Saturday, February 23, 2008
I'm so nervous.
We are running the Armadillo Dash (I have so many issues with this name still) tomorrow morning.
I just woke up, Saturday morning, and had countless dreams about the race. I missed the start. Rusty had to go on without me. I was devastated! Amanda forgot to come watch my kids, so we had to push them in strollers, but I knew in the dream that was against the rules. That's far-fetched! Amanda would never forget to come watch my kids! In fact, she's spending the night here tonight, along with my cousin Bailey, so they're here early and they are going to bring the kids to the finish line. How sweet is that! Another one was that I had to go give blood for someone before the race, and then another one was that my Mom told me I couldn't go. I finally just got out of bed, because of this restless dream-filled sleep. What will it be like tonight, the night before the race???
In truth, Rusty and I are both nervous. But I think, if I live, this may be one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. That may sound silly. But this race represents to me that I can do something I never in a MILLION CAJILLION years would have though I could years ago.
That God has made me, in so many ways, into someone I could never have been.
He has faithfully grown me, disciplined me, changed me to look more like him over the last 10 years. I feel almost unrecognizable to myself sometimes from the girl I once was. That sounds so dramatic. I haven't been saved from a life of IV drug use or anything. And believe me!!!! I have so much more growing and changing to do!!!! I haven't arrived, and never will. But He is accomplishing in me things I couldn't have imagined, and running this race is a tangible representation of that.
Me. The girl who never played sports and athletic was the very LAST word you would have used to describe me. I'm running a half marathon. It's exciting.
Okay, so don't ask me about my time afterward. It's not going to be anything to brag about.
If you see me at church on Sunday night, I may be packing ice packs for my knees, because they've been unbelievably sore the days of my long runs, and I still have not run quite the 13.1 miles. I'm preparing myself for the pain.
And I will be drinking my new favorite thing ever...Berry-flavored Gatorade!
I was never before a legitimate Gatorade drinker! No, not this girl, who dreaded gym class, and was sure that I had a stomachache when we had to play volley ball in fear the ball would come my way.
Gatorade was for real athletes. I saw people drink it. They were in an entirely different class than me. I was in the musical class. I don't know what we drink. But it wasn't Gatorade.
So when we started training, I was legit. I needed some of that stuff. I didn't know if I was going to like it, but the Berry Flavored kind...I swear to you, when I'm running, it's the best thing I have EVER TASTED!!! I could be dragging, and then I get a Berry Gatorade break, and I'm picking up speed! It's magic! I love it! I think about it a lot while I'm running.
I am already thinking about having it at the finish line.
I also have been picturing a press conference at the finish line.
Like Rusty and I step up to the microphones, all sweaty and out of breath, and thank the people who made this possible.
I have to remind myself that probably isn't going to happen. But maybe I'll do it here on my blog instead.
Like last week, when Rusty and I finished our longest run ever in my parents' neighborhood, we were coming to our "finish line" and right there was a woman in her robe taking out her trash. I totally expected her to cheer for me, there in her robe at her trash can.
She did not.
I don't know why.
I had just run nearly 12 miles.
I'll get back to you after the race and let you know how it goes, that is, if it doesn't hurt to type.