Do we want Jax to be David Beckham?

Jax just finished his soccer season.
It was fun! It was interesting! It was entertaining!
But Jax wasn't that into touching the ball. He was really into socializing on the field. He wasn't into scoring goals (he didn't), but he was into smiling and waving to his fans on the sideline, giving them the thumbs up as the ball passed him by.
I love this boy!!! He has such a way of melting my heart.
Jax has played one season before, and it was pretty much the same.
He asked if he could play again, so we agreed. But I'm pretty sure he was solely into it for the snacks. Anytime anyone asks him about soccer, that's what he talks about. There were some pretty elaborate snacks last year when we played, so that could explain it.
I know that Jax is gifted by God. He will be really good at something, and it will be useful for the Kingdom. I don't know whether team sports is his thing. But I have observed the children's sports culture a bit, and it makes my stomach churn.
One game this season, we had a serious soccer Dad on the other sideline, coaching his son the entire game. He wasn't the team coach, just his son's personal coach. He yelled instructions the whole game, strategies, gave one-on-one pep talks at every break, and despite the fact that this kid scored about 16 goals on our little group of soccer misfits, he had to run plays with him on the field afterwards to correct his mistakes.
I'm not kidding.
This is the league for five-year-olds.
I don't think I was hiding my disghust very well. I felt sorry for this kid beyond words. I think we hugged Jax all the way to the car and told him how proud we were of him for having fun out there, and being a good sport.
I watched the poor boy look to his father's face when he did something good for the nod of approval, and did not get it.
I wanted to cry! And then chew this guy out! And then disband the soccer league until further notice!
I know this guy surely loves his son, but this was the worst possible way to show it.
It got my brain going fast. It's not something I haven't thought about before, but want to discuss further with other parents.
As Christians, what do we want for our kids?
Truly, what do we want?
There are some Sunday School answers here. But I think as God has grown me over years past, my answer has definitely changed.
If we could choose professional athlete, which seems to be the driving force behind so many American families, or missionary to the nations, which would we choose?
If we would say missionary, making his whole life about sharing the gospel, how are we expressing that goal into the translation of our time spent, words said, the "I'm so proud of you's", the activities we commit to, etc.?
I think looking at what I know about professional athletes, I'd rather them be anything else in the whole freaking world. It's scary. I think maybe we ought to ban sports in our home on the off-chance that they COULD become too good at them, and end up running dog fights and have many STD's.
(Obviously, those are two polar opposite choices. Our kids could be a million things in between that honor God and fulfill His purpose for their lives.)
I know I haven't finished thinking about this.
I don't think extra-curricular activities outside of the church are wrong! Of course! I don't think our kids enjoying activities they are passionate about is unspiritual!!! Quite the contrary!
Like Emma is in love with horses. She was born in love with horses. We let her start riding, granting her the joy of her heart, a little more than two years ago. It's been so perfect for her! The whole family goes together on Wed. afternoon and enjoys watching her. She's getting so good, and it's amazing to watch her skills progress.
When does it cross the line from that to crazy soccer Dad?
When do we parents lose control and perspective?
How much time is too much, especially when it gets to older kids, tournaments, weekend trips, etc?
When we choose sports over church on any given Sunday or weekend, what are we saying?
What do you guys think?
Parents and former children alike, what are your thoughts?

They're coming!

Oh, how I've missed them.
Just a year ago, I got hooked on the Girls, and I watched all six seasons available to me over a series of late nights where I just couldn't stop watching...the quick wit...the banter...so much coffee...the weather and seasons that are all too absent here...the beautiful hair! Could someone please do my hair like theirs? It's so dad-gum shiny!!!
I have waited and waited. By some sheer glorious miracle, I don't know how this series ends. I have one more season to go; season 7. I am incredibly impressed that no one has spilled the end to me. Not even a hint. (Way to go Amanda!) Will Lorelai end up with Luke? With Christopher?
I'll find out soon. Season 7 is released tomorrow, Tuesday the 13th. It's been reserved on my list on Netflix forever. Finally, the big day has come. I got the e-mail confirming it. Netflix...WONDERFUL NETFLIX...is sending them to my house on Wed. My super friendly mailman (called a man-mail by Justus) will put them in my mailbox in a incredibly exciting red envelope. Even the mailman knows we love the red envelopes! This will be my favorite one yet! After months of silence...months with no banter...no good hair...no coffee at Luke's...they'll be back. Right in my bedroom, with me tucked into bed, and my husband rolling over, with a complete lack of interest in these girls. That's so okay. They're coming over. I can't wait.

We're all adopted

We are in the midst of celebrating Treston's adoption. It's so great! I think we say his full name all the time, just for fun. We are celebrating that nothing could ever make him NOT a Bacak from now on...that he is in every way ours, just like if I had given birth to him myself...and even though we didn't know Treston existed just a year ago, God knew this before time began! It's big!

I've had many interesting discussions with strangers about adoption. We wear adoption on the outside of our family, so people who are interested in adoption or who are just plain curious ask us questions. It's always a great opportunity to bring up the Lord's name with someone who I other wise would never get a chance to talk to! But one of the most heartbreaking conversations took place a few years ago, before we got Treston, and Justus was a baby. I took my kids to McDonald's for breakfast before Emma's school. (Pre-homeschooling) Another Mom and her two boys were there too. Our kids were running around, playing together. She and her kids were black. My kids are white and brown, so they were all swirling together in the McDonalds play area. I love that! She was obviously curious though, and was doing the mega-staring thing. Finally she asked me if Justus was mine. I answered yes, and she asked me how? I told her he was adopted. She waited a minute, and then asked me "How long will he stay with you?" This question threw me off. No one had ever asked me that, and to tell you the truth, it stung a little. I kind of stammered, "Forever! He's ours forever!" She didn't seem to understand that. This really shook me up. I gathered up my kids after a moment and piled them into my mini-van and drove away, crying. I know this woman meant no harm, I just hated the idea that anyone could think that my kids were mine temporarily! That I might just give them back someday. Adoption is forever! Didn't everyone know that? The thought that it wouldn't be was apalling to my spirit as a Mom.

I love that God uses the actual word adopted to describe believers in the Bible. Adoption is forever, so the Bible's use of this word feels so good. When we commit our lives to him, we become His Sons and Daughters, permanently! Why would he use the word adoption? He didn't use a word that means foster care, or respit care or temporary provider, he said ADOPTION, FULL HEIRS, SONS. Doesn't everybody know that means forever? Evidently not, because there are still many schools of thought that assert that we can become a child of God, and then back our way out of it by messing up again. No matter what my kids do, whether they like it or not, they are Bacaks. They are Czech, kolache-eating, music-loving, Jesus-worshipping, Bacaks. Nothing can change that.
I've been dissecting Romans 8, a great chapter, where the word adopted is used. (In Romans, in the NIV, the word Sons or Sonship is used, but the root word is adopted.) You can find it in the New Testament at least four times. Here's a few:

Eph 1:5
5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure.
NLT

Rom 8:15
5 So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into his family — calling him "Father, dear Father."
NLT

Gal 4:5-6
God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.
NLT

I love that in Ephesians it says he always planned to adopt us, and it gave him great pleasure! (It gives us great pleasure too!)
In Romans it says we can call him, very intimately, Father, dear Father, just like our little ones call us by name, and we are their everything.
And in Galatians, it says he bought us. We too bought our adopted kids, but it was just money. God paid for us with His very own beloved Son, and He sacrificed Him on a cross. As parents, doesn't that mean something altogether new to us? It's unimaginable, how God loves us.
As we celebrate Treston's adoption, I want to celebrate something even bigger; all of our adoption as believers. I want every lost person to know they are available for adoption by the King of Kings! What could be better news than this?

You're Cool, Craig.

My friend Bethany always gives me useful information.
I just love her!
She told me about Craig's List.
You all probably know about it already, but I'm slow.
It's a local forum for buying and selling things...kind of like e-bay, but without the fees and no shipping issues. Everyone lives in your area!
That's brilliant!
My brother Robbie just bought a trampoline for his kids on it.
I have posted a few things on it already.
I want to buy the Star Wars trilogy on DVD for my boys for Christmas.
So I posted a WANTED on there. I'm also going to sell our train table.
I may just sell enough stuff around here that we MAKE money on Christmas this year!
Who knows?
My question is: Who's Craig?
Did he have this great idea?
Was he trying to sleep one night, but couldn't, because he had too much caffeine after 4pm, and it hit him!
Is he somehow making a profit off of this?
And why can I not have a brilliant idea like this when I can't sleep?
(Yes, the story about caffeine and not being able to sleep is really about me.)
The brilliant idea I'm waiting to hit me is how to attach socks together and wash them so that they never get lost.
Can you imagine?
One sock never wanders off into the black hole called Sock Funland beneath your house ever again.
Wouldn't I make millions?
Wouldn't you buy this, ladies?
Well, hats off to you Craig.
You're cool.

It's Back!

There are MANY wonderful things about Christmas time.
Celebrating Jesus- right at the top of the list!!!
But one of the little things that makes me happy is this creamer.
Peppermint Mocha.
Only available during the holidays.
I know, the fact that I look so forward to this in the morning speaks of my addiction to coffee. But I would like to propose that there are some addictions that aren't so bad!
Addicted to the Bible? Great!
Addicted to coffee so you can read the Bible every morning? Super!
And the Peppermint Mocha is out already at HEB!!!
Good news. I'm drinking some now. I love the holidays.

Halloween Fun!

We have had a great week! It started with our perfect adoption day! Then we did fun school activities and crafts on Wednesday, like a scarecrow craft, and Halloween math and reading activities off of Enchanted Learning. (a great web site! It requires a subscription to print off of it.)

We started our evening with Mummy Dogs. I got this recipe from an e-mail from a friend. The kids loved it, considering we recently studied Egyptians, Pharoahs, Mummies, etc.

Then we were off to trick-or-treat on our street! Emma and Jax literally ran from door to door!

Heather said he looks like an Anne Geddes picture. He does! How cute is this little lion?!

The little ones rode in the wagon, and Treston totally loved the ride along, as long as we didn't make him wear that hood. He wasn't fond of it.

It was great! Then we went to the Hendricks house for a little birthday/costume party. (Happy Birthday Megan Birkenfeld!) You can go to Heather's blog I'm sure for all those pics. Rusty and I went as characters from the show "House." (A doctor show.)
Wednesday was fun for my kids! Two things they love: costumes (which are worn daily around here) and candy (they would like to have daily.)
It was great fun!

It's Adoption Day!

Today is the day.
Today he wakes up with one name, and will go to bed with a new one.
Today, the law catches up with what's been done in our hearts for a long time.
Today is the day that we celebrate Treston, and what God has done in his life!
There has never been a party or gathering to celebrate Treston's birth.
Well, it starts today.
We might just celebrate for a few months straight.
Today almost feels like the day I give birth, as weird as that sounds.
Just like the day a baby is born from your body is the day that baby is born into your family forever...this is that day for us!
We want you to rejoice with us...we need you to rejoice with us!
I want a stinkin' "It's a Boy" sign in the yard!
Treston has belonged to us for a long time, but there was always that possibility that someone could take him from us...that he would not stay...that we would have to become fugitives and run to Mexico and live under the assumed names of Lance and Katherine-Zeta. (Those are the assumed names we chose.)
But those nagging possibilites end today. There is no other possibility, no other scenario, no other option, except Treston living as our son forever.
This feels so good. It's like, we can finally breathe deep. We can stop hoping, and revel in God's fulfillment of something wonderful.
What God has done, in Treston's life, and in our family, is more than I can articulate. I could never convey to you the thankfulness in our hearts to God for what He's done...to rescue Treston...to fill a hole in our family that we weren't even aware of a year ago...to faithfully be the Planner of our family in ways we didn't imagine...for taking us on a wild roller coaster ride of faith-building and clinging to Him, knuckles white, not sure what's around the next corner.
Today, we get to throw our hands up and scream! We get to bask in God's goodness to us. We get to share with ANYONE who will listen that God is faithful, He cares for the needy, He wants to fulfill our needs and desires! We could never have concocted this whole chain of events before this. But God does things we can't imagine to get us where He wants us.
My words are so inadequate so I will share a Psalm that has been a faithful companion to me. I have been meditating on it for months. Don't skim it! It's so good!

I will praise you, my God and King,and bless your name forever and ever. 2 I will bless you every day,and I will praise you forever. 3 Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise!His greatness is beyond discovery!
4 Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts. 5 I will meditate
on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles. 6 Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue;I will proclaim your greatness. 7 Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness;they will sing with joy of your righteousness.
8 The LORD is kind and merciful,slow to get angry, full of unfailing love. 9 The LORD is good to everyone.He showers compassion on all his creation. 10 All of your works will thank you, LORD,and your faithful followers will bless you. 11 They will talk together about the glory of your kingdom;they will celebrate examples of your power. 12 They will tell about your mighty deeds and about the majesty and glory of your reign. 13 For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom.You rule generation after generation.
The LORD is faithful in all he says;he is gracious in all he does. 14 The LORD helps the fallen and lifts up those bent beneath their loads. 15 All eyes look to you for help;you give them their food as they need it. 16 When you open your hand,you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in everything he does;he is filled with kindness. 18 The LORD is close to all who call on him,yes, to all who call on him sincerely. 19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;he hears their cries for help and rescues them. 20 The LORD protects all those who love him,but he destroys the wicked.
21 I will praise the LORD,and everyone on earth will bless his holy name forever and forever.

This is who God is. This is the God who deserves everything we've got. He near. He's a Provider. He satisfies us at just the right time with what we need.
He's been good to us, and we celebrate Him today!
We will stand before the judge, as a family, at 1:30. Treston will get a new name with a new birth certificate today.
Today he becomes TRESTON JEREMIAH BACAK.

Jeremiah 1:5 "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world."

God knew Treston before he was born. He knew he would be Treston Jeremiah Bacak. We believe He has set him apart for great things.
Thank you God!
And thank you, friends, for praying for him and sharing this journey with us.
Let the celebration begin!
It's Adoption Day!!!!

The Distribution of Justus

Each of the kids has a money jar.
They earn a few dollars allowance each week. They get birthday money, and they save it in their jar. (We started this because it was just getting too easy to steal their money when it was given them.) Now they save for things themselves. Like yesterday, we went to the Rennaissance Festival for School Days, and they each brought $10 out of their jar. They picked what they wanted to do with it, and when it was gone, it was gone.
But this picture shows how Justus has been viewing the distribution of the money jar. Emma had a birthday in Sept. and her jar was full. Justus' jar only had change. But suddenly one day, Emma's jar was completely empty, and his jar was full! Amazing! Usually, when Justus does something sneaky like this, like stealing the other kids' french fries or something, he leaves a little so it's not so obvious. He's brilliant! But this time, he just took it all! We had to have a little talk about this. Look at his face on the jar!? He even looks sneaky there! But this little guy keeps us entertained! When God harnasses his talents for good and not evil, he's going to do something AMAZING for the Lord!!!
I haven't updated everyone on his speech lately, but he's doing awesome! He is speaking so much and more clearly than ever! He still needs sign, but we are proud of how he is changing and even becoming more obedient. He is a joy to us! He is the comedian in the house, and says some of the funniest things! Everyday he tells me "When I wake up, I be a firefighter." Cute thing. Life is just too boring without a three-year-old in the house, you know?

Favorite items at HEB

Butternut Squash:
How I love it! It's by far my favorite vegetable, and it definitely does not get enough press! Many people who come to eat at my house say they've never had one! This is a travesty! It must stop! They are in season, and should be readily available at HEB. If you've eaten at my house, you've probably gotten my commercial for butternut squash, because I love it so!
Just a few tips: they can be expensive, just so you know. They are EXTREMELY dense, sort of like a sweet potato, and I am a wimp, so Rusty cuts them for me, or at least gets them started, a lot of the time. (He's the bomb.) I use them many different ways. I cut them up into pieces and put them in my steamer with some broccoli. Serve that with some grated cheddar cheese on top! So good! I also but it in my Chicken Pot Pie. It totally makes it! I just recently put it in my Crock Pot Chicken Noodle Soup. So you can do lots of things with it. If you use it in something like that, make sure you cook it a long time, or saute it a little before-hand because it takes them a while to get soft, because they're so dense. I have a recipe, if you're interested, for a Butternut Squash and Sausage soup where you puree the squash. That might sound weird...but it's really awesome!
Go get yourself a butternut squash. But leave some for me.


Bread Machine Ready-made mixes:
These are brilliant. Seriously. You can simply pour the contents of the box and some water into your bread machine, turn it on, and voila! Your house is filled with the smell of bread for hours, and that is worth it all to me. I feel so domestic when I bake bread, and all I did was pour the box in!!! I love fresh bread. I buy the Hawaiian bread mix often. It's so good.


Canned Chicken (in water, NOT oil!):
This might sound kind of gross...I was scared of it for years...but it's become a dear friend to me. Erin and I like to whip up chicken salad using this just about every Friday. All you do is mix the chicken with 1-2 T of mayo, and add some sliced almonds, grapes cut in half, and a little sugar. This is so good! Erin likes it on toasted bread, and I like it with Ritz Chips (kind of like crackers, but less crumbly.) This is so easy, and so good! I make it for lunch company (Shannan Feldman!) and when we go to the pool.
Believe it or not, I actually experimented and put the canned chicken in my Crock Pot Chicken Noodle Soup to see what would happen. It was great! I totally skipped the time consuming step of boiling and cutting up chicken, and just put it in the crock pot, and it was so easy!!! Again, this probably sounds gross, but it's just so easy and good I have to pass it along.
These are some of my favorite items on the Bacak family grocery list. I would really like to know some of y'alls!

Fall Family Fun Day 2007!

Last Saturday was our long-awaited, most festive, Fall Family Fun Day! This has to be one of my favorite Bacak traditions. This was the fourth annual FFFD, and yes, it's known as FFFD!
We start with a trip to the pumpkin patch. There are no better pictures than pumpkin patch pics. The color + cute kids = precious.
Every Bacak child gets to pick their favorite pumpkin to take home.
They look at them, touch them, sit on them, talk to them...this is serious! You only get to pick one!
Then we take them home and we carve them. Yes, the kitchen is covered in pumpkin guts, and it's pretty gross, but the result is spectacular. Rusty is the designated super-carver, because he's gifted, and because it's against my religion to touch pumpkin innards.
Then...my favorite part...because it involves food...CARAMEL APPLES!!!
By the fourth year, we have just about perfected this. It's super yummy, but it's also glue-like. We brush the children's teeth three times that night. We budget more for dental bills each year because of this one day.
But it's so fun!
This year we even had a FFFD pumpkin parade, put on by Jax and Emma. They are too cute. We think every special day deserves a parade around here. They made banners, homemade instruments, and chanted F-F-F-D!
There were so many cute pictures I made my first slideshow. I feel almost as cool as Lynsey Kramer, who has super cool slideshows on her blog all the time.
I hope you enjoy it!
Long Live FFFD!!!!!

Scriptural Rebuke from Emma

My seven-year-old rebuked me with scripture yesterday.
It was awesome.
We were searching for the lost remote. This is a constant problem in our house. Why are remotes so fascinating to babies and toddlers?
We just got a new satellite system (saving us a lot of money each month versus the cable thing) and if you lose the remote, you cannot operate the satellite. So when I couldn't find it, I was kind of annoyed. I was muttering worried exclamations about not finding it, and searching everywhere.
Emma stopped me and said "Remember the verse, Mom? Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything?" (Phil. 4:6)
I love this girl! She was not afraid to stop me in my tracks with scripture! I was getting worried, and thus sinning. I told her she was absolutely right, and I was absolutely wrong, thanking her for the reminder.
So of course, I did pray, and of course, we not only found the remote shortly after (in a random desk drawer ???), but also found a lost library book I had been stressing over. So I went back in to the kids and "thanked Him for all he had done." (the rest of Phil. 4:6) We praised God for listening to our every prayer and taking care of our needs.
God is good, and hearing truth come out of my little girl's mouth, is SO beautiful!

"The Line"

I want to continue the discussion about sexual purity and dating. It's been so good and thought provoking!
I want to discuss this idea of being physically involved while dating.
I said in a previous post that I want to throw up when I think about the fact that I kissed or held hands with any other boy besides Rusty. I truly mean that. I had no right to be that close to someone else's husband, nor did anyone have the right to my husband.
Where did we get this idea that we can try people out physically for a while?
From the Bible...hold on let me get my Bible...NO!
In fact, everything I can possibly find in the Bible pertaining this subject says RUN, FLEE, HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH sexual temptation. Don't flirt with it, don't see how close you can get to sex, get yourself going like a freight train and then try to slam on the brakes. (How's that for an analogy?)

2 Timothy 2:22 says "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust."

1 Cor. 6:18 says "Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does."

We can not be running away, and flirting with it at the same time. Girls, I think all married women can testify for you that we now understand that the process of sexual stimulation was not meant to be stopped. (I told you that we were going to have to get specific and embarrassing if we were going to talk about this!)
And a valid point was brought up, that we don't want to instill in our kids the idea that sex and sexual feelings are bad. They are not! They are meant for something so beautiful, sweet, and holy! But when we allow dating relationships where physical involvement occurs, they will soon learn that everytime they engage physically, they get into trouble, they sin, in thought and in actions, and they feel they are slaves to those feelings. They toe "the line" and that line starts moving, inch by inch, and the failure rate is through the roof! THEN, those sexual feelings are bad, and they are the enemy. That is NOT what I want my kids to understand about sexuality. I want them to know that all of it, ALL OF IT, is meant for their joy and intimacy in marriage, and it is a gift from our Creator. I feel like so much of the struggles with sex in the early years of marriage that I am counseling girls through is trying to de-program their minds from this mentality.
This idea that there is a "line" that we must tip-toe up to, try desperately not to cross, so often in vain, is not of God. He never said we ought to toe the line. He said RUN. Remember? He said FLEE! Right?
So where did we get this idea?
From the world.
It's SO from the world, and we have been trying to stuff the world's ideas about dating into the Bible and make it fit, and it doesn't.
If you are in college, and you are physically involved with someone, I beg you to stop. Nothing, and I seriously mean nothing, good will come from it. If you have children and you are letting them have boyfriends/ girlfriends and they spend alone time together, I beg you to stop them!
I am not referring to sex. I'm referring to all of it. I know you might think this is crazy, but I am pretty sure it's just crazy by the world's standards, not by God's standards.
Whose standards are we going to live by?
Who is ever going to meet their mate, tell them that they've never made out with anyone, and they won't make out with them, come to their wedding day and night with 0 experience and feel bad about it? If by God's grace, that could happen with my children, PRAISE THE LORD! I can't imagine how joyful that day would be! And if that doesn't happen, Rusty and I better know for certain that we did everything we were supposed to do to guide them in God's perfect way for them. We know it's up to them to follow.
On the other hand, to play with fire and be physically intimate with people who in no way belong to you, so many negative things can come from it, I can make you a list as long as my arm and give you specific names, numbers, and e-mail contacts to prove it.
It's not just my own experience. It's not just my opinion. The longer I work with college girls and engaged couples, the stronger and stronger I feel about this.
Here is a blog with some great discussion on this topic for you to check out if you're interested.
www.notbeneficialforanything.blogspot.com
Thoughts anyone?

No Dating- Are You Crazy???

I started to leave the world's longest comment in response to the excellent discussion and questions raised on my last post here about "True Love Waits", and then remembered...this is my blog. I could just start a new post!
I know I've opened a door here with the no-dating thing...Obviously, I don't have all the answers to this question! If I did, I wouldn't have posted the question on my blog!!! But here are our thoughts.
It's not a topic I think is easily tackled. It's one that we have been thinking about for a couple of years, and really examining in the scriptures and in my own life. I've also heard some amazingly wise things from people at my church who have been thinking about this longer than me. It's hard to summarize here, but here's a few questions.
Really and truly, honestly, are you glad that you dated anyone besides your husband? That you gave your heart to them? Kissed them? Were intimate with them in any way (emotionally or physically)?
Obviously, as many have shared, those who were sexually intimate, even with their own husbands before marriage, have shared that they wish they hadn't been.

Why do we allow high schoolers to date? What's the purpose? To find a mate? Well, we wouldn't allow them to get married in high school, so that's silly. To learn how to form relationships?

I fully believe they can develop those skills within the context of good friendships, like we had in our youth group.
My husband never had a serious girlfriend before me. He was in no way ill-equipped to be a husband. He had never given his heart to any other girl, and his dating experience was very casual. He came to our relationship with almost 0 baggage.
I, on the other hand, had bounced from one serious relationship to another. I had a super-serious relationship in college that was incredibly damaging to me emotionally. I came to our marriage with TONS of that baggage. My sexual purity was intact, but I had been way too close to the many boyfriends, and that produced consequences for me emtotionally, and also for Rusty.
I WISH I HAD NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND BEFORE RUSTY!!!
Even though when I first started thinking about this, I wanted to quickly run to bat for this idea of American, Christian dating, when I stopped to examine my reasons, they were faulty. I truly do regret all of it. I think having friendships with guys before marriage would have equipped me fine to relate to my husband when I met him.
Also, every time I had a boyfriend, and then later a break-up, it was ALL a distraction from my relationship with the Lord. It did NOT draw me closer to the Lord, it pulled me away every time. EVERY TIME.
And the time I wasted!!! I should have been focusing on God wholeheartedly, and spending all my free time with my girlfriends, like you Laurie, going to Taco Bell and the $2 movies in Tomball!!! (ha!) I regret that I wasted time on boys in high school and college that were distracting, temptations to sin, and that's it.
I didn't learn anything valuable from those relationships, because I continued to make the same mistakes over and over. I was not lost. I was saved, and I truly, truly had a passion for the Lord. But I was not wise. I did not make wise decisions. And I regret how hurt I was, how I hurt others, and when I think of holding hands or kissing a boy that wasn't my husband, I want to throw-up! I shouldn't have done that! Seriously, it turns my stomach. Where in scripture do we get the idea that trying other people on first is okay? It's so totally acceptable to the world, and we clean it up a bit for the Christian version, but I think the results are often tragic. Again and again, I hear stories like these lovely ladies have shared about being a Christian couple, who fully intended to wait for marriage, had the ring and everything, but were given the freedom to date, and they were sucked in by the powerful tornado that is sexual sin.
As for me, I just felt like I had been beated down my tornado winds by the emotional damage and various forms of sin dating produced in my life.
We could allow our high schoolers to date within certain confines, but why? If dating is to find a mate, they can't do that in high school, and I don't think they need the practice.
I want them to develop real friendships with guys and girls alike, go out in groups and have fun, and be free when they are a little older to find their mate without the baggage.
Should we trust high school guys and girls to be alone together?
No. I think everyone knows that is probably a temptation too great for them, whether we like that truth or not.
I don't want to communicate distrust to my wonderful kids, but I want them to know that dating was altogether unwise and we are going to protect them the best way we know how.
We counsel couple after couple in Countdown who are struggling physically, and the bottom line is they just can't be alone together, and they can't kiss without it progressing.
So Rusty and I HAVE TO listen to this, and look at the scripture about running, fleeing, having nothing to do with sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6, 2 Tim. 2), and practically applying that for our kids, as well as guarding their hearts (Proverbs 4:23), and not arousing love before it so desires. (SOS) High School is not the right time. It's arousing love before the appropriate time. I truly believe all physical intimacy should be kept for marriage, and that is part of keeping the marriage bed pure. (1 Cor. 6)
Emotionally I want to protect my sons and daughter from giving their hearts away to anyone before God brings them their mate.
Of course, I know that if my kids are not on board with this, they could rebel, they could hide relationships from us, they could be sneaky. We don't want that. But I'm encouraged by the fact that I see families like our pastor's family who has teenagers who have just known all along there would be no high school or casual dating. I can't attest to their every feeling about it, but they seemed to have accepted that fine and those kids are serving the Lord and the church wholeheartedly, making great friends, and waiting for the right time in their lives.
My sister has survived her high school years without any boyfriends, and I'm SO GLAD@

What does the right time look like?
Now granted, again, if I had all the answers to these questions, I wouldn't have posted the question on my blog. So these are just the thoughts of Rusty and I, what we've observed among some wise families and college students we know, and how we are applying the Word to the idea of courtship.
But dating for the purpose of finding a mate, when you are of the right age and stage in life, is intentional. It is incredibly purposeful. There should be a lot of observing and getting to know one another before a guy even pursues a girl for the purpose of marriage. I see college students at our church hang out together, serve the church together, go to movies, go to dinner, watch the Office together, WHATEVER, in groups and really get to know one another before a relationship is pursued. (Instead of starting a dating relationship and THEN getting to know the person.) And then they are purposeful, and wise about not spending alone time together, watching movies in their apartments with the lights out and no roommates home. STUPID!!! They are careful not to treat the relationship like a mini-marriage, which is how I treated just about every relationship I had, so that if they determine they are not right for one another, they don't have to go through a mini-divorce. I've actually seen this! When they decide not to date anymore, despite the disappointment, I've seen them remain friends, and still be able to stay in the same church and circle of friends, because they haven't been physically entangled, and they haven't named their kids together, and put down a deposit on the church.
I don't know all the answers to this.
What if you meet and live in different cities? I don't know.
What if, what if, what if? I don't know.
I just know there is great wisdom being exhibited by these young people that I desperately wish I'd had an ounce of when I was their age.
It's so encouraging! And I want that for my kids! There's no reason for them to make the same mistakes we made. That would be foolish.
I do think that training their minds about dating, marriage, and the wonderful gift of sex, needs to start super early, so I want to hear from more women who have thoughts on this now.
Thanks everyone, for engaging in this discussion! Let's keep it going!!!

True Love Waits- But How?

We went to an adoption training at New Life over a week ago. It takes days upon days to process all the information you get, and sift through the emotions, even though this was our fourth training. (It's a spectacular training! I wish every adoptive family could experience it!)
One question keeps hovering in my mind and it won't go away. There was a beautiful, Godly woman there who spoke to us as a birth-grandmother. Her teenage daughter had become pregnant, and she shared the anguish she felt, as a Christian family, having had prayed for her daughter's purity all of her life. Her description of her brokenness and heartbreak was so moving! She shared about their process of choosing adoption, and the beautiful thing God morphed this heartbreak into. But there was one question I really wanted to ask her, even though it was not the appropriate place or time. My question would have been:

"What would you have done differently to shepherd your daughter's heart towards God's perfect plan for her life concerning sexual purity, and how would you have protected her differently?"

Does any other mother of young children want to know this? I'm not just curious. I'm desperate to know. Of course, #1 will be for our children to know and love the Lord with their whole hearts! I know this! But there are plenty of good, Christian young people who are falling into the deep slippery slope of sexual sin. None of us are above it! So as a parent, what can we do, starting now, to wisely guide and protect our children. Not in fear, but in true, Godly wisdom.
I want to hear from Moms. I told my Mom today she has incredible wisdom to share on this. She promised to write about it soon on her blog for us all to read. My Mom is not only a mother of 5 grown children, but she has been working with New Life for almost 20 years, and has helped countless (I wish we could count) women through crisis pregnancies, from all different spiritual backgrounds. She really gets to know them and their families, so she sits in an incredibly unique position. Of course, add to that 30+ years in the ministry alongside my Dad. Wow! So she will speak to us soon about this, but I want to hear from anyone who has Godly wisdom to share on this topic!
Speak up! What are you doing, or have done, or have done all wrong, that we need to know! Young women, what do you wish your parents had done differently? We need to know! Please don't bash your parents, or shift blame, but will you help us learn what would have been beneficial to you concerning dating and sexual purity? I have four precious little people in my house that God has entrusted to me. I have been clinging to God's Word on this topic, and have begun to draw some conclusions about what we think this should look like, emulating God's Word and not the world. But I want to hear from others. I want older women to speak into our lives! If you know an older woman, send her this link so she can share with us. If you have a spectacular Mom like mine, e-mail her this link. Thanks!

The Best Salad Dressing Ever!!!!

Here is a recipe worth trying! I haven't made it yet, but I had it at our Seay Family Christmas last year, and my sister-in-law, Lisa, made it. (Married to Chris.) We all stopped and worshiped Jesus when we ate this. This is what Christmas family gatherings should consist of! Anyway, I immediately wanted the recipe, but didn't get it until today. This dressing has been on my mind all year. I'm not kidding. I know I have problems, but it's just so stinkin' good! So here's the recipe. It's super healthy, from the Vegan side of the family.
Just so you know, it's green, and that makes it even more fun. I wish I had a visual aid of it to show.
Try it, and thank me later you guys! I can't wait to make it myself.

Creamy Italian Dressing
3/4 c. olive oil
1/4 c. raw apple cider vinegar
2 or 3 cloves garlic, peeled
2 T. fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 t. sea salt
1/2 c. fresh basil
1/4 c. fresh oregano
1/3 c. pure water
1/3 c. pine nuts
In a high speed blender, combine all of the
ingredients and blend until smooth. Remove any foam
that rises to the top. For a lighter version, omit
the water and pine nuts.
Lisa said you can give it a Mexican flair if you want to substitute the basil for cilantro and lime juice for lemon juice. That sounds good too!

Fellow Bloggers! Lend me your ears, lend me your tupperware!

God is doing a work in our hearts about missions.
Our church is being challenged like never before to look beyond ourselves here in America, where we are overfed physically and spiritually, and ask ourselves what role we play in sending the gospel out to the nations.
I have been wanting to involve my kids in our support of mission work. We have done that by making them very globally aware (learning about all of the continents, and the places around the world where people live in poverty and where people don't know Jesus), and by praying for missionaries and occasionally sending them care packages, put together by them.
But I have wanted us to do something more as a family that requires more than sending checks and sending our Daddy on mission trips. I want my kids to put thought and action into something...
This is the perfect way to do that!
My brother is involved with this organization, Living Water.
He goes on these mission trips where they dig wells and bring clean water to a community that has none, and then they bring the gospel message to them.
This is awesome, to see they meet their physical need for clean water, and then bring them the water that Jesus said will cause you to never thirst again!
I can imagine, after you do something like that for a community, you have their attention.
Chris' kids have done some fund-raising on their own for Living Water, and I thought that would be great for my kids too!
Our pastor just returned from India, and he said it only takes $1,000 to dig a well for a community that needs it there.
This is something I want our family to be apart of!
I watched this video from the website. I actually didn't know that the music was my brother's song, and my brother Chris is in it, when I clicked on it, so that is pretty cool. (Chris is the one with the scruffy goatee.)
It's short, so take a moment to see the people in Nicaragua revel in clean water.
Then I will tell you our game plan, and how I need your help!

Okay, so our plan is to make homemade salsa, and sell it to neighbors, etc.
We have had kids in our neighborhood hitting us up for whatever they're selling for years. And being the sucker I am for the cuties, I almost always buy something. Year after year, we buy wrapping paper, popcorn tins, and raffle tickets for stuff we desperately do NOT need so that the PTA flourishes, they get new band uniforms, and soccer teams can offer scholarships. That is all fine and good, but it's my kids' turn to hit up the neighborhood, and I want it to be for something eternally valuable!
So door-to-door we will go, selling salsa, and our goal is $1,000. If we sell them for $10, this means we need to sell 100 of them. This is going to take time for me to make that much salsa, obviously, but we hope to make it!
What would cut our costs cosiderably is this...if you could donate to me little storage containers, then I wouldn't have to buy jars to put it in. I plan on using the little Glad containers that we get when we buy deli turkey. Do y'all have those around your house? If so, and you live near me, would you mind collecting some for me and sending them my way? That would help the kids and I a ton!
Also, if you'd like to buy some salsa, that would help too!
We are excited about this opportunity. My dream is for the kids and I to someday to go on one of these trips. I know my brother goes frequently. How amazing would that be? I pray that this will cultivate a heart for missions and for those in need in my children as well. I pray God will move in them as He is moving in us.
Who will be able to resist my four adorable, little ones, pulling their wagon of salsa to their door? Hopefully, no one!

Treston Update

Treston eating his 1st birthday cake.


Treston taking some of his first steps.

God has done a wonderful thing!
He is carrying to completion the good work he started in giving Treston to this family.
Brief recap: Treston came to our home last December as a foster-to-adopt baby. This means his parental rights had not been terminated or relinquished. But New Life was looking for a foster situation that could very well be permanent. God spoke clearly to us that this was His plan, even though we didn't know if we'd have him for a week, or for forever. (There's a big descrepency in those options.) We stepped out in faith, and asked God to give us his heart for the fatherless. Well, loving and bonding with Treston was absolutely effortless! Our whole family was completely taken with him from Day 1. We have been longing to make him fully ours...for the law to catch up with what had already happenned in our hearts...and we've been waiting, waiting, and waiting.
Friday was our day in court. A judge here in Brazos County would finally hear our case and decide what would be best for Treston.
We have been praying and fasting as we approached this day. We have had to give Treston to Him in a way you can't imagine unless you have had the threat of a child being removed from you. It's unthinkable. But God continues to remind me that not one of my children belongs to me. They are His, and He loves them more than I do. We have soaked up the scriptures about how God cares for the fatherless and the orphans. We have been learning to trust Him, and put our hope in no one else! I could share with you countless scriptures that we have clung to...Jeremiah 17:5-8, Phil. 4:6-7, Psalm 10:12-18, Psalm 127:3-5, James 1:27.
Friday came, and we were ready.
I had one of those moments, as Rusty and I were walking up to the courthouse that I knew I would never forget. We were walking, silently, gripping each other's hands. I felt the enormity of this day. Our lives were about to change.
I don't want to reveal too much about Treston's case or his story, but I want you to know that God did a wonderful thing in that courtroom. He moved. In less than 30 minutes, the judge ruled in favor of Treston staying with us.
We walked out of the courtroom, almost speechless, misty-eyed, amazed!
It was done!
All we have to do now is wait for our next court date, and that will be our most joyful adoption day! We will go as a family before the judge and legally change his name with a new birth certificate and all. He will be a full-fledged Bacak, legal and all!
That sounds weird to me...he feels so much the same as my other kids, why doesn't he have our last name yet? God has truly knit our hearts together as mother and son.
I'm here to testify, if you wonder how you could love a child you haven't given birth to like this, YOU CAN! There is nothing in me, not even a speck of my heart that feels differently about him. He is our baby, and God planned him for this family before time began.
Tonight at church, I was so overwhelmed at what He's done!!! We sang "How Great is our God" and He is so great, there is no offering of worship and thanksgiving big enough to express that to Him! I practically ran to the front, kneeled at the altar, and wept, with my hands raised as high as I could get them. Our God is good! He has gone to great lengths to save Treston, and fill a hole in our family we once didn't even know was there. He does not with hold good things from us. He has given us the gift of this little life to point towards Him.
We are praising God and giving him all the glory for this good work!
Please pray for Treston's birthmom, her salvation, healing, and for a potential opportunity for us to minister to her.
I hope to post adoption party pics very soon. We are ready to celebrate this baby who has not yet been celebrated! It is time!!! We will finally get to dedicate him at church. We will finally send out adoption announcements. What a joy!
Praise God for Treston, and for what He has done in his life already! I can't fathom the big plans He must have for his life!

Justus and Red Nail Polish

These two things are not a good combination.
Our little firefighter Justus really does love red, so of course he would want to paint with red nail polish.
And he did.
He painted his face, his head, and mostly his hair.
But that wasn't enough.
He had to paint his brother too!
Treston's head and face were brightly painted as well.
When the little bandit was caught, Erin and I went to scrubbing them.
We scrubbed and scrubbed.
Justus' hair still has red highlights, and Treston's scalp has some large, fading spots of red.
Of course we tried nail polish remover, but have you ever tried to get nail polish off of hair and the scalp? Not easy.
I couldn't write this yesterday. It wasn't funny yet.
Erin and I knew, as we scrubbed our little brown, painted-red people that it would be funny eventually. Just not yet.
Rusty called, and he asked why I sounded frustrated. I explained. He laughed. I told him "it's not funny yet!"
Amanda called, and then she laughed. It still wasn't funny yet!
So much of what Justus does will eventually be funny, but it takes a while.
And I'm puzzled as to why Treston sits still and lets him do these things to him?
Last week, for example...
I walked into the playroom, and saw large marks written on Treston's forehead.
I said "Who wrote on Treston?"
Justus, while holding a pen in his hand, shrugged his shoulders and said "I dunno." (not exactly in those words, but with the intonation implying it.)
This is not a good sign for future mischief ahead.
If Treston is going along for the ride, we are in big trouble.
I think we need to teach him to tattle, soon and often.
Just never a dull moment.
At least the carpet didn't get it. Justus had perfect aim.

1 Peter 2:2-3

"You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you can grow into the fullness of your salvation. Cry out for this nourishment as a baby cries for milk, now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness."

We read this verse in the "Living By the Book" class that Rusty is teaching on Sunday nights, and it struck me anew.
I love that the Lord continually uses similies and metaphors that are meaningful to mothers! This one is incredibly meaningful.
For mothers of young children, you know EXACTLY what it's like to have a hungry, crying baby.
I'll describe it for you younger ladies.
Hungry, crying babies are single-minded. They are desperate. They cannot be distracted or moved. Nothing will make the crying stop or soothe them besides MILK! If you are nursing you better get yourself in position and get your clothes off as fast as you can, because that baby needs to EAT! (Also because your milk is dropping because you hear your baby crying, and if you were like me, you are already soaking wet, but that is so off the point.)
A really hungry baby will send you into a frenzy to get them fed and in a hurry. The sound of their cry is so urgent, and even the sweetest, most docile babies will become super demanding when they are hungry! You can try giving them something else...a pacifier, some water, turn on their mobile, walk and bounce and sing, and do tricks on your head...nothing works! You cannot satisfy that baby with anything but the real thing! And that baby is right. He needs milk. Nothing else will do.
And babies who are good feeders will grow right before your eyes! They will literally wake-up looking bigger than when you put them down the night before. Take Treston, who was 6 weeks early. Anybody who has seen him would not guess that in a million years. Why? Because the boy likes to eat! He has been nourished!
Peter is saying here that we should be exactly like that!
We should wake-up starving for His Word each day.
I should not be distracted by a load of laundry that needs to be started, something that needs to be cleaned, lesson plans that need to be looked at, and e-mails not yet returned when I wake-up in the morning.
We should be SINGLE-MINDED. We should be starving for His Word! We should be desperate to grow.
Because a baby who is not growing is a very serious and alarming problem. It should also be serious and alarming if we are not growing in the fullness of our salvation, as Peter puts it.
I wake-up every morning when it's still dark outside because I have an appointment with God. But I want to be sure that I am desperate and as focused a hungry newborn baby. Many times I am not. I want to grow as fast as Treston has! Wouldn't that be amazing? I want to devour His Word like a hungry baby devours his milk when he finally gets it.
Because I have tasted the Lord's kindness, and it is SO GOOD!

Bacak Birthday Cake

Italian Cream Cake with cream cheese icing! This was my wedding cake, and my all-time favorite, tried and true cake to bake. I made this for Emma's birthday last week/ HOPE group, and got some requests for the recipe so here it is. (Pics above) My grandmother says that every good cake has 5 eggs in it. I believe her. She will use 5 eggs and a cup of buttermilk on a regular box cake mix, and it's so much better!
This cream cheese icing is good on anything! I love this stuff!

Italian Cream Cake

1/2 c Crisco
1/2 c margarine
2 c sugar
5 eggs
1 c buttermilk
2 c flour
1 t baking soda
1 t salt

Cream together Crisco and margarine. Then add sugar and eggs, one at a time. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt in a separate bowl. Add flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to the other mixture. Bake at 350 for 30 min. in 2 or 3 cake pans. (A little less time for 2 layers.) Make sure you use Crisco and flour on your cake pans, younger girls! I learned this the hard way when I first started baking!

Cream Cheese Icing

8 oz. block cream cheese, softened
1 stick margarine
1 t vanilla
1 box powdered sugar

Mix together in mixer until smooth. This will easily ice a 2 layer cake, but it's stretching it for a three.

Happy Birthday Emma! 7 Things I love about her...

7 years...7 freaking years! Where did they go? I could not possibly have a seven-year-old. And yet this articulate little girl with two front teeth missing is here, and I can hardly believe it!
There's something about your first baby...it's not that you love them any more than the others, it's just that you learned how to love as a parent starting with them. I remember the day I brought her home, and was rocking her in our sweet little yellow glider, nursing her, marveling at her, and crying. Rusty came in and asked me "What's wrong?" and I simply answered, like a blubbering, hormonal new Mom, "I just love her so much!!!"(sob, sob) God taught me so much about love through her. I learned that God's love is unfathomable. I loved her so much instantly, and God's love for her far surpassed that! I couldn't wrap my tiny mind around that. I also learned and appreciated suddenly how much my parents' loved me. Wow! I didn't really get that before Emma's birth.
I watched the video last night of the days before and after Emma's birth with her. We got to take in the moments just after delivery, when she came into the world. Priceless footage. (No, there was no footage of the actual delivery. I didn't scar her for life or anything.) She got to watch the first time Rusty and I crowded around her with tears in our eyes, sleepless, exhausted, in pain (well, I was; not so much Rusty), and completely oblivious to anything but her. She loved hearing about the details of bringing her home. It was great. What a day to celebrate. I came through a 40+ hour labor with her, and yet nothing else mattered. God brought us such a precious gift.
We had no idea who'd she be. I never could have dreamed up this crazy, unique little person. So here's my top 7 things I LOVE about our Emma:

1. She knows more about animals than I do. Seriously. Being her teacher is challenging. She thinks every unit study we take on is unbelievably fascinating. From dinosaurs, to Mayan culture, to presidents. It doesn't matter. She will read every library book I bring home, and then weave all of that into her imaginary world in which she lives. Like this week, we're studying the Mayans. She created her own Mayan costume out of butcher paper and feathers, for fun. She creates her own assignments for her work that are far more fascinating than the ones I come up with. Her creativity and love for learning make her so fun!


2. She is beautiful and talented on a horse. She has been riding for over 2 years now, and it's a sight to behold. She is AT HOME on a horse, and always has been. It's amazing to me.

3. She says "best" all the time, in place of the word but or except...or just whenever.

4. She lives in an imaginary world in which she is always some sort of animal. Always.

5. Her heart belongs to the Lord. She begs for more and more Bible stories. She eats them up, and stores them in her heart and mind. Her prayers are precious and honest. She loves Jesus!

6. Her very best friend is her brother, and she is pleased to have him with her all the time, co-joining their imaginary worlds. She is a super big sister, and adores all babies! She's going to be an awesome Mommy someday!

7. She can climb a tree much higher than is probably safe. She can't resist a good climbing tree. I love that!

I said I'd stop at 7, so I will. But all that to say, we love you Emma! You are unbelievably special, and we cannot wait to see how God grows you into a woman who loves and fears God with her whole heart, and serving Him with her life. You are a blessing to your Dad and me! Happy Birthday!

Ross King's new CD "Perhaps I've Said Too Much"

We just got Ross King's new CD, and I can't wait to wear it out!
But I have to share the one song I've heard from it already called "Home".
It's about adoption, and it is amazing!
I was standing in Heather's kitchen on the "High School Musical 2" Dance-a-thon night with junior high girls. (See Heather's blog for the pics!) The squealing was constant, and very high-pitched. I was in the kitchen helping to serve the pizza and cookies, and Heather warned me to find a quiet place to listen to this song so I could cry my eyes out. I knew the song was great by what she had told me, but feeling quite composed, I stood right there in the kitchen and listened to it, like an IDIOT! The floodgates opened and I could hardly stop them! I think Aaron must have thought I was having some sort of break-down until he heard the song I was listening to, and gave the "oh", understanding nod. As an adoptive Mom, this song says everything I would want to say if I were a gifted songwriter, like Ross.
Go to www.independentbands.com to purchase the CD, or download it from itunes. (Make sure you have "Give Yourself Away" by Robbie Seay while you're there, k?)
This is music worth buying, people!

New and Upcoming Theory About "What Happenned to the Dinosaurs?"

This past week we learned about dinosaurs in our little homeschool. What a fun unit! So the kids learned about extinction, and about the two main theories that exist concerning why the dinosaurs became extinct. I had them come up with their own theory and draw a picture of it, and this is what Jax told me:

What do YOU think might have happenned to the dinosaurs?

I think the pirates shooted at the sun, and the sun came in the water, and the light was burned out. So they had to sleep every time, and they can't breathe, so they DIED, and were stinct. (extinct)

I'm Still Learning...

If you read my post earlier this week about Psalm 19 "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you"...I'm still learning about this.
I thought I'd invite you in, just in case you don't have this thing down yet either.
The verse that broke me this week was Ephesians 4:29.

"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everyhting you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

Just before this, in verses 26&27 it says
"And don't sin by letting anger gain control of you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil."

As if that's not enough, let's add Matthew 5 to it; Jesus' teaching about anger.

21 "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.' 22 But I say, if you are angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the high council. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.

I have never considered myself an angry person. I certainly don't consider myself someone who uses foul or abusive language. So I have never let these verses have their full impact on me.
God spanked me with them this week.
There are times I get so frustrated with my disobedient little one, that I feel angry. I don't throw things. I don't hurt people. I don't cuss, so I should be okay, right?
WRONG. I let that frustration, which turns into anger, come seeping out of me and onto my children, and it's poisonous. My tone is ugly. I say things that are NOT an encouragement to anyone. I throw myself a pity party. (It's NOT a fun party!) I feel utterly exasperated, and all my children know it. And I feel a little justified, because my job is really hard right now with this one! He's exceptionally rebellious! It's ridiculous how much time I'm spending on discipline with him each day for the same offenses over and over again! (That's the pity party...but wait...)
God has been speaking to me...I'm so glad. I loathe this sinful stuff in me.
First, I realized I am a parent who looks nothing like God, as a parent.
I am exceptionally rebellious.
It's ridiculous how many times God has to teach me the same lessons! Same story, a year later, six months later, a week later, 10 minutes later!
I am exasperating!!!

But how does God love me, as my Father?
I read the Psalms, like Psalm 145.
v.8-9
"The Lord is kind and merciful,
slow to get angry, full of unfailing love.
The Lord is good to everyone.
He showers compassion on all his creation."

v.13b
"The Lord is faithful in all he says;
he is gracious in all he does."

The Psalms speak constantly of his unfailing, unwavering love. Faithfulness is his character. Patience is just who He is. He is merciful and compassionate. He loves me without condition. He disciplines me for my good, and because he loves me, not out of exasperation with me.
I kept praying for God to make me more patient with this exasperating child, whom I love with all my heart! God had to change my heart and He's trying to make me a parent more like Him. I'm so far from that right now, but I want to be so bad!
No matter what the situation, how badly we think we've been wronged by someone, or how our rights (that we think we have) have been violated, we cannot let anger gain control over us!
That doesn't have to mean a physical temper tantrum. But it means letting thoughts enter my mind or words come out of my mouth that are NOT good and helpful, and they are NOT an encouragement to anyone. That has to be one of the most convicting verses in the Bible for me! This means EVERYTHING I say should be profitable! Matthew 5 says calling someone an idiot is an act we will be judged for! Letting a wrong-doing take over our thoughts, cause us to start the internal rant, the private argument in your mind, that you always win so eloquently, or making a tiny little jab with someone, even in the most discreet, passive-agressive way, is inviting the Devil in to your life! We have literally sent him an invitation and said "Come on in!" It makes me sick that I do this!
God has so much to teach me still! I want my thoughts, my words, my attitude to always reflect His character, and not my sinfulness.
I want to be a parent like He is.
Praise God that He convicts us of our sin, and we have the opportunity for true repentance, as described in James 4:7-10.

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites. 9 Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

And Praise God that He is making me more like Him, so I can reflect Him to my children and others in my life, and not just me.

Carissa's Pink Cookies

My sweet Carissa. How we love her. She is with child (Yay!!!!), and feeling pukey, so say a prayer for her and Nick.
But when we were in Padre, she made these cookies, and they were so great! I don't know where she got this recipe, but it's so easy, it must be passed on. You could change this up, too, with different types of cake mix and chips, etc.

Carissa's Pink Cookies:

A box of strawberry cake mix
1/2 cup of oil
2 eggs
about 1/2 of a bag of white chocolate chips (according to your taste)

Mix together the ingredients, and bake at 350 for about 12-14 minutes, until the edges get slightly brown.
We made these for HOPE group last week, so my HOPE groupies can testify to them.
Enjoy!
And if anyone has any cake mix recipes, I love these! Pass them on to me!

Do you think you need a filter?

Here is an article I just wrote for Lily 7. (This is a blog for college-age and young single women. Check out the link here on my blog.)

I used to think that I needed a filter. I thought, when I would say something really stupid, sinful, hateful, ridiculous (you get the picture) that “I really should have filtered that!” I truly believed that I needed a filter between my brain and my mouth. That way, the terrible, insensitive, thoughtless things that would pop into my brain wouldn’t have to come out of my mouth, and it would save me a lot of embarrassment. Haven’t you ever said “Was that out loud?”
Perfect example of one of the million stupid things I’ve said, just for your enjoyment. I pulled into the gym one morning with my million kids, and to my frustration, as I was running late for my class, there were no parking spots up-close. What frustrated me more was that there was some sports car double-parked right in front. Double-parked? Who are these people? Who do they think they are? They deserve two parking spots? So typical of some guy, to think his precious sports car deserves an extra spot instead of my mini-van weighed down with a million little people. So I’m obviously ranting internally, while I unload toddlers, babies, little people, backpacks, water bottles, sippy cups, etc. All the while, furious at some meat-head guy in there, staring at himself in the mirror while he sits on the weight bench in a muscle shirt, loving himself, and his car. So I go in, making the extra long trip through the parking lot, drop my kids off in their fun childcare area, unload sippy cups and backpacks, and head off to my class. But I can’t resist stopping by the desk to complain, since I’m still internally fuming. So I see the cute, skinny girl behind the counter who answers the phone “Gold’s Gym, how may I change your life today?” (vomit). I say “Hey, you probably don’t know who it is, but some IDIOT (because I emphasized that word) has double parked his car right up front, while we Moms have to park further out, and I don’t think that’s right.” (rant continues) The perky, skinny girl looks right at me and says “That’s my car.” She gives some sort of explanation from there that I didn’t hear because I couldn’t believe what an enormous IDIOT I was!!!
The Lord showed me years ago, I don’t need a filter. I need Psalm 19:14. “May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” This means, I can’t think whatever I want, as long as I just let polite and inoffensive things come out of my mouth. It means I need to honor God with not only my words, the way I say those words, and the intentions behind my words, but also with my every thought! Do you remember how Jesus said that if you look lustfully at someone, you have committed adultery with them in your heart? He came to tell religious people that rule keeping is not enough. Your thoughts and heart behind it mean everything. My words and my thoughts are equally sinful and offensive to God. This was a revelation from the Word for me.
Does this overwhelm you? It does me. Then I remember how I can do nothing apart from God. (John 15:5) The fruit of the Holy Spirit in me is good and pleasing, but the fruit of Jenn, in my flesh, is rotten, smelly, and gross. I learned I have to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5 NIV) I have to retrain my mind according to God’s Word, and not what comes naturally to me. (Romans 12) Now, sometimes I just pray Psalm 141:3 for myself. “Take control of what I say, O Lord, and keep my lips sealed.” Sadly, I have a long list of examples and stories like the one above. While they may be entertaining, they do very little for my representation of Christ to the world, or the people suffering the wounds of what has just come out of my mouth.
So God has been teaching me how to honor Him with my words AND my thoughts. That means, even if I have restrained myself from gossiping with my friends about someone or something, thinking those thoughts is equally as sinful. This truly does require a retraining of my mind and heart. I want my words to be a blessing to others, and my thoughts to be a blessing to God. I want to be pleasing to God in all things! Proverbs 13 says “Good people enjoy the positive results of their words…” and Proverbs 15 says “The Godly think before speaking.” I am praying that the Holy Spirit would be the check in me, so that my thoughts and my words would be pleasing to Him.

Outdoor Baths

While it's warm outside, who needs indoor baths?
In the Bacak house, a water hose, a trampoline, and a little baby shampoo will do.
Justus calls this "water jump", and if you've been over lately, he has probably signed this to you, while pulling you toward the backyard. He thinks everyone should water jump with him!
Last week, we had a spontaneous water jump after dinner, and the kids stripped down to their underwear to spray each other with the hose.
Rusty put on his swimming trunks to join in, because he's a good Dad, and even more so, because he's really 12 on the inside.
I was inside doing the Mom thing...washing dishes, smiling and waving from the window. They started to chant "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" So I decided to abandon the kitchen responsibilities and the dignified Mom persona (where you never get your hair wet???) and get wet with them. I was so glad I did! It was way funner(because that's a word!) than sweeping the kitchen floor.
Then we all started to chant "Sage! Sage! Sage!" This was Sage's first week to live with us, so who knows what she was thinking at this point, but we knew she was perfect for this house! She jumped in with us, and let Jax spray her down relentlessly too. So much fun! A trampoline with four kids, three adults, and covered in baby shampoo is fun AND treacherous! I felt so proud that the night did not end in an ER visit and an x-ray! Success!
We have no pictures of the actual trampoline part because we were ALL on it. No photographer was present. Did anyone have "Flash" in college? At Baylor we had a company called Flash, and they were always there. No matter what the event, what time of day...you could have a pow-wow at Wal-Mart at 3am, and you could just call out "Flash!" and they would be there, snapping away at all your cheesy college girl poses. Sometimes I wish Flash lived with us to capture our every precious moment. I'm doing my best to document these things. Any BU grads getting a fun flashback? What did you guys have like this at A&M?
So much fun! Moments like these are memorable. Where's Flash when you need them?

Scripture Memory

I saw this recently on Katy St. John's blog, and then my sweet friend Arlene sent this to me today in an e-mail.
What an adorable video!
But how convicting...yuck.
We grown-ups stink at this.
Rusty is teaching "Living by the Book" at our church on Sunday nights this semester, about Inductive Bible Study, and as part of our class we will be doing scripture memory. I'm very excited! As Rusty pointed out to us, the kids in Awana's are schooling us on this!
My kids are soaking up scripture so fast, and I am not keeping up with them.
And I love to memorize! It's not even hard for me! Why in the world don't I know more?
I have way too much of that "you know that verse...it's around 1st...no maybe 2nd Corinthians...or maybe it's Thessalonians." I'm the queen of partial verse quotations. That's not okay. I rely on my own Bible and journal to find the verses, but can't locate them otherwise. (I know it's next to the pages that my kids colored on, or before the section that's highlighted...do y'all do that too?)
That is sorry.
We are lazy.
We obviously don't love God's Word enough.
I feel like such a hypocrite to my kids, asking them to memorize a new verse each week, when I am not.
So this week Rusty has asked the class to memorize two verses:
Hebrews 4:12 and 2 Timothy 3:16-17. Both GREAT ones! If you're like me, you just need a plan and an accountability partner. So let's get one! I have a husband, so that's built-in accountability.
No more excuses.
When you see me next, ask me to quote my memory verses to you. And ask my husband and kids too. God's Word is too good, too precious, too valuable NOT to!!!!

We're a 3 Loaf/ Week Family

When did this happen?
Seriously, I remember when Rusty and I would buy one loaf of bread a week, and still not finish it. We probably even bought bread every other week. That was when we bought the fancy bread. It had nuts in it, and was sliced thick. It was heart healthy, or something. But then...
You blink.
Black out.
Wake up.
Come to.
And you're a 3 loaf/week family.
3 LOAVES! Hello HEB brand 89 cent wheat bread.
We bought three loaves this week, and still ran out before our shopping day came.
I think Treston ate half of it.
What will it be like when I have three teenage boys in the house?
I forget how many gallons of milk Michelle Smith says they buy in a week.
Milk is more expensive, so atleast we're not guzzling milk like that, although we do buy plenty.
How many loaves of bread do the Brickers go through?
What about the Duggers, that family in AR who have like...27, or something, kids?
How many loaves of bread do they eat in a week?
It's crazy. It probably doesn't help that we have a one-year-old that eats more than the rest of them combined.
So keep in mind, people...children are a blessing!!! But they eat a lot!!! So start saving for your enormous grocery bill. HEB will be getting the majority of your paycheck!
Kiss Kroger and Albertson's goodbye. If you shop there out of convenience or to avoid the insanity that IS HEB, especially at this time of year (students are back and ALL hanging out at HEB with their parents) those days are over. You will peel out into the parking lot to get that "Shopping with a Child" parking spot, (if you park there without a child, Rusty WILL stop you and give you a lecture), pull TWO shopping carts, rather than one, as you shop, and avoid making eye contact with someone as they head toward the aisle you have your eye one, while increasing to super speed to get there first. HIll Country Fair will be your absolute favorite brand name, and your kids will never have to know that brand name diapers exist.
We used to "observe" the frantic, poor parenting going on from the Moms and Dads with baskets overflowing with smooshed groceries and many toddler arms and legs sticking out with sticky hands and faces from free cookies, that only keep them happy for a total of 15 seconds.
We are now THOSE PEOPLE!
Dear Lord, help us to be Christians at HEB!
But with all that said...I wouldn't trade it!
No matter how much bread they eat, and no matter that I'm about to embark on HEB with all of them in tow, it is great!!! Who needs fancy bread? Who needs to check-out in less than 20 minutes? Not us.

Laugh till you snort

My sister-in-law, Liz, put this on her blog, and it's too funny! As Liz put it, you'll laugh till you snort. I did. I've watched it about six times now. This is exactly why we occasionally pause when pageants are on TV. Moments like this. Priceless.
I'm really mean, aren't I?
Y'all pray for me.