God-The Planner Of Our Family...and appropriate adoption lingo

This picture (on the slideshow of our computer) triggered this post.
What a beautiful surprise Treston was to us! We got the call the day before Thanksgiving about him...before I answered the phone, our lives consisted of three kids...and Rusty was sure that was it! There was no baby on the horizon for us. 5 minutes later, our world changed.
We weren't looking for a baby, but New Life felt the Lord lead them to us, so a baby was looking for us. How awesome was that!
We prayed and prayed. I waited for Rusty to make the call. I had great peace that my husband was seeking the Lord, and not his own feelings or desires, so I waited with confidence that he would know what the Lord wanted for our family.
He did. We said yes, and the whirwind began. We sped through the foster parent process and less than 2 weeks later, we had Treston's placement (the official placing of the baby in our arms, the picture above, and signing of the papers) on December 6th. What a wonderful day etched in my memory forever!
We already knew that God was the Planner of Our Family. He had shown us that years before. We knew God had called us to adopt, and the timing of Justus' adoption made no sense for us financially. But God spoke clearly to us...adopt...brown baby...now. That's basically what we heard.
We already had Emma and Jax, fairly close in age (less than two years apart.) We had a girl and a boy, and people said to us "Now you can quit! You have both." That seemed odd to us. But it's true...the socially, suburban, acceptable goal is to have a boy and a girl, healthy, look like you, voila. Perfect family.
We weren't aiming for the world's goal. We wanted our family to look exactly like God had in mind.
We went to Matt and Erin's wedding last night (Yay!!!) in Waco. It was a 7pm wedding, so we decided to leave the babies with Becky, and let them go to bed on time. We took just Emma and Jax.
There we were, dressed-up, Rusty, me, Emma and Jax. I ran into someone I hadn't seen in years that I knew from Baylor. She said "what a beautiful family you have." For a second, I looked at us through her eyes. We looked like that "perfect suburban family." A boy, who looks just like Rusty, and a girl who looks like me. I quickly added that we had two other little ones at home. It felt weird to be without them. There's nothing wrong with having just two children, HEAR ME, but that was not God's plan for this family. So it would have been wrong for us.
After we got Treston and we moved from 3 to 4 kids (ages 6 & under)we moved into the freak category. Again, by perfect suburban standards, 3 are acceptable, but 4 kids...people ask you immediately "Are y'all done???" Someone asked me this recently, and I kind of shrugged and said "I don't know?" He looked at me, openly puzzled by my response. I have to explain to answer honestly that we are not the Planners of our family. We don't know what God has for us. If we didn't learn that with Treston, than we are pretty dense. Adoption is the most intentional, multi-step, a million decisions process. He showed us that we can adopt a baby without ever even looking for a baby. Wow!
We like having four. We feel unbelievably blessed, and a little overwhelmed at times. Rusty always feels done. I never do. But we are content in the true sense of the word.
I believe we have to be content to allow God to grow our family the way He wants to. Family Planning is an actual term we use. Birth control, when you think of it, is pretty funny too. I'm not saying don't use birth control. (See a great discussion on birth control and family size on the Her Hands blog.) But we are NOT IN CONTROL, as much as we think we are. We as Christians are insistent on making our own plans, down to what sex babies we will have, how many, and when. Who do we think we are? I preach this hard in our Countdown class for engaged couples. Young couples are often insistent that they will be married for five years before a baby comes along. They're not encouraged to consult God on decisions like grad school, birth control, or insurance. I am always saying "But God is the Planner of your Family" like it's my mantra. You can make a plan, and you can take the pill, patch, and ring everyday, but if God wants a baby for you, then you shall have one.
I have seen young couples in our church succumb to God's Plan with joy, seeing children as a blessing, and not an interruption to their lives and careers. I'm so proud of you guys!
All this to say...God has faithfully layed out His plan for our family bit by bit. We've watched it unfold with anticipation, resistance, and surprise at times. But we desperately want to be in step with His plan for us! Can you imagine this Bacak clan missing any of us? I can't. And I'm SO GRATEFUL!

As for some tips on appropriate adoption lingo...
I have people ask me quite frequently questions about my kids. Here are the most common ones...
Are all these yours?
So you had two of your own before adopting?
Are Justus and Treston brothers?
Do you know his (Justus or Treston's) Mom?
Why did she give up her baby?

I don't mind these questions! I know people are curious, and as you know, I love sharing about our family and adoption!!!
I mind how they're worded.
People who are unfamiliar with adoption just lack sensitive words for these questions. I don't fault them for this, but I am super sensitive to what my kids are hearing when they hear these questions at the pool, Target, and HEB. (Basically, everywhere we go.)
So here's a little adoption education.
They're all MINE, whether biological or adopted, and they are all brothers and sister. I don't want my kids to ever hear otherwise.
Emma and Jax are biological children. I do not refer to Justus or Treston as our "adopted kids". They're all my kids. Period. But clearly, I birthed Emma and Jax, and God gave us Justus and Treston through adoption.
Justus and Treston have one Mom, and that's me. They both have birthmoms whom we love, pray for, and include in our lives! They are very important! But if you ask me about their "Mom" I will assume you mean me.
And birthmoms make a noble and selfless decision to place their baby for adoption, rather than give up. New Life prefers that wording, and I agree.
I know this sounds super sensitive, but pretend that you are Justus and you hear these words everyday. It could cause hurt feelings, feelings of not belonging, of being abnormal, or confusion. It's my job to protect my children over my job to satisfy people's curiosity.
We welcome questions! Truly! We love to share our adoption stories! What a blessing it is to share what God has done in our family.

A Call For Prayer

I have mentioned before about my brother Brian, and his wife Amy, going through the process to adopt two little ones. This was a strange turn of events, brought on only by the Holy Spirit, that led them into this. They have hit some roadblocks...and we desperately need your prayer! I know you guys don't know all the details, but your prayers would mean so much to our family!

My New Yellow, Best Friend

Once again, my husband has changed my life.
We have a bad history with vacuum cleaners.
For some reason, they are just not our friends.
You cannot have a Golden Retriever dog, and a vacuum that refuses to suck.
You can't.
It sucks.
To see dog hair on the floor where I put my baby down is not acceptable.
It's just not.
So remember my birthday post, where I was so excited about getting a new vacuum cleaner?
How cliche is this? A stay at home Mom so pumped about a household cleaning appliance? Some might find this sad, but I feel as though my readers will understand.
This thing is magic.
I'm in love with it.
It sucks up everything, even on my hard floors, and just leaves the items too big to vacuum alone, on the floor. It doesn't suck them in and make a God-awful noise! No. It just leaves them be.
Also, there are no long tubes to get clogged up, so it doesn't lose suction.
And best of all...this one is going to win you over...It's bagless, like all of the vacuums I've had, but to empty it, you don't have to reach in and pull out the huge glob of disghusting matter that was just under your feet. No. You don't even have to touch it. You just pull a lever, and the bottom falls out and it empties into the trash can.
The first time that happenned, I wanted to cry.
Vacuuming is now one of my favorite pass-times. (As if we have pass-times in our life, but you get the drift.)
If you call me, I may not hear the phone.
I'm vacuuming.

Check out my Mom!

Check out my Mom! How cool is she? She has a blog now.
My mom is a pastor's wife, Nana of 15 (working on 17) grandkids, and her lifework and ministry is to pregnant women, babies, and adoptive families at New Life. This is the agency who blessed us with our last two babies. We have a GREAT appreciation for the amazing work they do!
My Mom has great wisdom on marriage, family, and adoption issues. Check out her blog at www.cindyseay.blogspot.com and learn from a Titus 2 woman. She rocks!

The Fruit Fly Infestation

Does this picture make you want to throw up?
I picked one of the lesser graphic ones.
We have had a fruit fly infestation in our home.
Similar to the massive love bug plague of 2004. Do you remember that?
Who could forget? It was right when we got Justus, and I didn't want to leave the house. The love bugs were truly like an Old Testament plague. I kept wondering when we would repent here in B/CS and make them go away!!!
This is similar, but not quite near that severity.
We may not be the only ones experiencing the fruit fly problem, because I've heard other people complain about them and have seen them buzzing around the fruit at HEB.
It has reached the point where I've wanted to pack our bags.
I love this house, but those nasty little bugs make me lose my mind.
I literally become an irrational human being.
No matter what I was doing to keep the house super clean and remove any food sources for them, they just wouldn't go away.
They were the worst in my bathroom!!! What the heck is in the bathroom with sugar in it? NOTHING. They were just mocking me.
They've been laughing at me.
Every time I would kill some, I would say "Go tell your friends! IT'S ON!"
But they weren't scared.
They just kept making babies and making themselves at home.
Rusty said they only live for like 24 hours, so we've had about 14 generations of these nasty things, and they weren't planning on leaving.
I checked into having our house bombed by our Pest Control Company (One Above Pest Control...they're such nice people.) But Rusty was not ready to spend the money until he tried it himself.
Men.
Well, I have to sing his praises once again. He did it. He bought some spray and some fogger things at HEB last night, and he set it all up before we left for church this morning. I decided maybe we should couple that with some real prayer while we were there.
As we were leaving, we were talking trash to them, trying to intimidate them...hoping we could really back it up with these things.
IT WORKED! I haven't seen one since we got home from church!
We have won!!!
Way to go husband. The fruit flies are gone.
There is hope for anyone else out there whose home becomes infested.
Trash talk and HEB foggers.

My Rock Star Brothers...

Okay, only one of them is a rock star, but the others are pretty close.
I am one of five: three brothers and I have one sister.
They're all pretty awesome.
Brian has a new blog I wanted to tell you about. He and his wife Amy are pursuing adopting a two and three-year old pair of siblings, and he created this blog to share the process. Brian lives in TN with my awesome sister-in-law, Amy, and their four kids. They're about to kick it up to six, if you can believe that! Their story is amazing, and I'm anxiously waiting and watching on the edge of my seat to see what God is going to do next. Brian has worked in ministry, as well as the Christian music industry, but is now working for Compassion International, and loves it! Check it out at Brian's blog (He has a link to the left also)

Robbie is a rock star. He has a band with a super creative name...The Robbie Seay Band. (RSB) I love my little bro, and his better half, Liz. They have some gorgeous, straight-out-of-the-catalog, crazy, fun kids! Liz just started blogging as well, and I wanted to let you in on their lives. Check it out at Rob & Liz's blog (Also linked up on the left)

Chris is an author, pastor, national speaker, husband, and father of four. Chris has written many books, some published by NavPress, but his current project is a paraphrase of the Bible called 'the voice.' He and a large team of writers and artists are telling the story of scripture in a captivating narrative form. You can check out these recently published books at www.hearthevoice.com (You can also google Chris Seay and find hundreds of other links to go to. It's crazy.)

Jessica is my way little sis! She just graduated from Magnolia HS and is headed to HBU. She is passionate about missions, photography, and is so fun!!! We can't wait to see what God does with her in her college years.

That's my fam. I'm pumped their bloggers now, so I wanted to let you all know!

Happy 5th Birthday Jax!

I can't believe it. My Boogie Bear, as we call him, is 5 years old.
He is a CONSTANT source of joy in our lives.
I love his crazy, ecclectic, self-created, twelve-piece costumes he wears, and that he runs through the house- stops dead in his tracks when he sees me in the kitchen- and says "I love you Mom" and then runs off. He often declares I'm his "best Mommy ever." This child melts my heart.
His best friend is his sister Emma.
He either wears costumes or underwear. Hardly ever anything in between, unless forced.
He loves fruit, and hates chocolate.
He asked for cereal for his special birthday breakfast.
He believes in pirates, superheros, and everything Scooby-Doo.
If he needs something out of the garage at night, he asks me to go with him so "he can 'tect me" (protect me.)
He asks everyone who comes to our house or he recognizes at church "What are YOU doing here?"
He'll still snuggle and take a nap with me.
Every year is an adventure. I look forward to five-year-old Jax. I LOVE being his Mom! Happy Birthday Jax!

Happy Father's Day Super-Dad!!!

Father's Day...a day we usually give our Dad a tie and take him to lunch.
What could I possibly give Rusty to show him how grateful I am for him?
Everything is inadequate.
He is not only the man of my dreams STILL, but he is the best Dad to our "Bacak nation" as he calls it!
This is the man who...

goes grocery shopping with four little ones while I sing on the Praise Team at church on Sundays, pulling two carts, and makes every woman in the store stop and stare. He's actually somewhat famous at HEB because of this. People I DON'T know will tell me "I saw your husband at HEB! Wow! He's amazing!" (Rusty actually feels this is a sad commentary on Dad's today. He's out shopping with his own kids, and people act like it's a freak show. But it is stinkin' amazing considering having four little ones!)

comes home from work and goes immediately into tickle, wrestle, jump on the trampoline, swing, and chase mode.

comes home to the insanity for lunch with us everyday ON PURPOSE!

stayed up until 10pm (on Father's Day) making water balloons in the backyard for Jax's birthday party before getting to eat any dinner.

who kept all four of our kids while I was out of town recently for four days and still had the house totally clean when I came home.

He truly is SUPER! I could go on and on...but all this to say- Happy Father's Day Rusty! I hope you feel celebrated everyday in our home. We love, respect, and down-right adore you!

Missions and Orphans

This is my family.
It's no secret, we are passionate about adoption. We are especially passionate about trans-racial adoption. There is a recent post on the Lily 7 blog that I started about racism in the church. I would love to see some of you comment on it. That will be another post on this blog, specifically about trans-racial adoption.
This post is about caring for the orphans.
This post has been brewing in me because of what's been happenning in my extended family lately...my brother Brian and his wife Amy are pursuing adopting two kids that have been a part of a foster family in my other brother, Chris', church. (Confusing?) Chris has been burdened for these two sweet foster kids who have been in the system for over a year, and no family has been found for them. They have already been separated from a sister, and she was adopted out, but Andrie and Patience have been waiting. The agency is not a Christian one, and the likelihood of them going to a homosexual couple is increasing. The foster Mom has been hoping and praying that someone in their church would pursue them, but they have not. Chris was telling us a few weeks ago, when we were all together for my sister's graduation, about these kids. His face was literally pained as he told us about them. My brother Brian and his wife felt God prompting them through this, even though they live in TN, have four kids, no room in their house, and no money to spare. They have prayed about it, and felt a clear word from the Lord to pursue these kids. They are rushing through the paperwork and homestudy to become candidates with this agency in hopes that they will soon have 2 & 3 yr. old Patience and Adrie. They are African-American, and BEAUTIFUL kids!!! What a blessing that will be for my kids to have them as cousins. Please pray for God's hand in this and his favor as they move through this process.
It sparked a discussion in my family.
How should we feel about the orphans among us? When we received the call about fostering Treston, James 1:27 spoke to Rusty.

27 Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.

Some other words in scripture about caring for orphans...

Ps 82:3-4
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
4 Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

Isa 1:17
17 Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows.

It's a clear mandate in scripture to care for the orphans, but what does that really mean to us?
Well, I think it's exactly how we should feel about missions.
We should all care about missions.
It's a clear mandate in scripture as well to "take this message of repentance to all the nations." (Luke 24:47) No one questions that. Does that mean that EVERY ONE of us is supposed to do foreign mission work?
No.
But we should at least be asking ourselves about the role WE play in missions.
1st, what kind of missionaries are we here, where we live?
2nd, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO FULL-TIME MISSION WORK WHEREVER GOD CALLS?
3rd, If not, then are we funding the people who do?
4th, are we training people in our own churches and sending them out?
5th, Are we praying for missionaries and their work?
There are so many roles we could play in this call to missions.
There was a time in my life when I didn't care enough about missions. When I was in HS and college, I respected missionaries...I had done GA's and Acteens...I did my steps...I got my crown...(if you're not baptist, you might be confused here.) I knew missions was very important. But it had nothing to do with me, and I was too self-absorbed to REALLY care.
As I grew in maturity and in my faith, I felt more and more burdened for people all over the world to hear the Good News of Jesus, and come to know Him as I do.
Rusty and I have asked ourselves all of those questions, and we are playing a role in many mission efforts. If the Lord calls us to be missionaries outside of Bryan-College Station, then we will go. The great thing about God is He will make it clear to us if that's the role we should play.
I think it's the same with caring for orphans.
Does this mean that every family should adopt or foster?
No.
But it means you should at least be asking yourself if you should.
What role do you play in caring for orphans?
You could help fund adoptions for families who want to adopt and can't afford it.
You can fund agencies like New Life that do amazing work in the lives of women in crisis pregnancies, unborn babies, and families who adopt.
You can join in mission efforts in orphanages around the world.
There are many roles to play.
What we CAN'T do, is look at the orphans among us and think they are someone else's problem to solve. Or that we don't have what it takes to help.
We have more than enough.
Romans 12 is one of my all-time favorite chapters, and the words have struck me anew in verse 13; "When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out."
I like how that's put. Don't wait for someone else to do it. Be the one. (Anyone remember that old Al Denson song? I just got a lift your lighter and sway back and forth youth group flashback. Wow.)
Again, I'm not saying that this means everyone should foster or adopt.
I just think we should at least consider if that's what it means.
If the answer is yes, you will know it. He has made that crystal clear to us twice. He has changed our hearts and minds to match His will. When he tells you to go get a baby, like he's told my brother and sister-in-law, it becomes a drive in you that you can't turn off.
If the answer is no, then choose another way to help.
But can we continue to call ourselves Christians and feel no burden for the children that aren't our flesh and blood?
1 John 3:17 speaks to that.

17 But if anyone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help — how can God's love be in that person?

I write this as a person who has a long way to go in applying this verse to my life. I know God has so much more to teach us about giving and doing what we can and should for the needy.
I hope all of us, and our families, will be open to what God has to say to us about this.
What will our families and churches look like after we've heard Him speak?

*I'm adding an addendum to this post. Does everyone love the word addendum?
If you want to act now, the Henry's are adopting Camille, formerly known as Denaya. (cute little thing!)
For those of you who don't know them, Mark Henry is our discipleship pastor at LH.
We don't want this adoption to be a financial strain for them. We want their financial focus to be feeding those six kids, and putting gas in their 15 passenger van. (Ouch!)
So they need $900. What a privelege it would be for us all to share in this adoption by helping them financially!
If you're interested, contact me or Heather and we will arrange it, or give it directly to the Henry's.
Also, if you're curious to know about the costs of adoption, I would gladly talk with you.

My Kids' First Wedding

It's been a week since I updated my blog.
I'm really not a blog loser.
It's been a crazy week. Our lives are a little out-of-control with travelling right now.
But it's all going to resume to whatever sense of normality we can muster by the end of the week.
I can't wait!
This past weekend, my kids were in their first wedding. Jodi, who we love (you may remember seeing pics of her on the blog before...she lived with us last fall) married Andrew Saturday! It was so sweet that she asked Emma, Jax, & Justus to be apart of it! The boys were the ring bearers, and they were beyond cute in their little men tuxes. Jax didn't want to take his off. He looked good, and he knew it. He did a super job!
Justus was not impressed with wearing the jacket and tie, but it made him the center of attention, and he LOVED that! (Who knew you could wear a diaper and a tux at the same time?) He has learned how to whoop! and he does it often. That's his big crowd pleaser...the sound Aggies love to hear. He probably did it a hundred times by the end of the weekend. He was determined to be on the stage too! He and Jax walked down the aisle, holding hands and holding the pillow, (looking precious) and then walked to me and I took them out. Well, that was not good enough. During the wedding, he made a mad dash (starting in the foyer) for the stage, and made it about a third of the way down the aisle before Rusty (holding Treston) caught him by the back of his shirt and yanked him back. I was watching from the last pew, and it all happenned in slow motion. You know the feeling? I don't know what he's going to do in life to be on stage, but he's sure he's meant for it. The groomsmen reported this to be the highlight of the ceremony.

Stay posted for more updates this week. I have a blog post brewing in my mind about taking care of the orphans. (James 1:17)

My Trip to NY

I've been in NY this weekend with my Mom, my sister, and my cousin Bailey. This was a girls trip to celebrate my sister's HS graduation.
This was our first night in NY. We went to see "The Color Purple".
It was disturbing, sad, funny, and musically awe-inspiring.
Every single voice was amazing.
Fantasia from "American Idol" 2004 played the lead. She was really great!
It was pretty cool to sit in the audience and be white, and in the minority. That felt cool.
The most exciting part of the night was that Melinda Doolittle and Jordyn Sparks (winner of this year's American Idol) were in the audience with us. We were all clicking our cameras during the intermission from afar, despite the no camera rule. If you look closely, you can see both Melinda and Jordyn, plus Jordyn's parents. If I could draw arrows for you, I would.
I'm bloggin from the NY airport, where we have been for over 5 hours. Our flight is delayed, but the plane just arrived, so PEACE OUT!

WHY????

Justus' new favorite word.
But every word is precious to us!
Even why, (for now) hundreds of times a day.
Does he really want to know why?
I'm not sure.
But it's as clear as day!
Why?
This is him signing it.
It's so cute.
I also melt when he says something resembling "I love you" while shooting me the gang sign that is supposed to be the ILY sign.
That handshape is impossible for two-year-old, adorable, brown hands.

I marvel at his progress in communication.
I marvel that I don't even know where the spanking spoon is right now.
What I used to perceive as crazy, two-year-old rebellion, I now look back and realize it was 90% pure anger and frustration.
His personality is different!
He is cooperative, delightful, SO stinkin' funny! We are enjoying each other now like we were meant to.
I am overwhelmingly thankful to the Lord for preparing me for this sweet boy by making me fluent in ASL long before I knew he would exist in my life.

WHY???
Because God is good.
He is faithful.
He works all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to HIS purpose.
We love Him, and we are called to whatever God puts before us!
Thank you God for Justus!!!

I'm 32...and it feels good

Today is my birthday (May 30th.)
It's also my big brother Brian's birthday- Happy Birthday B!

I did not enjoy my 30th birthday. Besides it coming at a difficult time in my life, it was not exciting to me to enter my 30's. I was quite comfortable in my 20's and really didn't wish to enter a new decade of me. (Or so I thought.) I wanted to be stuck in the 20's. I didn't feel ready for my 30's! I was being rushed, pushed, forced into it. Couldn't we all just wait until we're ready to be 30?
I had decided I was stuck specifically at 25. I think that's a great age. I still don't feel as old as I am. I can't shake the feeling that I just graduated from college. (That was almost 10 years ago.)
There have been many indicators to me that I am old.
-I just said 10 years, like 10 years is nothing. When you're 20 that's half of your life!
-I've had the same make-up bag for 7 years, and I felt like I just got it.
-College kids are starting to look like high school kids.
-The commercials for those cheesy compilation CD's bring back great memories; I replay them over and over on my DVR, incredibly tempted to call that number NOW! (Especially the commercial with the hair bands of the 80's and 90's singing rock ballads. I love that one!)
-I have four kids. That's a reality check.
-The college girls I hang out with have never seen the staple movies of my life, such as "Say Anything", a John Cusak classic. They look at me with blank stares when referencing music, TV, and movies in general.
-Mostly, because I remember when I thought of people who were 32, and they were stinkin' OLD.

At 30, I was a bit uncomfortable, trying to be okay with it. At 31, a tad better.
But today, I feel really good.
I feel very comfortable in my own skin, even if it looks a little older.
I'm so grateful to be who God is making me and molding me to be. I'm so glad to have grown tremendously spiritually in the last five years. I don't ever want to go back.
I have a lot to show for 32! Almost 9 years of marriage. Four incredible kids.
I can only thank God for my life today! Being 32, I have some years to look back on, sharing the greatest mistakes and 'if only I could do that over' moments with my college girls.
I am desperately seeking the wisdom of women older than me on how to be the wife, mother, and woman God is calling me to be today.
I didn't dread this birthday. I have been looking forward to it. It might have taken me two years, but I'm fully embracing my 30's! Contentment, my sisters...it's paramount! God, forgive me for every corner of my life where discontentment is hiding.

Today has been a great day! My husband...have y'all met him? He's amazing!
He made me my favorite cake. It's the most complicated cake ever to make! I am probably evil for preferring it. It's a carrot cake with a glaze and cream cheese frosting. 3 separate recipes. It's amazing. (Southern Living, of course.) Some of you ate it last year on my birthday.
He and the kids made me a birthday breakfast. Fried eggs and waffles.
I got to go running, and even though it was hot, humid, and disghusting, I enjoyed the time to run and pray, listening to music that draws me into worshiping Him-while sweating.
I had a fantastic birthday lunch at my absolute favorite restaurant in town, Madden's, with some sweet girlfriends.
Becky and the kids made me the sweetest birthday cards I've ever received!
And tonight I have a hot date. Rusty is taking me to Messina Hoff! We've never been there, in all the four years we've lived here. I'm super excited!
Also, we're going to get a new vacuum cleaner, which makes me immensely happy, considering the dog is shedding and my vacuums is sucking nothing but air.
Best of all, everytime my husband addresses me, including waking me up this morning, he calls me birthday girl. I love this man.
I'm 32, and it's a great day.

My New Brilliant Plan for our Lives...

We had an 8 hour car ride yesterday. With four kids. I think there should be an award of some kind for that.

8 hours of listening to kids movies and watching po-dunk towns fly by will make your mind wander.

Actually, the mind wandering started earlier in the week. You see, I read a book (recommended by Laurie Mounce) this week that was set in the mountains of Georgia. It didn't take long into the book before I was certain we needed to live in the mountains. Last year, while at Camp Ozark, I read a John Grisham book where a man was sent to Italy through the witness protection program, and I was most certain that we needed to live in Italy. (Or at least visit! I've never been to Europe.) Rusty has been to Europe and some other cool places, but prior to high school graduation, I'd only been out of the state to Arkansas. I come from a large family, and my Dad has always been in the ministry, so our vacation budget was nill. We lived in the Houston area and we vacationed in Galveston. Usually in a church member's condo, or some such free/cheap deal. I now realize that family vacations are about family time, but back then, I was more than annoyed with a car ride squeezed between my smelly, leggy brothers, perfecting their burps for the family vacation burping contest. (A contest I never entered. I was a girly girl.)

All that to say...I sometimes have the longing to travel! But I don't want to just spend a week or two in some interesting, completely different location. I want to spend a whole year there. I want to spend all four seasons there. I don't want to spend just a summer in the mountains. I want to see the Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer come and go. I want to know what it's really like to live in snow; (if it is anything like I've romanticized it to be, or if I will totally hate it.) I want to know what it's like to hike up a mountain in your backyard everyday instead of going to the gym. I have so many questions! I want to know what the people are like...what their churches are like...how our lives would be different.

When we pass through a small town in Arkansas, I spend the next 20 min. imagining what it would be like to live there and go to First Baptist Church Delight, AR, etc. I do this with every place I see. I construct an elaborate imaginary life there. My kids go to the K-12 all-in-one campus, we go to Melba's Homecookin' Diner every Thursday for lunch, Rusty runs a small practice behind our house...it goes on.

So we've decided we could do short-term missionary work in all of these places. Rusty could set up a practice to meet a need in the community and immediately establish a rapport with us and the community. Then we could share Jesus with the people in our new temporary home! What a great plan! Do you think I could get the mission Board on board with this?

So here is the list I have compiled of the interesting places I want to live for a year each.

1. Australia.

Preferably somewhere near the Barrier Reef. I understand this is a very unchurched region. I learned a lot about Australia this year in Kindergarten, and I'm fascinated. Besides, Emma would do anything to go to Steve Irwin's zoo where animals are NOT kept in cages! She is violently opposed to that! We have watched enough of the animal shows on TV to want to see a wallaby and kangaroo in person. And most of all, I REALLY, REALLY want to listen to those people talk for a year. It will drive Rusty nuts!

2. Roatan, Honduras.

We went there once on a cruise, and the beach was unbelievable. The poverty was heart-breaking. We've always talked about going back there to do mission work.

3. Montana.

I am dead-set on living in the mountains.

4. The Appalachian Mountains.

Yes, the mountain people! Rusty hasn't read the book "Christy", so he does not share this dream. I am sure the mountain people need our help!

5. Lake Tahoe.

This is a gorgeous place! We visited there when we were first married, and we've always dreamed of retiring there. It has mountains and the beautiful Lake! Our mission here will be Ski Doctor. We can minister to all of the tourists via medicine, while my kids become expert skiiers.

6. Alaska.

I'm not sure I could endure this kind of cold in the winter, but this is Rusty's contribution to the list. (I'll throw him one.) However, it definitely is an interesting place. I could go with it.

That's my list for now. I have a feeling every book I read will add another year to the adventure.

I want to know what places you guys would choose...join my dream world.

Any suggestions?

Adventures of Camp Ozark: Part 2

This looks like a beach vacation.
It's not. It's CAMP OZARK!
It's the sand volley ball court.
This is from Monday night. We had so much fun!
Emma has been charming people with her daredevil ways, and today spent hours on the water trampoline.
Heather, I tried the meaningful conversation while brushing her hair, in order to give a more authentic "Little House" feel to our cabin tonight, but she was a Cheetah, so we didn't get very far. I don't think there were ANY girls like Emma on "Little House."
This week is totally different from the past weeks we have come to Camp Ozark...we usually come in July when campers are here. This is Orientation week for the counselors. So there are no campers, only oodles of fun college students...who love kids...and there are only our kids and the permanent staff members' kids here. So our kids are FAMOUS. Jax is well known around the bumper boats for his schmack talk, and constant spraying of strangers. He's so precious! He watched closely today while Rusty and I did the ropes course and zip line, and yelled up to me "Mom, I love you! When you come down, can you hold me?" I love this boy.


Justus is that adorable little boy who signs. This has captured the heart of every beautiful college girl here. He has also learned to WHOOP and put his thumb up as a crowd-pleaser to the Aggies. I certainly didn't teach him that. We have to credit Bec-Bec (Becky who is here with us, having fun, and helping us out tremendously) with that one.
Unfortunately, Justus has been sick, and is running fever for almost four days now, and has a terrible sore throat. This has only limited his fun marginally. After we had dinner Monday night, they had a dance, and Justus got in the middle and did a little break dancing, while people gathered around and cheered. He was trying to show these white people how it's done.


Treston, quite the hit of the entire camp!
I seriously could have charged admission on this night, because we had dinner "on the grounds" outside, and we just stripped him down and let him go to town on some rice and fruit. It was the mess you might expect. But these cute college people do not see chubby babies covered with rice, in their ears, up their noses, everyday. They gathered around in large groups just to watch. Treston was unbothered. There was food present. That was all that mattered to him. When the food runs out, he starts yelling. This is a pic of his first ice cream. There was no way we were going to get away with having some and deny him! He's pretty easy-going, until it comes to food, as you can tell! The girls have lined up just to hold him, so we let a group take him while Rusty and I braved the ropes course and zip line today.

Other highlight: we went fishing last night. Does anyone remember the phantom fish that I caught last year, unwitnessed by people over the age of 5? Well, we all got lucky this year. Everyone of us caught a fish, and Rusty even caught a hook in the finger. Such are the dangers of fishing with kids. I got some very stereo-typical, adorable pictures of my kids holding up their fishes proudly before throwing them back. It was awesome!

By the way, thanks for the recommendations on reading! I am almost done with one of them, and ready to start another. I have enjoyed reading for hours and hours at night! It's been great.

We will be packing it up all too soon. I do miss all of you guys, and will see you soon. Pray for us, driving straight through on the way home (8 hours) with tired (and some sick) kids, and many valuable things precariously strapped to the top.

And yes, Ashley, we'll just squeeze you in next year! I think they expect us to keep bringing more and more kids each year, at this rate. I don't know where another one would sleep, but that wouldn't stop the Ingalls family, would it?

I'll keep you posted on further adventures. Love to all of you!

Camp Ozark Adventures: Part 1

First of all, pure success...we made the trip from Texas to Arkansas with two double jogging strollers and a car top carrier full of our belongings strapped to the top of our loaded-down van...straps flying in the wind...semi-trucks passing like hurricane force winds. We made it. And so did our stuff. I can only sing my husband's praises for this huge VICTORY!
We have been basking in the gorgeous weather here! (Prior to today, which is rainy.) It has been absolutely gorgeous, couldn't order a more perfect temperature. It's been a sweat-free camp, and I didn't even know that existed. I don't feel so disghusting at the end of the day that
I want absolutely nothing to do with myself...to run away from ME.
We took a hike with the entire camp up to the cross (at the top of a mountain) with the kids. Now, hiking was not in my vocabulary years ago when Rusty met me. I am a changed woman. I am a good wife. (At least for hiking. I don't know about anything else.) I actually like the physical challenge. However, I'd enjoy it more if there were not the risk of my children falling to their death. Much more.
These pics tell the story of what my kids have enjoyed the most. The newest addition to Camp Ozark...bumper boats that SPRAY other people. What could be cooler than that, at least in Jax's mind?
I believe I'm eligible for "Mom of the Year" for getting on a boat with Justus and letting my
children spray me relentlessly for about 15 minutes. The kids barely got a drop on them, but I was soaked. But it was fun.
Emma, of course, did the zip line and ropes course the very first thing when we got here. She is as fearless as ever.
We are sleeping four kids in a one-room cabin, which feels very
"Little House" to me, minus the air conditioning unit and the refrigerator.
We are having a great time!
Love to you, our friends!

Let the Book Discussion Begin!!!

We are beginning our online book discussion of Shepherding a Child' Heart by Tedd Tripp this Monday, May 21st!

Please know that ANYONE is welcome! This is just a collection of Moms and Dads, all over the country, who want to discuss how to apply God's Word to our homes.

I am SUPER excited about this...sharing what God is teaching Rusty and I, as well as all of you. Encourage husbands to contribute as well.

So, quick! Read chapter 1 and be ready to discuss on Monday!

Go to www.allthingswifeandmom.blogspot.com for the discussion, and you can click on "Who are these crazy people?" to learn more about the women facilitating the discussion.

The Most Important Thing We Do All Day

The most wonderful part of homeschooling this year has been that it helped me get into a solid routine of Bible Study and prayer with the kids in the morning. We had a hard time before this year finding a time in the evening to do this...you know how the evenings can go sometimes. Tired kids, bathtimes, phone calls, etc. I was often frustrated that we were not consistent and disciplined in this time with the kids, and also that I never found a children's Bible story book that I liked.

I know some of you also do this with your kids, some in the evening, like Kathryn, and some very early in the morning! (Bless you Shannan and Christy!)

We too have started everyday with a lesson from scripture, and time in prayer together. (Like many of you, I've been using my own "curriculum" for this, coming up with lessons myself.) I wouldn't miss this precious time with them for the world! Hearing their prayers, having time in the Word with them, this is what it's about! This is where growing them spiritually, bit by bit, happens before our eyes. What a blessing to lift up Rusty and his office, patients, and staff everyday with my children has been! How awesome it has been to pray for Justus and Treston's birthmoms' salvation everyday with my kids! How amazing it was to pray for healing for my Mom everyday for a long time, and then witness God's supernatural healing of her, and hear my kids say "of course Mom! We prayed for that!" No matter how late we may be running in the morning, they know that we NEVER skip the most important thing we do all day...our Bible Study and prayer time. And Emma would never let me get away with it anyway. She LOVES the stories from the Bible!

Becky, the superhero who comes to help us and have one-on-one with Justus while I teach school, recently brought this Bible Story book over, and I am loving it! I have never found a book I like this much. It's a compilation of Old and New Testament stories, written very well, but every story "whispers the name of Jesus" as it says on the cover. It accurately represents how the whole Bible is about God's redemptive plan for saving us through the sacrifice of His Son, God Himself.

Check it out. I just ordered us one off of Amazon for $10. And I would love to hear any ideas or routines you guys have in your homes for teaching your kids about the Lord, through Bible study, prayer, scriptures memorization, whatever. I know all of our homes are different, and we can share new and exciting ideas with one another! Being surrounded by other Moms and Dads doing this really encourages me and spurs me on!

Quick!!! I Need Vacation Reading...

Rusty and I are so excited to be vacationing soon. We are headed to Camp Ozark for our yearly nature adventure. Of course, I will keep you updated with stories and pictures this year of the Fearless Emma, capable of awe-inspiring feets on the ropes course and zip line, crazy hole-in-the-wall places we will eat at on the way there and back, and the ultimate adventure...sleeping a family of six in a one-room cabin. It will be wonderful!
But I am in desperate need of some really good vacation reading, and I need your book suggestions.
I want fiction. I don't want any book that's going to make me think hard, or make my life better. Those are the books to read during my real life, not my vacation life. I really enjoy Christian fiction, like Francine Rivers. What is wrong with that woman? Why can't she write faster? I don't think I've had a new book from her in years! She would definitely be my favorite.
Anyone have a good recommendation that I could run to the library and grab? I don't want to take a gamble at the library, and end up with a stinky book. I like to do a lot of late-night reading by flashlight while at Camp Ozark. It will totally make my week! Help!

Being A Mom

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, Cindy, and Rusty's Mom, Bernadette. Where would we be had we not been mothered by you?
Mom, I know I am truly blessed as a woman to have had a Godly Mother modeled before my eyes everyday. I still go to you when I need wisdom, because I know it is grounded in the Word. What a gift!

As for me, I don't know that I have anything to say that is not cliche about Mother's Day. I guess I just wanted to convey how much I LOVE being a Mom! This is my chosen full-time profession, and I am being dead honest when I say there's nothing else I'd rather do! Being a Mom to Emma, Jax, Justus, and Treston brings me such joy. Being "busy at home" as Titus 2 puts it, truly is our calling. I know that's not a popular idea, and I'm grateful for a pastor who will say it, and also a Dad who said it from the pulpit recently. I don't feel under valued because I have a husband who encourages and praises me. I don't feel unfulfilled because I know this is a high and sacred calling. What I do is of eternal value. I don't want to miss a single moment of it. I don't feel unstimulated because I have my smart little students who are challenging me to learn and be a better teacher! (I can't believe how much I learned in Kindergarten!!! Don't laugh! Do you know what the only mammal is that lays eggs? Emma does.) Now of course, there are days I feel tired. There are days I feel frustrated. Thankfully, my feelings don't rule who I am. Mostly, I just feel overwhelmingly grateful. This is my dream profession, and I'm living the dream! Thank you God!

More Signs and more websites...

If you've seen Justus lately, you know he's getting crazy fluent in sign, and has even gained some new words.
There is an even better website I want you to check out. It's http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro This one has a much more extensive video dictionary! Awesome!
I have made a new list of signs that you are almost sure to see if you walk into our home on any given day. Ready?

Loud
Hurt
Gross
Touch
Not (also use for Do not or to negate almost any action)
Dirty (also the sign for dirt)
Diaper
Change
Need
Good
Work
Firefighter (We use a different sign than what's on the website. Make a B handshape, and put it to your forehead, facing thumb out, like the badge on their hats. Justus points to himself and then signs this about 100 times a day. He wants you to know HE'S going to be a firefighter!)
Name Signs:
Justus (Make a J handshape in your hair, on the side of your head, like for curly hair.)
Treston (Make a T handshape, and tap it against your chin a few times)
Emma (Make an E handshape and sign girl with it)
Jax (Justus made this one up himself...tap your index finger to the side of your forehead, like the sign for "think", and then turn it out into an X handshape, in one motion. It's easier than it sounds.)
Mom- sign for Mother
Dad-sign for Father, but Justus baby signs these with just one finger, FYI.

Okay, so now let's put those into Justus sized sentences. This is like a cumulative test.
Practice Sentences:
Justus, please don't touch. (Justus please not touch)
That's too loud! Treston is asleep. (Loud! Treston sleep)
That's yucky! Don't eat that. (gross! not eat)
You need a diaper change. (FYI, I don't sign "dirty" for a dirty diaper, I sign stinky, by just holding my nose. Dirty is not really appropriate for a dirty diaper.)
Does that hurt? I'm sorry! (Hurt? Sorry)
You want a firefighter book?
Where's Daddy? At work. (Daddy Where? Work)
Good job Justus! (Good Work)
Your clothes are dirty. Let's go change. (Clothes dirty. Go change)

Remember, if you sign these things with no expression, it's almost meaningless! Take note of the expressions of the signers on the website. When you meet a deaf person, the expression will almost overwhelm you. But there is grammar built into expression! A deaf person would rather have expression than perfect signs! That's just a side tip when it comes to learning ASL. It also helps with communication with Justus. The more expression he has, the more likely we are to understand what he's signing.
Remember, he still uses baby signs. He doesn't sign these things perfectly. You have to be around him to get used to his signs. But it doesn't take long!
Thanks for those of you really learning! It shows how much you love our sweet boy!

Taking Action!

May 6th has come and gone. Hallelujah!
Sunday marked the end of a waiting period for us with Treston. It feels good to be on this side of May 6th. It's a day that's been circled on my calendar for months.
Many of you have asked me where we are with this adoption. My answer has had to be "waiting." There was a waiting period that had to take place before any legal action could be taken.
We waited.
Now we are ready to take action! We want to make what we already feel to be true, about Treston being our baby, a legal reality!
Pray for New Life's lawyer, who will be representing us. We have already seen God move; as Rusty prayed and fasted about this, God gave him the name of a patient of his who is a lawyer, experienced in family law. Rusty actually saved this man's life once, so we called in a favor. (He was in his early 30's with no risk factors for heart disease, and had come in with some chest pain. Rusty decided to check into it more, despite his age, and found a 90% blockage. The next day he had major bypass surgery. It's awesome when God speaks to your doctor!) This lawyer has been advising New Life's lawyer, and they decided to move the proceedings to OUR county! We are excited about this, because we have heard the judges are more conservative here and apt to move quickly, and we won't have to drive all over the world to attend the court proceedings.
We believe God already has a judge for us. We know He knows the outcome, but we are called to PRAY. So again, I'm asking you to pray also. Unless you have been through this, it's hard to imagine. But going to court to let someone else decide if your baby can stay with you is a strange thing. It can be very scary. We have clung to Phil. 4:6-7, as it says "Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. And then the peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." We cannot worry, we can only pray, and be thankful for the amazing things He has done in Treston's life already.
The Adoption Party will be joyous! The Baby Dedication will be so sweet! Writing his new name will be fun! Please pray with us for this to come to pass, and for all of the details. Legal proceedings can be a mess, and lengthy! We are praying against that.
Some of you have asked about the details of Treston's situation, or even Justus'. I may have awkwardly evaded your question. I'm not always good at that, because I am naturally a forthcoming person. But let me tell you why...these boys have stories behind their adoptions. They have birthmothers, and birthfathers. I understand that people are curious about this. But these are their stories to tell. Some of the facts they may wish to keep private, and I'm not going to spill it to everyone we know, every person we chit-chat with in Target for that matter, for their sake. It's not that I don't trust you with this information, it's just not fair to them. As adoptive parents, we need to be discreet. I have not really explained that publicly, but I hope that makes sense. The real story is God had a plan for their lives. He picked them up and planted them in the family he knew from the beginning of time would be theirs. It grants us all a greater understanding of being adopted as Christians, as the Bible puts it. It is a true picture of the gospel story, living and breathing in our family.
Thanks for your prayers! We treasure them. We're going to make this boy a Bacak!!!

The Lady in the Orange Shirt

Get to know the lady in the orange shirt...

I think we're going to be great friends.

This is the cool new ASL website I found! It has a video clip for an entire dictionary of words! The other websites I found like this you had to subscribe to and pay for. But this one's free!!!! Don't you love free? It is exponentially easier to learn signs from a video clip rather than still pictures. This was a great find! The address is http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm It's a long one, so just add it to your favorites.

I will post a new list of signs very soon, so you can check this out. Those of you learning, keep it up! We have to learn quickly to keep up with Justus! He's amazing. He's putting together three signs at a time easily, when just a few months ago we were at one word utterances only. (And they were limited.) I'm so proud! Our home has changed so dramatically!

Justus is happy!

He makes jokes!

Our Spanking Spoon is not so tired!

He never throws his poop anymore! :)

He tells me what he wants for breakfast!

He tells Rusty things that have happenned in his day!

He knows all his shapes and colors!

He's learning his alphabet!

For all of this, we give great glory to God! He is good!

Just In Case I'm NOT the Only One Who Doesn't Know...

You all may know this, but just in case...
There is this amazing show on the Discovery channel called Planet Earth.
I got the tip from my parents, but scolded Heather for not letting me know first, and she just "assumed I would know."
Well we all know what happens when we assume.
So I'm assuming some of you don't know.
You may not be interested in a nature/wildlife show.
I would never have given it a first glance before I married Rusty, who LOVES this stuff, and then passed on a massive obsession for it down to my daughter.
This is Emma's absolute, hands-down favorite show! She thinks the "woman from Planet Earth" (narrator: Sigourney Weaver) knows everything, and is the greatest source of knowledge she has! It has opened up a new world for Em. I am very aware that I have nothing left to offer Emma as a teacher when it comes to animals. She has now surpassed my knowledge of animals. My only edge on her is I know how to read big books. When she conquers that, I will lose! She has an insatiable thirst to know everything she possibly can about nature and wildlife. After she watches a "Planet Earth" once, maybe twice, she has it memorized. She wants you to watch it with her, but she will narrate the whole time. You don't get to hear it from Sigourney Weaver.
So this show...it's pretty cool. I was just watching the filmmaker's stories about how they get the "never before seen footage" (which they say every 10 minutes). For instance, we saw some rare and beautiful birds from a remote area of the world do their mating dance and it was AMAZING. But the poor camera crew waited for 8 weeks, 8 hours a day, in a camoflouged tent, waiting...all day...doing nothing but sitting in the same spot, looking at birds. Can you imagine? All of these stories astounded me.
You truly do see things never before seen in nature. They are learning things no one knew about all kinds of species on land and in the sea because of new technologically advanced cameras, and somtimes filming with them from the sky. You've got to check this show out! It's so educational for kids and adults, but be warned: the circle of life is accurately represented. Animals eat other animals. I have to skip forward sometimes because I don't like that, but Emma doesn't like to skip anything. She can take it. Can you believe that? But if there was a hunter, of ANY animal present hurting an animal, she would be irate!!! She'd get on her six-year-old soapbox so fast! If you hunt, please don't mention it to Emma. She will never be able to see you the same.

It Will Change Your Life...

My husband is always re-inventing my life...for the better...with gifts.

Several years back, he got me this scrapbooking software.

I used to scrapbook by hand.

It was fun. But it was messy. We couldn't eat off of our table for weekends at a time, because there were papers, glues, scissors, and pictures spread everywhere. I would cut, stick, and create every free moment on certain Saturdays, and would literally be sore the next day.

I was headed for a terrible chronic scrapbookers disease, that has yet to have been diagnosed in the medical community, but just wait...it's coming. It will be known as CSD. It will consist of crippled hands, necks, and backs. Not good.

The software is still fun, creative, and best of all, sticker and glue-free. I can sit in bed at night with my laptop and scrapbook. I never pay for scrapbooking materials anymore. (Ch-ching. money saved.) I only pay for photo paper and page protectors. And ink cartridges of course. (You have to have a decent printer to pull this off.)

I do less pages, because you can fit more pictures on a page. Instead of 6 pages on a trip to the zoo, it's more like 2-3. You can make your pictures as big or as small as you want, change their shapes, coloring, add effects, crop, etc. I usually just pick a background or border, add my text, and I'm done. Voila. No chronic scrapbookers disease. Easy.

So this begs the question, why was I nearly two years behind on scrapbooking?

There is an answer.

We were cruising along, totally up-to-date each month in my books, chronicling our lives. Then a few years ago, my in-laws got us a SUPER COOL digital camera. We love it!!! It's awesome. But it was not compatible with my scrapbooking software. So I stopped. I didn't know what to do. I refused to go back to the old way. I refused to get pictures printed and payed for. So I just stopped. I became a delinquent scrapbooker. That wasn't me!!! I was so on top of things! I was so proud of my books! How did this happen to ME?

I would lay in bed at night and worry about how I would ever catch up. Almost a year and a half passed. What could I do? Rusty had bought me a different software to try to remedy the problem, but it was no good. My motherly self-esteem plummetted. You all know, we Moms don't need extra cause for the "mother guilt," as I call it.

Well this week, all has been set right. The 'lost years' have been restored. I have been a woman CRAZED! On a mission! Ask anyone who's been in my home this week. I have been eating, drinking, sleeping, and breathing scrapbooking. First, Rusty and I went and got the NEW Scrapbook Factory...but not the old program I had. No...it's DELUXE. They're not kidding about the Deluxe. It's so much better! Then, I just gave in and took all my CD's of pictures and stood at the machine at Target until it practically exploded. I printed out all the pictures over the lost years, and slid them into books. Not creative. Not fun. But done.

Then I scrapbooked starting with November 06, almost to the day we got the call about Treston, for our family book, and started Treston's life book. I'm in February now. I'm getting there! It feels so good!

I will sleep better at night. My inner Mom rating, which will always find a reason to be low, is on the rise. I think this is God's gift to the over-weary scrapbooker. Especially those with many children. And cute children! Come on, who can resist pictures of these kiddos!

So come over anytime and look at my books. I don't know if you'll think they're as cute as books done by hand, but you have to factor in the time, money, and energy saved.

My husband is a genius.

Mother's Day is coming up. Seriously, this will change your life!

Modesty and Quaker Jane

Modesty has been a topic in our "Her Hands" class at Living Hope recently. Heather has written about it on her own blog allthingshendrick.blogspot.com and you can check out herhands.blogspot.com also. There were some amazing insights and comments that made this topic even clearer!

I guess I am not done thinking about it, so I want to hear from even more women on this. And men too, if there are men who read this blog. (I have no idea?)

I Googled "Modest Dress" and I came up with several websites. One being quakerjane.com. I guess you can purchase a lovely outfit such as this one, if you so desire. There were other websites with long-sleeve swimsuits and prairie dresses as well. I don't mean to mock these sects of people, because they may have a handle on this topic that we simply don't have. But I must wonder...why are we still so off-mark on this, women?

Are we so reticent to just give up articles of clothing to be obedient?

Have we not heard explicitly enough from men about their struggle with lust, and how just a glance in your direction "showing skin" causes them to think impure thoughts, out of pure reflex?

Are we so prideful that we won't let anyone tell US what to wear!?

Or have we exalted ourselves and "looking cute" so that we can compete with other girls, in order to feed our very poor and distorted self-images?

I really think it is a compilation of all these things, more some than others, varying from woman to woman. We had an honest conversation about this in our HOPE group last week. I think we need to keep re-visiting this topic again and again. We are slow. We are rebellious. We are ignorant.

Our pastor will talk about this very thing, even giving specific examples of things that are inappropriate to wear (which is probably not so easy to do, for a man) and I see girls wearing those exact things to church the next week. And as discussed on Heather's blog, these were in their "church clothes" category! (Which is a category Heather and other women pointed out should be eliminated!)

I can't just point the finger though girls. I'm in my 30's (that still pains me to say) and I am still finding things in my closet that need to go!

So what's the problem?

Well, one thing is for certain. I think we as older women need to be teaching the younger women very explicitly on this topic. I have decided that this topic and the issue of sexual immorality cannot be taught vaguely, with broad strokes of what it means to sin in this area. We need to be SPECIFIC! And with modesty, that is hard, because giving rules doesn't seem the most effective way to do this. But the Enemy is too good at convincing us, as we stand in our closet, that what we are putting on is okay. It's being worn by everyone. We're not doing anything wrong.

Women, what are the solutions here?

How do we bring our younger sisters along, gently but firmly?

As swimsuit season approaches, what needs to be said?

Anyone?

I plan on writing an article about this for Lily 7, so you all are my research.

Bring it.

Speak plainly. We need to hear it.

Signs for the week!

It's time for new signs! Some of you are already asking for them, so good for you guys!

My Mom, the wonderful Nana that she is, is learning quickly, and reminded me how important it is to learn the alphabet. I didn't really think about it, because Justus is not fingerspelling yet, but many signs use the hand shape of certain letters, and it's easier to learn the signs if you know them.

So if you don't really know the alphabet yet, that is a good place to start.

As for a Justus update, he's a super signer. I'm trying to include plenty of signs that he uses daily so that when you visit the Bacak household, you can freely communicate with our little guy. Some of you already are! It blesses my heart like you wouldn't believe!

New Signs:

Where?

Why?

shoes

clothes

get dressed ( it's the sign for clothes 1X, 2X for actual clothes)

popsicle (look at the sign for ice cream, but put up your pointer finger, like the stick in a popsicle)

apple

banana

color

like (as in "I like bananas")

swing (One of Justus' most commonly used signs lately. It's the sign for sit, but you move your hands back and forth, like you're swinging.)

Practice Sentences:

Where are your shoes? (where shoes, eyebrows raised)

I want a popsicle, please. (I want popsicle please)

What color is the apple? (What color apple, what, eyebrows furrowed)

The apple is green. (apple green)

Where are your pajamas (sleep clothes)? (Where sleep clothes, where, eyebrows furrowed)

What color is the truck? (what color truck, what, eyebrows furrowed)

Do you want to jump on the trampoline? (You want jump, jump, jump, eyebrows raised)

I like to swing. (I like swing)

Happy Signing, people! Let me know of any questions you have.

Dancin' Like David

There are many instances in our culture in which it is acceptable to dance.

An organized dance function, (Baptists, cover your ears, or eyes in this instance) a concert, where one might even bounce around, scream, and do a little mosh-pit business, any kind of sporting event, in which your team does something exciting. I've seen my husband bust some moves during the Aggie football season. There was probably a good bit of dancing and screaming when they beat UT this year. A wedding celebration, New Year's celebrations, and so on.

There are plenty of things that get us excited, and cause us to want to move our bodies because of it.

Church is not usually one of them.

No, in church, sometimes we act like we're at a funeral. Having sung on the stage during worship at many churches, people truly looked like someone had died. Like they'd rather be anywhere than in worship. Some can't even be bothered to open their mouths to sing, or stand up. It has always made me sad.

Our church has such amazing worship. I love that people come, and sing outloud praises to God, kneel at the altar when they feel the need, even raise their hands in adoration of the Lord. That might seem a little weird to some. I don't know. But when you are so moved by worshipping the Lord, you feel the need to respond, and I'm so encouraged by being in a church where people do.

However, there's usually not much dancing. Sometimes, we get to moving a bit...while in place... careful not to move our feet too much...containing ourselves, of course.

But why?

Why do we "contain ourselves" so?

We would not wish to be undignified, right? We don't want to seem strange to others. Besides, dancing would push our church into a whole other weirdo category, that is NOT widely acceptable.

Well, Saturday night's Easter Service at Living Hope was one of the best worship experience for Rusty and I! Wow! What freedom! What a spirit of gratefulness to the Father for sacrificing His Son, FOR US! Gratefulness to Jesus for paying the price for OUR sins, when He knew what was coming, and He knew how painful it would be. We watched clips from "The Passion of Christ" and having to visually appreciate what Christ did was moving. We celebrated what God has done for us! We celebrated that we serve a RISEN Savior! And it was good.

I was most moved by a member of our church, who I am not looking to embarrass by any means, but his actions spoke to me. I don't know him very well, but he is a young professional, super-nice guy, rather poised, maybe reserved, soft-spoken kind of guy. He came to the altar to pray during our celebration time, and suddenly started to dance. I mean DANCE, and BOUNCE. Praising and worshipping with his whole body. It was so beautiful. It was just like I've always wanted to, on the inside, but never have...dancing before the Lord. He shouted and praised with complete abandon, and a pure heart.

There is a passage of scripture that was immediately brought to mind...when David danced before the Lord in 2 Samuel 6. The Ark of the Covenant was being brought back to Jerusalem. There was much rejoicing! It says in verse 14

"And David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly tunic. So David and all Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with much shouting and blowing of trumpets."

His wife, Michal, looked out of her window and saw David going nuts in celebration to the Lord. It says she was filled with contempt for him. She later chastised him, ridiculing him for acting a fool right in front of the servant girls. In verse 21, he answers her:

"David retorted to Michal, "I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the Lord. So I am willing to act like a fool in order to show my joy in the Lord. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, but I will be held in honor of the girls you have spoken!" So Michal, the daughter of Saul, remained childless throughout her life."

What an example for us! He was the king, and he was willing to abandon his dignified persona to "show his joy in the Lord." Easter is definitely a time worthy of such a celebration. Everyday we live as the redeemed from our sin is, actually. I have often thought of the songs we sing, declaring we will dance and shout before the Lord, taken straight from the Psalms, and yet we do not dance, and we do not shout.

Why?

Are we unwilling, like Michal, to look undignified, or to appear foolish?

She was severely punished for this, by the way.

I was so blessed by this on Saturday night, and encouraged by the worship of others. I was singing on the Praise Team, so I was privy to the worship of everyone there, and it was beautiful. Thank you, Church, for encouraging me. That is just one reason why corporate worship is so essential to our faith.

Four Months Today!

I wait for the 6th of every month...it marks a special day. Every day, every month he's here gives us more legal standing. Today is four months! He arrived in our home on December 6th. That seems like a long time ago, because I'm having a hard time remembering life before him now. But I can't believe how fast he's growing! He is finally sitting up, and feeling rather proud of himself. If you haven't seen his dracula teeth, they're pretty funny! And he's got his top two teeth ready to bust through any minute. He's rolls and rolls of our sweet boy, and this smile lights up our house.
Keep praying for Treston to officially become a Bacak! We are in the homestretch of our waiting period- one more month to go! Woo-hoo! And we need your prayers. In one month, we can start taking steps toward adoption. We have no idea how long this process could take, or what it will be like. It is unchartered territory for us. (This is absolutely NOTHING like Justus' adoption.) But we love this beautiful boy! We can't imagine life without him now. We appreciate your prayers, and will throw a huge celebration, if God allows us to adopt him, come adoption day!

I Want My Life Back!!!

This guy represents pretty accurately how I've been feeling.
I've turned into the Grinch. I've been...
Sick.
Sicker than sick.
We presume it's just a yucky virus, but I think it's one that could be released by bio-terrorists. Like on 24.
This is the longest virus I've ever had.
This was not the weight loss plan I had in mind.
I just want my life back!!!
I have realized how very much I love my life. Wow, I am thankless!!
If I ever complain about my life again, please knock me out.
I'll deserve it.
Being healthy, energetic, and able to be a Mom and teacher to my four kiddos is such a blessing! Seeing my poor husband, who is a superhero, take over, with the help of Becky (also a superhero), and a few others, broke my heart. I love being a wife, Mom, and teacher! I want to do it everyday! Every day that I can get up and do my job is a beautiful day!
Everyday I get to wake-up and drink coffee,
read my Bible,
turn on Curious George for sleepy-eyed children,
fix breakfast,
teach a Bible Story at the table,
hear the sweet and sincere prayers of my little ones,
teach Math,
clean-up,
do dishes,
wipe noses,
change diapers,
tie shoes,
administer spankings,
read books and sing songs,
kiss their ow-ees,
teach about birds, and watch their eyes as they learn something new,
find pacifiers,
rock and sing,
lay down and rub backs at nap time,
cuddle up next to a little boy who will be grown up and too big to snuggle after I blink my eyes,
braid hair,
fold laundry,
kiss my husband and ask how his day was,
make something for dinner that I can't convince my kids to eat,
give baths,
watch Rusty tickle, chase, and wrestle as they giggle and run,
and put little p.j.ed kids in bed.
I want this life forever.
I am so happy to be out of bed and trying to re-claim this life that I love so much. I am so thankful for it!