It's my fake birthday cake

Today is my fake birthday.
I have a real birthday. It's on Saturday. But we will be driving all day and I will just be honest...I'd be feeling sorry for myself having a birthday in the car in my mini-van, handing out snack bags, and listening to one more annoying kids movie.
So we made today my fake birthday! I'm enjoying it very much! I had lunch today with some ladies I love very much at one of my favorite spots, Frittella.
And sweet Jeanna made me my birthday cake already!
I usually have an amazing Carrot Cake that takes about forever to make and produces a sink full of dirty dishes. It's a homemade carrot cake with a buttermilk glaze and cream cheese frosting. It's three seperate recipes from Southern Living. My very own husband who loves and adores me has made this cake for me more than once before anyone reading this blog was even awake. He's so amazing! (He also knows one of my primary love languages is food. The other is service. That combines those two and makes me feel like the most loved woman alive.) But I asked him not to go through the trouble this week. I think it's just evil of me to prefer this cake.
So I am including the recipe for a pound cake that came in as pinch hitter birthday cake this year. Fake birthday that is.
So this is my fake birthday cake. This recipe comes from Ashley Garratt, and I tried it because the name is "Grocery Store Gossip Pound Cake."
I really like good names of recipes, and that was a unique one!
Here it is. It's so easy! You might have these ingredients waiting for you in the kitchen right now!

1 box butter cake mix
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup oil
5 eggs
8 oz. sour cream

Mix all ingredients together and pour into a bundt pan. Bake at 350 until brown, about 50 min. - 1 hour.

Tonight I am putting strawberries with it.
Why? Because it's my fake birthday.

Memorial Day Remembering

Today we remember Earl Martin Seay.
This is my Dad's Dad. He's actually an Aggie! If you're a frequent visitor in the Bacak living room, you may have seen our framed newspaper story about him.
My Dad didn't know his Dad. He fought in WWII and then lost his life in Korea. My Dad was just six weeks old. His sacrifice is still felt, generations down the family line, and is not forgotten.
Despite the tragedy of my Dad's parents' death (my Dad lost his Mom when he was young as well; she served as a nurse in the service) God provided for my Dad generously. He was raised by a hard-working Grandpa and Godly, homemaking grandmother. Their imprint is forever left on who he is.
We are thankful today for all of those who have defended our freedom. Our pastor challenged us this weekend not to take for granted our freedoms, especially to worship freely. Week after week, we pray for the persecuted church around the world. That has made us more mindful of the value of this freedom.
We are so thankful!

I can't believe I liked it!

Rusty was surprised, but I am most surprised.
I really liked it. I have always been repulsed by the Star Trek TV show. I think it's those scary, monster-looking people they have. Creepy. They did have one woman in the beginning of the movie with freakishly large eyes. I think I had nightmares about her last night. I just don't like that sci-fi business. It's not for me.
But I had heard that the Star Trek movie was really good, and that J.J. Abrams did it.
That man is a MAGICIAN!
(He's the creator of LOST and Alias- two of our favorite shows ever.)
J.J. Abrams can take a show I HATE and make a movie I really liked out of it.
It wasn't deep, dark, and fraught with religious overtones like LOST, but it was entertaining.
Who knew?
I actually liked it.
I especially liked being on a date with my husband and seeing a movie. That was the best part.
Next stop at the movies: Night at the Museum 2, and then Up!

Newest member of the Bacak household

I know I've written about Jeanna many times. She has been my mentee this past year. We met last fall, as she was looking for a mentor. We didn't know each other at all! Jeanna is on the quieter side at first, so we slowly got to know one another and she got to know this crazy family.
I've written about the rewards of mentoring! Wow! This year has been so much fuller for having her in it! She trained with me for a half marathon. That was amazing.
She was my partner in the Run For Compassion craziness.
And now, she is a member of our household.
Jeanna moved in this past week for the year! So exciting!
If you know us, you know that we have had many people live here. Some we knew, and some we didn't. We have been a shepherding home for New Life, taking in pregnant women and sometimes their kids because they needed a place to stay. I learned about a million things through those experiences! Hard and really good things.
We have had other college girls that we adore, and needed to save some money, come and stay with us. It's only a bonus when they leave some of their clothes behind for me. I'm happy to take college girls leftover clothes, just so you girls know!
And now we have Jeanna! (Who is totally my size, by the way! I've already scanned her closet.)
She is rooming with Emma for now. Emma is way excited! Emma put a J on the wall next to her E, how precious is that? She is working hard to keep her room clean, after much lecturing from us on being a good roommate.
This is such a great teaching point for us and the kids, teaching about hospitality. Our home does not belong to us.
Not just literally, because it belongs to the bank I guess, but because all that we have been given is ours to share. That's what we teach our kids. We tell them nothing belongs to them. It's "yours to share." We don't have Jax's toys, and Justus' toys, and Treston's toys, we have "toys to share."
Well we feel convincted that our home is no different.
I'm not going to lie, sometimes sharing our home has been amazingly fun and enjoyable, and sometimes it's been hard.
These girls get to see the good, bad, and the ugly around here. That is humbling sometimes.
But who are we to hoard the gifts He's given us? Why should our house be an exception? Why do I sometimes find myself with my fingers curled around something tightly as if it were mine, and I earned it? Yuck.
1 Peter 4:9 says "Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay."
The Bible talks many times of sharing our homes, hospitality, and the apostles always stayed in homes. Do you think it's possible that we have become so closed with our homes in the U.S. culture, that it is a place to hide? A place to protect our images, keeping people on the outside periphery of our lives?
All I know is, there's room for more around here. No, we don't have unoccupied bedrooms, but we can always put more kids a room. They're little. We have the space to house others, and we want to!
We are SUPER EXCITED about having Jeanna here all year! She is already such a blessing to our home!
Jeanna will be blessing us by babysitting our kids weekly for our date nights. We have told her, we think this is better than rent! We have a babysitter on retainer. How cool is that?
We're so glad you're here Jeanna! Thanks for sharing our lives with us!

Psalm 19

In my read through the Bible in a year program, we have come to the Psalms. Yay! Leviticus was a trip, but getting to the Psalms has been just nourishing. I feasted on Psalm 19 this morning. It is so good! I just had to share!
Psalm 19
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
2 Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.
3 They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard.[a]
4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.
God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.
6 The sun rises at one end of the heavens
and follows its course to the other end.
Nothing can hide from its heat.

-I want to see God's glory in all things...in all His creation...I want to enjoy the sun and the skies and let them scream "CREATOR" to me. Nothing CAN hide from it's heat, especially here in Texas, and I am not thinking about how cool that is. I'm thinking about how much I HATE Texas summers. I do NOT have a thankful heart when summer approaches. I dread the sweating and scorching days when it's too hot for my kids to be outside. But I'm missing the point. It's true! Without a word, just as He tells us in Romans 1, God has spoken His existence into our world, even evidenced by the sun. No evangelist required. We are without excuse because we can see what He's done. There's great comfort in that.
Stay with me...that's just the intro.

7 The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The commandments of the Lord are right,
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
giving insight for living.
9 Reverence for the Lord is pure,
lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
each one is fair.
10 They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.
11 They are a warning to your servant,
a great reward for those who obey them.

-Let's make a list of what He's saying God's word is! His Laws are:
perfect, reviving the soul
trustworthy, making wise the simple (Praise the Lord! There's hope for us all!)
right, bringing joy to the heart
clear, giving insight for our lives
true, fair
more desirable than any material thing
sweet
a warning
a great reward
WHAT ELSE COULD I WANT!? I'm so thankful for His Word, that He didn't leave us here to figure it all out on our own! I'm pained that there were times in my life when I didn't consistently desire it. What was I thinking? What was I desiring more than Him? I must have thought I could find my own way, and it would be just fine. I was so wrong! I need God's Word so desperately. I regret ever going a day without it. Not because it's a duty that must be done and checked off my list. But because I need it. I want it. I am starved and spiritually anorexic without it. The Bible coupled with coffee is God's greatest gift to me in the morning. Thank you Jesus! He is willing to meet with me and speak to me, and He invented the coffee bean to help make it possible. God is good!
What is more important to us than our time in the Word?
Sleep? Homework? E-mail? Blogging? Our beauty? People? I've been guilty of everyone of these. In those times, I was obviously not seeing His Word like THIS.
And I need to know His Word...for the next part.

12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
and innocent of great sin.
14 May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

What a prayer for me to pray everyday! I want to take all of my sin this seriously, and I truly want the words of my mouth AND the meditations of my heart to please Him. That covers just about every sin issue.
Look at all that good stuff packed into one little Psalm. Wow!
I'm so enjoying these Psalms and writing them fast and furiously in my journal. This is good stuff!

Bacak family photos by Ryan Price

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I have to tell you about our friend and talented photographer, Ryan Price.
I love these photos so much! We took them out at Carousel Acres where Emma rides horses. It was such a perfect spot! Ryan captured it so well! And let me tell you, it's not easy doing that with four squirmy kiddos.
When did my daughter get so big and beautiful? And what's more beautiful than a girl on a horse? He also got all of the boys and their personalities! I think that's what I love most about these pictures. They're not just still shots of us posing. They're real. Love them, Ryan! You rock! Check out his site at www.ryanpricephoto.com

Motherhood

(This amazing family photo was taken by Ryan Price- commercial for him coming soon!)

First of all- I praise the Lord today for the mother I have! What a godly example for me and source of wisdom she is! Yesterday, I had the rare opportunity to go to lunch with her just the two of us. It was awesome! The hours flew by while we talked non-stop and I treasure that kind of precious time with her. I love you Mom!

I'm telling you, I think Mother's Day is better than a birthday.
First, because you don't get a year older.
But mostly, because it's just a day to celebrate motherhood. And that is something that I enjoy very much!
Being a Mom is the best job I can imagine.
It's hard to explain motherhood before you're there- it begins quite appropriately with giving birth. What could be more difficult and painful and beautiful and joyful at the same time? It's seemingly so contradictory.
Being a mother is definitely sanctifying, challenging, trying.
But it's brimming with joy and beauty. It's the highest vocational calling I could hope for. It's teeming with purpose and big picture value.
The Lord has heaped his rewards on us through a full house of children. I can only be thankful today!
My day started with breakfast in bed brought in by four beaming little faces. They were so proud of the work they'd done! They had been planning this breakfast all week, and they awoke with a start and a purpose in making me feel loved this morning.
Treston wandered into my bedroom with crazy hair and sleepy eyes and said "Happy Birfday Mama". Seriously! What is cuter than that!?
I then got to watch an old movie I'd had from Netflix for a month but haven't had time to watch, while I cut out my Sunday coupons with little helpers on the bed. It's called "Woman of the Year" and was made in 1942. I just grab all the old, old movies I can find on Netflix because I really can't tolerate movies made in color anymore. I just adore the classics! I didn't know what it was about, and strangely enough it was a poignant statement about womanhood and the feminist movement from it's early days. Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy (who I now know I love! I wasn't familiar with Spencer Tracy so much) were the stars, and it's a story of a marriage between a career man and frontrunner in the femininist movement and career woman. Turns out, she is the "woman of the year" in her career world, but not-so-much of a wife and "no woman at all" according to her husband. This is not the kind of statement and real-life conflict you will find in the movies anymore. But it's legit.
In my prayer hour this morning, my heart was heavy for women to value their place in the home. Our roles as wives, helpers, mothers, managers and workers in the home (Titus 2), and servants in the church are all biblically mandated. I want us to see our work as God does! This is more than being a maid and a chauffeur. Under the leadership of our husbands, we are teaching and disciplining and loving our children, and it's all about pointing them to Christ! What is our ultimate goal for them? It is for them to love God with everything in them and serve Him wholeheartedly. What I'm doing with them daily has everything to do with THAT. We are not just washing clothes just to get dirty again, or making meals just to watch them disappear before our eyes, or even cleaning floors that get muddy moments later. Our real work is not futile. All of it is valuable, even the tasks that appear futile on the surface. This is the work God has laid out for us. God knows what is good for us. He has given us these roles based on the skills and gifts He's equipped us with. And in Proverbs 31:28-30, he reveals something vital to our understanding of this role. "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he blesses her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
Why do we seek reward, satisfaction, and recognition elsewhere? Fearing the Lord and serving our husbands and families is where it's at.
This is not an indictment on women doing any work outside the home. So don't e-mail me ugly things. I know the Proverbs 31 woman turned a profit with her handiwork. But she was an excellent manager of her home first and foremost. She was a blessing to her husband (v. 11-12). She was...well I'll save the full-blown Proverbs 31 Bible Study for another day.
This is simply to say: Today I feel celebrated. I feel that all I'm doing in the home is truly of eternal value and I am overwhelmed with the satisfaction of it all. Remember what I wrote about sanctification and trials? I'm not discounting that. I'm quite familiar with it, in fact.
But God's plan for women is good. And I feel blessed beyond measure to be a wife and mother and manager of this home. When I see these things as being anything but a blessing, I have lost my proper focus and slipped into a selfish and ungrateful attitude.
I recently read an amazing book called "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney. I highly recommend it for married and single ladies alike. I was challenged by so many areas I would like to grow in as a wife and mother! I have much room to grow! I took intense notes while I read this book to discuss it all with my husband. What a fruitful time it was! I want to be humbly asking the Lord, as we celebrate motherhood, what can I do better? This life is a blessing, and I want to be a good steward and make all I can of it.
Happy Mother's Day, Moms!
I hope you feel blessed today too!

Praying for our children

Mother's Day is coming! Yay! I love Mother's Day! I love being a Mom so I think we should get a whole week to celebrate motherhood! What a high and sacred calling for us women!
As I think about my role as a Mother and contemplate what I ought to be doing well, I know that the most important thing I can do as a Mom is pray.
But sometimes my prayer time for my kids seems scattered and unfocused.
If you are like me, you pray for you kids. No brainer. But sometimes I'm overwhelmed by all that I want to cover in prayer for them. And I have a lot of kids!
I want to be a Mom who is on my knees for them, fighting daily in the spiritual realm for the big things and the little things, but I have needed a little more focus in my prayers.
Our church has a prayer guide that we all follow throughout the week. On Monday we pray for a specific gov't leader, and Tuesday, for a specific church leader; Wed. is for a person or individual by name in the church, and so on.
I found, like everything else in my life, I love this structure! I love knowing exactly what we're praying for each day and that our body is praying in unison for these things.
So Rusty and I decided to have a prayer guide as we pray for our kids.
Here is what I've come up with for Rusty and I to be praying specifically for our kids each day of the week.
(Sorry- if I had more time I would list all the scripture references to verses related to what we pray- we do pray scripture over these things, but I don't have them handy! I encourage you to do this though! There is power in praying the Word!)

SUNDAY: We pray that our children would love worship and value their place of service in the body.

MONDAY: We pray for salvation for our yet to be saved children, and for our saved children to share the gospel with others.

TUESDAY: We pray for purity and holiness in their lives! We pray that they would never wander away from the Lord and to serve Him faithfully all their days. We also pray the same for their future mates.

WEDNESDAY: We pray over their education and learning, and for God to give me wisdom as I teach them. I pray over any trouble areas they are having in school work.

THURSDAY: We pray for their obedience. We pray over any obedience struggles they are currently having and for God to give us wisdom as we lovingly correct them.

FRIDAY: We pray for the gifts and talents God has given them. We ask God to help us develop those gifts and talents in them for HIS GLORY!

SATURDAY: We pray for birthparents and related adoption issues.

This is a new thing we are trying out and already I LOVE it!
I just thought I'd share it with all of you!

Emma's horse show

Here are the pictures of one of my proudest Mom moments...I sewed a bee costume.
This was more daunting to me than running a half marathon, and that's pretty daunting!
I don't sew. A few years back I learned how to do some basic sewing, making a square baby blanket and sew ribbon on burp cloths, but half the time I get the thread all tangled up in my machine and give up. So when Emma needed a costume for herself AND her horse for her horse show, and I knew we were WAY too cheap to spend over $100 on the ones I saw online, I knew I had to tackle this task myself. Holy Cow. A costume for a horse? The fitting session was not the easiest, I tell you. In fact, after I'd sewn this thing and we tried it on her, Esplendida totally freaked out and ran at full speed around the arena, completely trampling it! I thought to myself- first, we might all die here in this arena with this horse raging around in a bee costume, and second, I'm not sewing another one.
But there were just a few minor tears and she eventually gave in and wore the costume, begrudgingly though. She acted crazy up until the moment she entered the arena with Emma. And then this show horse pulled it together and she and Emma were the cutest little bees you ever saw!

The costume class (each competition is called a class) was on Friday night and Emma competed in three more events throughout the weekend. The age division is 6-12, and she was the youngest competitor in her class, so we were super proud of the way she handled her horse and competed like a champ!
Who knew when God knit this precious girl together in my womb that she would be so naturally gifted in this? It certainly never crossed my mind as a possibility! Our children, whether adopted or biological, are a complete surprise to me sometimes! God has truly given them unique gifts and talents. Emma was born completely in love with horses and there was no holding her back from them.
This horse Mom has learned A LOT in the last year!!! I was able to care for the horse almost completely independently this time around and that is HUGE for me! I started out in this thing feeling like an idiot much of the time, totally clueless to this foreign horse world. But I am getting there, and let me tell you- being a soccer Mom is much easier! But it's so rewarding doing this with my daughter. It requires a lot of hard work and care, and I gotta tell you, it blesses my heart to see her mucking stalls and doing the work.
Emma added eight new ribbons to her precious horse room and what made Rusty and I THE MOST PROUD, was despite her her great desire to be a blue ribbon winner, she was content with whatever place she got! Praise the Lord! Competition with the right perspective can be difficult no matter what sport or talent your child has! I realize how quickly I could become a psycho stage Mom if I let us get wrapped up in that. But we are intentional in talking with Emma and praying with her about her gifts bringing glory to God, and doing our best is our only goal. She never onced whined or complained when the much older girls took first, second, and third place every time! She gladly welcomed her colorful fourth, fifth, and sixth place ribbons, and that made our hearts swell with pride for her more than a blue ribbon ever could!
Thanks to our friends and family who came out to watch her! I hope you had fun! We certainly enjoyed having you there! It meant a lot to Emma!
Please pray for her teacher, Mr. Brad, who was thrown off a horse on Friday night and taken away in an ambulance. This was scary for everyone, and we were so thankufl Rusty was there. We are thankful he had no broken bones! But he had a nasty fall and we are praying for a quick recovery for him.

Anxious thoughts

The week before my half marathon I fought off that anxious feeling about the pain in my knees.
How was I going to run 13 miles when running at all hurt so much?
Walking hurt.
Basically everything but sitting with ice hurt.
I knew there was no way I was quitting, and I would cross the finish line, but would I have knees when I was done?
But as always, even a hint of anxiety proves fruitless and, well, ridiculous.
God sees me.
He seems my needs and he even sees my desires.
He doesn't always do what I want, when I want it (Praise the Lord!) but He is good and faithful.
He just bestowed His goodness on me in making my knees better at just the right time, so how stupid of me was it to spend time thinking and worrying about this?
It's a waste of time.
It's a waste of energy.
And worry is sin! Philippians 4:6-7 says "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
That's pretty comprehensive.
Don't worry
pray
express your need
be thankful for what He's already done (which is a LOT)
let peace fall on you
a peace you can't even understand
It protects your mind and heart from your own destructive thoughts
THANK YOU!

Does anyone else have to learn the same lessons over and over again?
I wish I didn't. But I'm glad he reminds me.
I think I might remember this better in big things, but I let the little things consume my mind.
Running with broken knees...sewing a horse's costume when I don't sew...trying to use mind control with the weather for Run For Compassion, which clearly doesn't work.
When something arose today that might have caused me to worry and tailspin into anxious thoughts, I remembered.
God is good and faithful, and while His ways are higher than mine and I might not know how things are going to work out, He does and He is sovereign.
My job is to be faithful in the meantime as I rest in Him and remember all that He's already done with a thankful heart.
Friends, feel free to remind me of this when I need it. I'm putting on peace and thankfulness, even in the tiny details.

My Music City half marathon

I did it! I survived, crossed the finish line, and was not one of the hundreds of people passed out on the sidelines! YES!!!!! Nashville had record high heat on Saturday, so it was hot, but no hotter than it might have been here. So I didn't die. Pure success! What an amazing race!
This was so fun and I will never ever ever go back to a small-town race again.
Let me give you the highs and lows of my half marathon in Nashville!

HIGHS:
Hands-down, highest high was running this race with my brother Brian. It was such a cool experience to have with him and we had a blast! There are TONS of people there to cheer someone on and hold up signs for them. No matter whose name was on them or who they were shouting for, we decided early in the race it was for us. So we were very interactive with the crowd. Nearing the finish line, a guy held up a sign that said "I think you're HOT!" I thanked him as I rounded the corner in mile 12, but he told me it was for the guy behind me (my brother.) That was a high!

An amazing high was that I didn't feel my knees while I ran. They literally did not hurt and they'd been hurting like crazy for weeks. My run the week before had been so painful! Everything had been so painful, but they felt great! God was so good to me and I am so thankful! Why do I stress and become anxious about things? He always proves Himself faithful! I had spent the last week so anxious about this race because my knees were in such bad shape, but God even cares about the little things for us and He has made my knees better purely out of His kindness. He's such a good God!

The music was a high-with my favorite songs played being "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Livin' on a prayer". There was also a worship band out there and I loved that!

Another favorite moment would be when my brother grabbed what looked like a tongue depressor with a glob of something at the end of it at a water station where it was being handed out. He gave it to me and I asked him "what is this?" He said "It's the power goo" (if you don't know about the power goo, you will hear more about it in my lows. But you swallow this stuff and it gives you supernatural energy to keep on going!)
I said "Are you sure?" So when he went back to get himself one he asked the woman what it was. She said "Vaseline."
Can you imagine if we had tried to eat that stuff!!! That was a hilarious moment, only because we did NOT eat Vaseline! That would have ruined our race. (If you are wondering why they hand out Vaseline, it's because some people have chafing issues when they run long distances and runners use Vaseline to prevent that.)

It was just fun! It's an enormous race with lots of energy. When we started, there were runners in front of us as far as we could see, and runners behind us as far as we could see. That's pretty crazy! More than 30,000 racers participated.
It was a cool way to see the sights of Nashville. The course winds through downtown, and while it is somewhat hilly, it was a great course.

LOWS:
No one warned me. I've been asking experienced racers for tips for months now and not one person warned me about the port-o-potty situation.
Okay, no one likes port-o-potties. I'm no exception. I wasn't excited about it. But we left Brian's house at 5:30am and the race didn't start until 7am-and our corral, because it was a stagger start, didn't take off until 7:30, so OBVIOUSLY we're going to need to pee before we run 13.1 miles!
We waited in line at the first group of potties forever just to find that they were...well...defiled by nervous runner racer poo. Brian and I decided that we were the only two people out of 30,000 who didn't poop in the port-o-potties. And not ONE of them had toilet paper left. NOT ONE.
We abandoned those potties and went ahead and took our shuttle bus from the stadium parking to the starting line. We hoped for better potties there. From the stench, we knew we hoped in vain. We got in the more than 30 minute line to wait to pee (which wasn't optional for me! I had coffee on the drive in) and I was panicking on the inside. I could squat and touch nothing like any respectable woman knows how to do but NO TOILET PAPER. I couldn't do it.
And then I spotted a group of women a few lines over with their own handy dandy roll of toilet paper! They were passing it out among themselves! I immediately ran over to them and begged for some- and they so graciously gifted me with my own toilet paper! I so wanted to hug them! And then I wished I had gotten their addresses! I would have sent them a heartfelt thank you card...and maybe a gift card.
So I got to pee beforehand and told my body in my most firm voice that I would not be needing to use the bathroom again until we left the race and went to kinder bathroom facilities. That didn't end up being until 2 or 3 in the afternoon because Yeneneh, my nephew, had double header soccer games right after the race, but I made it.
Next year: BRINGING MY OWN TOILET PAPER. And probably building time into our morning schedule to stop somewhere decent just before we park at the stadium. I never want to potty where 30,000 nervous racers potty at once again.

Parking. Parking was a nightmare. Not only do you have that many racers, but you also have all the supportive friends and family members who come to cheer them on. Like my sister-in-law Amy and her six kids!!! They came at the end and poor Amy had to park her enormous van where everyone one, including us, had to park illegally so that we didn't miss the race. Somehow Amy did it and somehow she found us after the race which was purely miraculous! The crowds were unbelievable. The foot traffic after crossing the finish line took us about 35 minutes to get through before we could even find the parking lot. And there was Amy and six kiddos! With posters! She deserves the medal if you ask me. (But I didn't give her mine. It's mine!)

Power goo. I've heard about this stuff for a long time now and had never encountered it before. I've heard it's gross and I've heard it works. I had read on the website that it would be available at mile 10 so we had decided we would partake of the goo to keep us going. However, I almost threw it up. It was so nasty, it's like swallowing giant globs of snot. I started gagging and couldn't finish it. So I will not be partaking of the goo again. I will be finding it in another form and taking it with me next time. It must have worked though because endurance wise, I was great! I honestly wanted to keep going at the end! I was wishing there was a finish line somewhere between the half and the full. I would take on that race if I could next time!
I think that's in part due to the slower pace and running method we used. My brother uses a run walk combo, and I think it just preserved my energy in a way that made this race easier to finish. I think I'm a believer in this method now!

That's my summary. I honestly want to register to do the Music City race in San Antonio in November! I loved it and I think I might be hooked on races now. It's good to have a goal. It's good to work toward something huge and accomplish it. And it was super doing it with my brother!
So-November...who's with me?

"Planet Earth"

Today we learned a little about taking care of our planet in the Bacak Academy.
Tonight we went to see "Planet Earth" at the movies. We love this show! It's unparalleled in footage of all kinds of nature. I think it's a must see for the whole family. I enjoyed it very much, minus the five bathroom trips required of my children and one two-year-old fit. If you were in the theater with us tonight, I apologize.
As I taught on Earth day this morning, we had a good discussion on WHY we ought to give a flip about Earth day and taking care of the earth. Even my kids can tell you, this is not our home! Our real home is in heaven. We're just passing through.
So why should we care about what we do with it while we're here?
The kids and I had a great discussion about being good stewards.
Good stewards of things that He's given us for a time, but not forever.
God blesses us with things that are good...

Like our bodies! While you may not feel grateful for yours, you should! The human body is amazing, as my husband often points out in the marvels of medicine, and a working body is a gift! We ought to be good stewards of the bodies He's given us.

Like our money. Our money and possessions have no eternal value. As the Bible points out, it all will collect moths and rust and we can't take it with us. But you better believe, He expects us to be good stewards of the money and things He's graciously given us.

Like our planet. Romans 1 tells us that God is made evident through His creation. Experiencing God's creation does make us feel closer to Him, keenly aware of Him and His magnitude, and His desire to bless us with good things we don't deserve. Think of the most beautiful place you've ever been in the world. Do you have that place in mind? For me it's Lake Louise in Canada. The mountains are amazing and the water of the lake is a color blue I've never seen in my life. I couldn't take my eyes off of the scenic view the whole time we were there. God didn't have to give us that. But I felt like He revealed to me another facet of His goodness by experiencing it.
Why wouldn't we take care of what He's given us?

I'll admit, the Bacaks could go greener. I would like to learn how to do more. But we do love to recycle, because it's so easy and we're doing SOMETHING.
I'm just wondering today, why does it seems that being a Christian and being environmentally conscious seems to be forever at odds? It seems like we ought to be the opposite. Is it because we care more about human life than animal life? Does that set us up on different sides of the fence?
Whatever it is, I just wonder if we could do more in good stewardship of our planet while we're here?
And let me tell you- I'm praying it's not much longer. I'm desperately longing for Jesus' return.

Those are my thoughts on this Earth Day. Happy Earth Day!
(My old computer is still crashed and I wrote this whole post having to stick a pencil into the period and comma keys to make them work- every single time! So I'm worn out now. If I haven't emailed you back it's because I'm just tired of sticking a pencil in my computer to make keys work- or trying to write an e-mail without using a period or a comma. I just can't ignore the rules of punctuation!)

Run For Compassion FINISH LINE!

Run For Compassion 2009 has come to an end. Yes, the t-shirts sell on, but it is truly done.
We did it! Rain, lightning, and mere 24 hour days tried to hold us down- but no!
We still had 75 out of our registered 158 runners participate despite the rain delay.
So many were first time racers, and it was just sweet to cheer you on!
So many of you wonderful people gave, ran, and volunteered your time and talents. I really need to say thanks.

Thank you to EVERYONE who volunteered on race day. I'll admit, nothing went the way I expected, but the end result was still good.

Thanks Jeanna! There's absolutely no way I could have done this without your help! You were the crucial piece needed to make this possible. I adore you, of course!

Thanks Charlie- who designed the super cool t-shirts that are selling as we speak. And for the website too! Charlie, your gifts were definitely used for the kingdom! Thank you for being willing.

Thanks Jim and Rachel Jobe! You were just so willing to help with everything needed, and I might have drowned in it all had you two not been there.

Thanks to our sponsors- who gave so that all of our registration fees could go to the Child Survival Program!

Thanks friends who cared, contributed, ran errands, spread the word, and just plain came and ran your hearts out- THANKS!

We turned $50 into $3800 and counting. I just know we can sell every t-shirt and reach our $4000 goal!
My whole family sponsors 6 CSP's and this costs $2000 for the year. We're doubling that! Praise the Lord!
As we Bacaks cross the finish line, this passage is on our hearts:
31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Watch for it next year. We'll be back. And if you have any feedback on the race, please let me know your constructive ideas for our next Run For Compassion!

Postponed

Dang lightning.
So we are postponing the race until 1pm due to the lightning. We figure it's probably not safe to run past a power plant while it's lightning. As long as it is not lightning, we will still have the race at 1pm, even if it rains.

Rain or Shine!

We are having this thing, rain or shine!
Running in the rain is AWESOME, people!
Please pray...a virus crashed our computer last night. Seriously!
But God is good and faithful. Pray for the computer demons to be gone!
We are using our computer for EVERYTHING with this race.
The Joy of the Lord is our strength today!
See many of you at the race...it's gonna rock!

Peaceful and beautiful?

I have not abandoned this blog.
Or my normal life.
Well I sort of have, but just temporarily.
This has been a hectic week, as you might could guess.
It's race week! Hooray! God is bringing this good work to completion, and I'm so excited!
But it has been a little overwhelming at times.
Sometimes I realize my visions are bigger than my abilities.
That's a good thing to learn about yourself.
I'm so thankful for the people in my life who keep asking me "what can I do? What can I take from you?"
Sometimes I know, and sometimes I don't know where to begin.
I have been battling a spreadsheet this week. I'm not sure I've been winning. It's my first spreadsheet. I think Excel has been laughing at me.
And to top off yesterday, we had our family pictures taken.
They weren't originally planned for this week. Seriously, THIS WEEK!?
You Moms know what it's like to make six people look coordinated, shiny, and beautiful, right? It's sort of a nightmare.
And we hired a really talented professional photographer, our friend Ryan Price. We needed to make this shoot worthy of the time, money, and talent.
I couldn't even clear my head enough to figure out what I wanted us to wear.
I was shopping 15 minutes before it started for a white dress for Emma to wear.
(I think it turned out stunning, my daughter wearing a white dress, riding bareback on a horse. I CAN'T WAIT to see these photos!)
I e-mailed with my Mom a few hours prior to that, and mentioned I was stressed with race details and making us all "beautiful".
She wrote back and said to be "peaceful and beautiful."
I needed to hear that. I was quoting scripture to myself yesterday, but I knew it was not penetrating the reality of my day.
I was frazzled.
I went to bed last night, after painting 15 giant arrows on posterboards (you know, so you people don't get lost during the race. Kind of important!) and felt unsettled.
I had a headache, and my superhero husband sent me to bed and took what was left on my list and accomplished it like only he can.
But I still felt amiss in my spirit.
I went to each of the kids' rooms and kissed them again, while they slept.
I missed them. That seems strange, since I'm always with them.
But I have not been WITH them all week.
I've not been present in my life. I've been here, but glued to my computer and my spreadsheet while my children enjoyed the beautiful weather and sunshine. The registrations have been pouring in, and I have fought to keep up with them.
This is not me complaining! This is me LEARNING.
I have already begun a list in my handy-dandy notebook of "What I need to know next year." I will do a lot of things differently. I will start the spreadsheet earlier, and I'll know how to set it up.
I'll assemble a team of people, besides just me and Jeanna, who will give their all to this event. I know some of you would have been willing. I was just afraid to ask.
I'll start getting sponsors earlier.
I'll close streets along our route.
The list goes on.
I'll learn how to take this on, and be "peaceful and beautiful."
Today, when I woke-up and spent time with the Lord, He told me not to go to my exercise class this morning. He told me to stay home and be present with my children. I needed to not waste this day, neglecting my number one job as wife, Mom, and teacher.
Inhale. Exhale. Peace.
I'm so grateful to have heard Him speak.
I've been too busy to listen lately. I have been glued to lists, notebooks, and computers. I've literally wished outloud for a white board in my shower. Too many things pop into my head when I'm showering.
I've dreamed about the race, and have been rather consumed.
I stopped this morning and played trucks with Treston for a good 15 minutes. When was the last time I did that? Not this week. (It took me a long time to learn how to play trucks. You just have to make a LOT of sound effects. I've got it down now.)
But we are here, nearing the finish line.
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that this event is successful and we've already broken the $3000 mark going to the CSP in Ethiopia. Can you imagine what that money means to them?
I'm overwhelmed with what God has chosen to do in changing women in my church's hearts about being good stewards of their bodies and breaking years of bondage as they've trained for this thing. I didn't see that coming, to be honest. God always overshoots my expectations.
I believe race day will be no different.
I'm thankful, and peaceful in this moment.
And I'm going outside to swing my kids.
Peace out.

Here It Goes Again...

My brother Robbie sent this to me.
I desperately want to try this, when I get 6 treadmills, and about 80 free hours.
Anyone else in?
Have y'all seen this before?

Inspired to Action interview

This really neat site interviewed me for the Run For Compassion. You can read the interview and check out this site!

Happy Adoption Day Justus!

On April 8th we stood before the judge's bench as a family, and he confirmed legally what had been done for a long time.
Justus Joseph Bacak was always a Bacak. God had ordained it from the beginning of time. When I first got that beautiful baby, he didn't look my like my others, but he was ours. He had hair. I didn't know my babies could have hair! He was light brown, and got a little browner everyday. I was kind of excited to get up everyday and see a new shade of beautiful brown. That was exciting! I didn't birth him, but he was my baby.
He was ours forever.
He was loved, by his birthmom and by us. She mourned while we rejoiced. We loved her and hurt for her before we even met her.
Adoption has taught us so much. There's no way to measure it.
And what a good time for us to reflect, during Easter season, how we have been adopted.
If you know Christ as your Savior, you are adopted.
He chose us. He picked us up and made us His own. His very own, forever. There's nothing we can do to make Him love us less or be less a child of the King. Adoption is forever.
What Jesus did on the cross took all our sins for all time, and there's no backs.
Once you accept Christ's sacrifice, your sins are gone, forgiven, and you can't take them back.
In the same way, Justus is a Bacak forever. He couldn't do anything to be less a Bacak or make us love him less.
God is good! April 8th will always be a day to celebrate!
I can't imagine the Bacak family without Justus!? We would be missing a great deal of comic relief, for sure! We wouldn't be the Bacaks. We would be incomplete. Justus filled a hole in our family that only God could fill.
This family is SO thankful for adoption, in every way!
We are thankful for Kathleen, who loved Justus first and put his needs above her own.
We are thankful for New Life who does the hard and never-ending work of ministering to women, children, and families.
We are thankful most of all to our God, who adopted us, and blessed us with adoption in our family.
We are thankful for you, Justus Joseph Bacak!

Painful Training

24 Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. 25 All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.1 Cor 9:24-27

I am training for a half marathon. If you read this blog last year when I was training I wrote a lot about it. I haven't written as much this year, but I continue to learn the same things from the Lord through this process.
Let me just tell you, today my knees hurt like they've never hurt before. I ran 11 miles yesterday! 11 miles! Yesterday, before I left, I was so nervous. I thought, 11 miles...that might as well be 30 miles, it sounds so daunting. Even though I did 10 last week. I had been nervous, but I did it! Still, I was terrified.
But God was so good, and taught me as I ran. It was somewhat windy. Thankfully, I had sweet Jeanna to do the last six miles with me. When I'm running uphill, against the wind, and it feels like I'm running in slow motion, I wonder how in the world I will finish. It's too hard. My knees might explode. At about mile 8 yesterday I had to admit to Jeanna, I'm struggling. She encouraged me.
Training is hard. You continually push yourself to do more than you think possible. I've been working out with a group of women at church, and it is so inspiring to watch women do more than they've ever done with their bodies.
And isn't that just like God? He's always doing more than we can imagine when we depend on Him.
We can step back and take a look at ourselves and think...it's too big. Too much needs to change. But He is more than able. And in the face of what seems like 30 miles, He does the work for us.
I love what training shows me. When I start out, I'm thinking, sometimes I struggle to get my three miles in a day. How in the world will I get to 13?
But He takes me one step at a time, and each time I run I have to celebrate the small victories. 4 miles...5 miles... 6...Wow! 8 miles...9...10!? Really God?...11! How did I get from there to here?
But He reminds me of Who He is! And I'm most reminded when I'm running uphill, against the wind, at mile 9.
There's purpose in every step. He's teaching me something with each mile. I don't want to miss it.
It's not easy. My knees want to give way today. The discipline of my body and mind is draining. But 11 miles are behind me. What else could God do through me if I just asked Him?
I'm thankful for training and watching God do BIG things! Why am I surprised when He comes through? Faithfulness is who He is! I obviously forget He's able, He's stinkin' BIG! He's God. When I rely on myself, I quickly remember I am not.