Mom today she has incredible wisdom to share on this. She promised to write about it soon on her blog for us all to read. My Mom is not only a mother of 5 grown children, but she has been working with New Life for almost 20 years, and has helped countless (I wish we could count) women through crisis pregnancies, from all different spiritual backgrounds. She really gets to know them and their families, so she sits in an incredibly unique position. Of course, add to that 30+ years in the ministry alongside my Dad. Wow! So she will speak to us soon about this, but I want to hear from anyone who has Godly wisdom to share on this topic!
Speak up! What are you doing, or have done, or have done all wrong, that we need to know! Young women, what do you wish your parents had done differently? We need to know! Please don't bash your parents, or shift blame, but will you help us learn what would have been beneficial to you concerning dating and sexual purity? I have four precious little people in my house that God has entrusted to me. I have been clinging to God's Word on this topic, and have begun to draw some conclusions about what we think this should look like, emulating God's Word and not the world. But I want to hear from others. I want older women to speak into our lives! If you know an older woman, send her this link so she can share with us. If you have a spectacular Mom like mine, e-mail her this link. Thanks!

A Heart For Worship

Look at my super serious dancer!
We had Kidshine last night, and it was awesome!
Emma had her "game day" face on, as Rusty puts it. She was all business.
She was really nervous beforehand. The perfectionist in her (a little like her Daddy!) was really coming out, and the thought that she could make a mistake was intolerable to her! Almost panicky!
What we loved about last night was it was all about worship. It was a worship service led by the kiddos. They prayed sweet prayers, sang praise songs at the top of their lungs, shared their succinct testimonies, and danced their hearts out. The Children's Minister, Howard, preached a great sermon about how we hinder the children from coming to Jesus, like the disciples did in the Bible, and reminded parents that they are imitating us. We are supposed to be modeling Christ to them all the time! The video skits of the kids acting like grown-ups, being sinful examples, was so good! Like Moms gossipping on the phone, Dads stealing office supplies, lying to get discounts, yelling at each other, etc. I'm sure every parents' heart was pricked.
The fact that this was ALL ABOUT worship, we were able to answer Emma's fears simply; this was not a performance, where the outcome depended on her. All that mattered was a heart of worship. That was truly the point of the entire night. I love that our church has never done goofy kids musicals, where gobs of people come to snap their cameras at their cute kids, but never feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit before they leave the building.
The Holy Spirit was speaking loudly last night, and I truly worshiped along with the kids.
What a blessing to see my Emma taking part in something like that!
It was nothing short of wonderful.
Thanks to all of the adults who worked with the kids in Kidshine! You are a blessing to our families!
We were so proud of Emma. She looked pint-sized up there, next to all the other kids! We are proud that she enjoyed worshiping all summer with Kidshine, and that she is learning how to lean on Jesus. What joy to watch our kids fall in love with the Lord!

Holy Dancing

Emma had a pajama party last week.
No, I'm not insane. Not the kind of party where a group of girls spend the night, giggle, run around, freeze someone's panties, cry, and do everything else but sleep.
Not in a million years.
No, this was really a DANCE PARTY, where the girls were invited to wear their pj's, come dance with us, and eat brownies.
This idea was prompted by the fact that Emma is in Kidshine at our church this summer. This is where the kids put on a program that speaks to the adults about something different every year. It's always amazing! This year, they are leading an entire worship service on their own. (That will take place August 12th. It will be an amazing night of evangelism.)
It was time to sign-up for a group to be in, so I took Emma to the sign-up desk weeks ago, so curious as to what she would choose. Her interests are not the norm...dance, singing, etc. It's more like Cheetahs, horses, and anything in which she could run around on all fours. I love that she is so unique! No pretense. She's the real Emma!
I was very surprised when she signed up to be a dancer. A dancer? I was trying not to sound so surprised. But I was thinking, really? You've never danced in your whole life! Don't you want to sign up to pray or something?
The mother in me was scared and nervous. She was not.
So a dancer she became.
I have had the opportunity to peek in on her while I was between teaching Pre-K music on Sunday nights. My heart was moved! She was dancing her heart out! Watching the other girls closely, so she could follow them. She was a little embarrassed that I was looking in on her, but seemingly not embarrassed to be moving her body to the Praise music.
I wrote a post last April about Dancing Like David. There are times when I am worshipping that I would love to move like David did, unhindered by our dignified church personas. Children don't have that! Emma has such a pure understanding that dancing is a form of worship to the Lord. She doesn't know that it is for anything else! I love watching her dance, like I can't even tell you. Not because she's a super dancer. She has no special inclination or talent for it that I could identify at this point.
But she knows that she can move her body in a way that glorifies God, and that moves me!!!
We don't have to sign her up for dance lessons, do the whole leotards and make-up routine. No thank you.
She can learn in her very own church, in our very own living room, how to worship through dance.
Because this has touched my heart as her Mom, we invited some girl friends from Kidshine to come over last Tuesday, along with Ms. Tara, who is one of the dance teachers, and we danced.
We danced!!!
We danced before the Lord!
We did our Kidshine dances. (me included)
And then we just put on some Kirk Franklin and the girls kicked it free-style.
They had so much fun!
I HAD SO MUCH FUN!
Emma's favorite part still might have been the brownies we ate, but she loved it too!
I want to continue learning, as a Mom, how to introduce my kids to new things...things that the world will use for personal glory...and ask the Lord to show me how to make it ALL ABOUT HIM.
Everything we do needs to be completely about Him.
I'm learning more and more what that means.

Meet The Godparents

I told you this week was all about Treston, right?
So let me introduce you to the godparents.



We have selected godparents for each of our children to be special people in their lives, and to pray for them. Traditionally, godparents are to help ensure the religious upbringing of the child. We have chosen these two godly couples to pray like crazy for Treston, encourage him in his walk with the Lord, and encourage us to raise him to know and love the Lord.
Both of these couples have been in our HOPE group, have been dear to us, and were here to welcome Treston into our home. We couldn't decide between them, so since they're best friends, we asked them all!
So here they are in alphabetical order, left to right...


The Mosiers! They were just married a month ago! Check out their blog!Erin & Matt both recently graduated. Matt is starting grad school soon in Meteorology, which is probably why Rusty loves them! Ha! Erin graduated with a degree in Education, and will be working for us this year! She is going to help me school the children in the mornings, and will work in Rusty's office in the afternoons. We couldn't be more excited about this! They are both from Waco. These two love our kids, and are very dear to us!


The Vanns! You can check out their new blog also! (Both the Mosiers and Vanns wrote posts recently about Treston.)Nick & Carissa have been in our HOPE group also, and Carissa has been working in our office this past semester. She's one of the beautiful ladies in the front office. They are both recently graduated as well, and are moving to Sugar Land soon to start new jobs. We are going to miss them, but thankfully, they won't be too far away. Nick & Carissa have beautiful hearts for missions, and we can't wait to see what God is going to do with their family in the future.

Thank you, guys, for loving Treston so much! And thank you for being people of prayer that have committed to lift him up! We love you!!!

The Mother Guilt...

I've decided to stop being the worst Mom ever!
The Mother Guilt...
it's powerful...
it's far-reaching...
it can pop up when you least expect it.
I haven't videoed my kids very much lately.
Emma and Jax, yes, Justus and Treston, no.
(Keep in mind I have a jillion pictures of them, and they are scrapbooked too!)
You've heard this story before. Parents get too busy, the video camera "breaks", the dog ate your video tapes...it's every parents' sad story.
And every child (who is not a first child's) martyr cross to bear.
"Let's give em' something to whine about"... (sung to Bonnie Raitt's tune.)
Well, I'm trying to give them less to hate me for later in life.
You know, cut their therapy bills in half.
So I'm picking up the video camera. I'm capturing the moments. I'm trying to avoid the mother guilt.
Who needs it? I don't.
I have enough trouble sleeping at night.

Let the Book Discussion Begin!!!

We are beginning our online book discussion of Shepherding a Child' Heart by Tedd Tripp this Monday, May 21st!

Please know that ANYONE is welcome! This is just a collection of Moms and Dads, all over the country, who want to discuss how to apply God's Word to our homes.

I am SUPER excited about this...sharing what God is teaching Rusty and I, as well as all of you. Encourage husbands to contribute as well.

So, quick! Read chapter 1 and be ready to discuss on Monday!

Go to www.allthingswifeandmom.blogspot.com for the discussion, and you can click on "Who are these crazy people?" to learn more about the women facilitating the discussion.

The Most Important Thing We Do All Day

The most wonderful part of homeschooling this year has been that it helped me get into a solid routine of Bible Study and prayer with the kids in the morning. We had a hard time before this year finding a time in the evening to do this...you know how the evenings can go sometimes. Tired kids, bathtimes, phone calls, etc. I was often frustrated that we were not consistent and disciplined in this time with the kids, and also that I never found a children's Bible story book that I liked.

I know some of you also do this with your kids, some in the evening, like Kathryn, and some very early in the morning! (Bless you Shannan and Christy!)

We too have started everyday with a lesson from scripture, and time in prayer together. (Like many of you, I've been using my own "curriculum" for this, coming up with lessons myself.) I wouldn't miss this precious time with them for the world! Hearing their prayers, having time in the Word with them, this is what it's about! This is where growing them spiritually, bit by bit, happens before our eyes. What a blessing to lift up Rusty and his office, patients, and staff everyday with my children has been! How awesome it has been to pray for Justus and Treston's birthmoms' salvation everyday with my kids! How amazing it was to pray for healing for my Mom everyday for a long time, and then witness God's supernatural healing of her, and hear my kids say "of course Mom! We prayed for that!" No matter how late we may be running in the morning, they know that we NEVER skip the most important thing we do all day...our Bible Study and prayer time. And Emma would never let me get away with it anyway. She LOVES the stories from the Bible!

Becky, the superhero who comes to help us and have one-on-one with Justus while I teach school, recently brought this Bible Story book over, and I am loving it! I have never found a book I like this much. It's a compilation of Old and New Testament stories, written very well, but every story "whispers the name of Jesus" as it says on the cover. It accurately represents how the whole Bible is about God's redemptive plan for saving us through the sacrifice of His Son, God Himself.

Check it out. I just ordered us one off of Amazon for $10. And I would love to hear any ideas or routines you guys have in your homes for teaching your kids about the Lord, through Bible study, prayer, scriptures memorization, whatever. I know all of our homes are different, and we can share new and exciting ideas with one another! Being surrounded by other Moms and Dads doing this really encourages me and spurs me on!

Being A Mom

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, Cindy, and Rusty's Mom, Bernadette. Where would we be had we not been mothered by you?
Mom, I know I am truly blessed as a woman to have had a Godly Mother modeled before my eyes everyday. I still go to you when I need wisdom, because I know it is grounded in the Word. What a gift!

As for me, I don't know that I have anything to say that is not cliche about Mother's Day. I guess I just wanted to convey how much I LOVE being a Mom! This is my chosen full-time profession, and I am being dead honest when I say there's nothing else I'd rather do! Being a Mom to Emma, Jax, Justus, and Treston brings me such joy. Being "busy at home" as Titus 2 puts it, truly is our calling. I know that's not a popular idea, and I'm grateful for a pastor who will say it, and also a Dad who said it from the pulpit recently. I don't feel under valued because I have a husband who encourages and praises me. I don't feel unfulfilled because I know this is a high and sacred calling. What I do is of eternal value. I don't want to miss a single moment of it. I don't feel unstimulated because I have my smart little students who are challenging me to learn and be a better teacher! (I can't believe how much I learned in Kindergarten!!! Don't laugh! Do you know what the only mammal is that lays eggs? Emma does.) Now of course, there are days I feel tired. There are days I feel frustrated. Thankfully, my feelings don't rule who I am. Mostly, I just feel overwhelmingly grateful. This is my dream profession, and I'm living the dream! Thank you God!