Bulk Trash

We have these nasty bean bags.
Bean Bags are the worst. I almost ended the friendship with the person (childless, of course) who gave my kids these ENORMOUS bean bags for Christmas one year.
I hated them then, and that was over two years ago.
I hate them today.
I have tolerated them for over two years.
But every Monday, when the Bulk Trash truck comes by, I want to throw those bulky, ugly, ready to spill out tiny beans everywhere, shapeless things in the truck and wave goodbye.
They had become a fixture in our playroom, and I could almost forget they were there...but every now and then, the dream of the bulk trash truck would re-surface.
So, one day I did it.
I hauled them out there, not caring if my neighbors saw me in my pajamas, and set them out on the curb.
In fact, I hauled several things out there.
It felt so good!!!
I was so anxious to see the truck come by and make them disappear.
But the truck doesn't come until 10:30 or so...and my little ones wandered out there and found them.
Word spread in the Bacak house.
The kids started staring outside at them, pressing their little noses up against the glass, with little tears coming down their faces.
THE BEAN BAGS
Mind you, before you think I'm a terrible, evil mother who cares nothing for my children, I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM SIT ON THESE THINGS!
So I didn't know it would become this dramatic scene...but you never know.
So before the truck could come my way, and rescue me, the bean bags were dragged back into the house.
In fact, 75% of what I'd put out on the curb was dragged back into the house.
Things that they formerly hadn't seemed to play with or care about, they just couldn't part with.
The Lord reminded me we are just like that with our sin.
There are things in our lives that have become fixtures in our hearts and minds, even though we've always known they were yucky.
But one day, the Holy Spirit prompts us, and we know they need to go.
We drag it out on the curb, we are bound and determined to let it go for good.
But somehow, before we know it, we drag it back in, because even though we know it's gross, it's comfortable. It's normal. We convince ourselves that we'll eventually get rid of it. Maybe next Monday on bulk trash day. There's always next Monday, right?
I love this verse:

Rom 13:12-13
12 The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So don't live in darkness. Get rid of your evil deeds. Shed them like dirty clothes . Clothe yourselves with the armor of right living, as those who live in the light.
NLT

Heather writes about this in Her Hands and puts it like this...
For years, there I was, walking around in my old, sinful clothes. Every day I would pray that God would help me stop sinning. I wanted Him to change me…I wanted out of my yucky, dirty, sinful clothes. So, I would strip down naked. I would take those old, icky clothes off. But I never put clean ones on to replace the yucky ones. So, I would stand there, naked, cold, shivering…and my old, dirty clothes would start to look attractive again. It’s just easier to do what we know. It's easier to wear what we wore.
God is saying in scripture to get rid of our old clothes…BURN THEM…and PUT ON the clothes He has laid out for us. WHAT BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES they are! Our Father has great taste. This is why there is NEVER a passage about taking off sin that does not conclude with a passage about what to put on instead. God never leaves us naked! Never!


What I'm reminded I need to do is put something on it my sin's place. If I take off complaining, I need to put on thankfulness. If I take off harsh words, I need to put on kind words. If I take off bitterness, I need to put on tenderheartedness.
I'm so glad God doesn't tell us to strip off our clothes and stand there naked, aren't you?
Today is Monday.
Bulk Trash day.
I hope we can all haul our trash out, leave it on the curb, and wave goodbye!
Happy Bulk Trash Day!

Ephesians 3

I'm studying Ephesians, and this is what I read this morning...one of my favorite passages ever. I'm re-memorizing it (which should be an oxymoron, I know, but I'm keepin' it real.) This passage is so rich, I have to share it.
Eph 3:14-21

14 When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. 17 And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

20 Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. 21 May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen.
NLT

I'm a fan of the NLT. I like the way it reads. Rusty calls it a girly Bible, but it's not! However when I study a passage, I read it in other versions as well. I like reading the Amplified, the NIV, and the NAS. They are more accurately and precisely translated, I believe.
The way this starts out..."When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth." I love the awe you can hear in his pen, as Paul writes from prison. Are we awed by the wisdom and scope of God's plan? Are we awed that we are able to "come fearlessly into God's presence" (v. 12) who is the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth!? Thought God is close and an intimate friend, I never want to lose the awe of who He is and that He allows ME to come near to Him, that He would dwell in ME, that He would go to great lengths to save us, who never for an instant deserved Him.
"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit."
This is a verse that I am praying for many of us right now. I have a friend who has suffered back to back miscarriages, a friend whose husband has left her, a family in our church whose tiny baby died, and the list goes on of unspeakable tragedies. Yet God's migthy inner strength never runs out. He has unlimited resources. We scrape the bottom of our well pretty darn quickly! In our flesh, we throw our hands up and shout "I'm done!" because our fleshly resources are scarce. But his resources, fully available to us for the asking of the Holy Spirit, are limitless. Why do we try on our own? He can fill us and fill us and fill us with mighty inner strength. What a good and loving God!
"And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love."
I love the poetry of how the NLT puts this, but I also like the NIV and Amplified. They talk about being rooted and established in love or secured strongly in love. Without love, it's all for nothing. The Gospel, the foundation of all we stand on, is love. Do people who are not believers see love in us? Our roots, the foundation of who we are as new creations, has to be love! I love the word picture of our roots continuously drawing up love from His soil.
"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
His love is so great, we need His power to understand even a measure of it! We can't ever fully understand it! It's wide and long and high and deep. From out tiny, finite perspective, we can't totally get it. But when we get a taste of it, we are filled with life and power!
"Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. 21 May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages."
This is good...we serve a God who exceeds what our tiny imaginations can dream. Could I have dreamed up Rusty in a million years? Never! There are so many examples of this in our lives! They're only by HIS MIGHTY POWER AT WORK WITHIN US! Not by our own! We can't even dare to ask or hope for what He's capable of doing!
I fear sometimes we forget to give Him the glory. God forgive us! May He be given the glory in our lives! We exist for His own glory! As my dear friend would put it, we are glory-stealers. We try to steal His glory when He does more than we could dare to ask or hope for. Give God the glory today! Leave a comment (if anyone reads these long, Bible type posts) for what He's done in you! We need to practice more and more exhibiting constant thanksgiving and giving God glory for all He's done!

Deuteronomy 6: Love the Lord...

I decided to take the kids through the book of Deuteronomy this summer. I know, sounds daunting to me too, but one thing I know for sure is all that God said to the Israelites, he says to us, (because we're as ridiculous as they were sometimes) and I also see so much value in them getting the big picture of the Old Covenant and the New Covenant.
This week we came to Deuteronomy 6. This is a great passage of instructions given to parents.
Listen...
Deut 6:4-9
4 "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. 8 Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.


How much more specific and complete could this be? Talk about God's instructions when you're lying down, and when you're up, when you're at home, and when you're not...
Tie a reminder on your hand, wear them on your forehead, and write them on your doorposts.
Have we done that?
These were not instructions given to the Temple leaders in how to teach the children.
These were given to parents to teach their children about God.
Have we abdicated our God-given role to be our child's primary Bible teachers and shepherds to the church?
Our church reminds us all the time, they should only be re-inforcing what our kids are already learning at home.
Rusty and I are continuing to learn about how to do this better.
It's been an ever-involving process.
I do Bible verses or a lesson and prayer time with the kids in the morning each day before we start our school day.
Rusty does Bible teaching with the kids in the evening. We both know that Rusty is the lead teacher and is ultimately responsible for what our kids are learning in this house. I come alongside him and help him.
But this summer God has showed us the value of family worship.
We now have "mini-church" I guess you could call it, in the evening with all of us, even the little ones. We sing worship songs, and then Rusty gives a lesson. Sometimes we have drama, because our kids have always enjoyed acting out our lessons. (Last night John the Baptist (Jax) baptized Jesus (Rusty) while the dove/Holy Spirit came upon them (Emma, of course, it's an animal) and the voice of God spoke (Justus; it's pretty different to hear the voice of God in broken three-year-old language, but you get the picture.)
We're not saying our ways of doing this are the only and right way.
But we do know this...teaching our kids to Love the Lord with everything in them is THE thing we teach them. Everything else they learn from us has to take a backseat to this. If I started our school days without laying the foundation with time with Him and growing their knowledge and intimacy with Him, I would be showing them otherwise.
We did tangible things this past week, as you can see in the pictures, to remind us we need to write it on our doorposts, wear it on our foreheads, and talk about Him ALL THE TIME.
What are some ways that you guys are doing this? I love to hear how different families are teaching their kids...share!

Titus 2 kids

Titus 2 tells us that older men should teach the younger men, and older women should teach the younger women. We have taken that to heart in our church and in our lives. We have an intergenerational adult set-up, meaning past the youth group, we don't separate into college, young marrieds, older marrieds, singles, marrieds with big kids, marrieds with bigger kids, mid-life crisis group, drawing social security group, etc. (These are probably not the names above the Sunday School rooms, but you know what I'm talking about!) We have small groups, and we mix together, intertwining our lives, so that mentoring and being mentored happens more naturally. I have seen great fruit come from this!
Well, I started wondering, why don't we do that more with our kids? I mean, especially since kids are separated into very narrow age groups in schools, we think that their friends need to be very close in age to them. While there's nothing wrong with having friends in your stage of life or your age group, there's also great wisdom to be gained from older wiser friends as well!
I have to tell you, the Feldman kids (Megan and Tyler in pictures above) are the older, wiser friends for my kids. These kids rock my socks off! They love the Lord passionately. They have been well-trained in the Word, early in the morning before school, and in their everyday moments of life. It has taken root in their hearts. (I take notes when I talk to Moms like Shannan.) I have heard their prayers, and there is spiritual maturity there that I long to see in my kids at that age!
So I am taking every open opportunity to kidnap the Feldman kids and have them around my kids. My kids ADORE THEM!!! They look up to them...they hear them pray...they listen to their instruction...and they play and goof off together as well. We've had them both over to spend the night recently, and these are pictures of them in the morning, reading to my kids. In the picture of the boys, I told them to go do their Bible Study time together (something they both do daily at home) and Tyler is reading the Bible Story to Jax. What could be sweeter than this? And we all know that teaching our faith to others strengthens our walk with the Lord. So shouldn't our kids, if they are walking with the Lord, be modeling and assisting younger kids? All of our kids are now doing ministry together as well since the Feldmans have started going to the nursing home with us. They love old people too!!! And they want to be a blessing and light there with us! Love these people!
Why do we think our kids only want to be around kids just as young and foolish as they are? They long for and benefit from mentorship as much as we do!
Praise God for these older, and more spiritually mature kids!!! They're not perfect, so their Mama would say (because nobody's kids are) but their hearts and eyes are fixed on Jesus. That's all I want for my kids! These kids are told to "be a blessing" when they come to my house, and they seriously are! Last Sunday Rusty took all four of our kids plus Megan to HEB for our weekly shopping trip. (I know, is he crazy, or what?) Megan got a big kick out of this adventurous shopping trip! Rusty told me he wants to rent Megan out every time he takes the kids shopping.
I want my kids to be that kind of blessing in return to someone else! Thanks Feldmans!

Communication

Something that has been made clear to my recently is how mucho importante communication is in a home.
I feel like teaching my kids to really communicate with one another is on the top of my list right now. So much of conflict resolution depends on communication. We teach about communication in Countdown with our engaged couples, and have had countless marathon conversations at our table about how a couple communicates (or doesn't communicate.) They develop these patterns within their home.
I encounter the same problems in dealing with college girls and their roommate issues. Every single time a girl comes to me with a roommate problem, it boils down to COMMUNICATION (or lack thereof.) It's caused me to look back and realize what a lousy communicator I was with my college roommates. It's always easier to gossip about a roommate than pray for them and confront them in love, right?
It may be possible that many of us are grown, mature people, walking around, with disabled communication abilities. We could draw disability for it, I think, because people draw disability for some pretty bogus stuff (they come into my husband's office asking him to sign the papers, so they can get disability for like, color blindness.)
Anyway, as I teach my children to love each other, build each other up, encourage each other, navigate their way through daily conflicts, and most importantly share their faith, they need to know how to articulate these things.
How many of us would say: We know about God, we walk with God, we have a grasp on how we're saved, but we don't know how to articulate that well when the time comes.
COMMUNICATION!
I feel like I am equipping (or not equipping) my children for life, healthy relationships, strong marriages, and most importantly, being communicators of the Gospel when teaching them about communication on a daily basis.
I have two kids who are speech delayed. If you've read this blog for long, you know this about Justus. Sign Language was his first language, and about a year ago, he could barely put two words together. Now, he can be a faucet of words that won't stop flowing. Most we can understand, many we struggle to. But Praise the Lord, he can talk!
However, because his speech was so late in coming, and he still struggles to be understood, his first responses ingrained in him so far are still non-verbal.
For instance, if you've been to our house and Justus wants some attention from you, he probably has come up to you and done something physical to get your attention.
Some people are taken by surprise by this with my boys, but non-verbal kids do things a little differently. They are loud, scream a lot (oh, how we're working on this with Treston!) and in Justus' case- he pouts! When he couldn't communicate what he wanted, he would get easily frustrated or angry and act out, pout, whine, or give the silent treatment.
His ability to communicate has definitely improved, but words have always been more of an effort for Justus. I'm not as good at mind reading as he'd like me to be. So he is still more inclined to pout. He is disciplined for this, and has always been, but it's a struggle to break this pattern. Rather than communicating what he wants, he will pout.
Sometimes, as grown-ups, we're not much different.
We want everyone to read our minds. It takes more of an effort to communicate what we want, what hurts our feelings, and what we actually meant.
I'm still trying to teach my older kids, when a game they're playing, (like chase the girl and tease her relentlessly) is bothering her or hurting her feelings to COMMUNICATE that instead of coming straight to me.
I won't be there forever! I would be disabling them if I refereed every dispute and cleared up every miscommunication between them. I want them to say, without whining or yelling or tattling, "This game is hurting my feelings, Jax." or "I don't like it when you come into the bathroom without knocking" or "When my friends come over, can you stop running through the house naked?" (ha!) Instead of the normal "MOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
Is anyone feeling me?
It's honesty, put gently, not harshly. The Bible says to speak the truth in love. That's our goal.

We also have a strict rule about words in our house. It's Ephesians 4:29.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Boasting is our natural sin tendency. It starts VERY early! Building ourselves up, and tearing others down.
I wish I could say I had mastered this, but Lord help me! I confess this almost daily! So the kids and I have this standard for all of us in this house!
I am training them to build each other up! To have kind words ready on their tongue for their brother or sister. It's going to take a long time. (For me too.) But this is the standard of holiness we will adhere to! Of course we fall short so often, but God is renewing our minds and hearts.
So we're learning around here...learning how to really communicate, in a loving, honest, and encouraging way.
It's a tall order. But thankfully, I don't have to do this in my own power.
And I want to send out grown children who are equipped to communicate effectively, honestly, and promptly in their lives.
Any tips, older, wiser Moms?

A True Wife and the Persecuted Church

I got to reconnect with an old friend this weekend. It was so great! I remembered all the reasons we were friends in the first place, long before we were "grown-ups" and Moms. She and I were friends, dating back to about 1992. We ended up getting married six years later in the same summer, singing in each other's weddings, having our first few babies at the same time, and it seemed our lives were taking the exact same paths. Both of us married believers, Christian leaders, that promised to love us as Christ loved the church, and lead us to Him.
But that's not how it turned out for her. I don't want to tell her whole story. It's not mine to tell. But in short, her marriage deteriorated, she was betrayed in the worst possible way, and she was left to be a single mother in the end.
In talking with her this weekend, she was sharing with me what it was like to be a wife in a hurting, struggling marriage.
She told me that even her ex-husband would attest to the fact that she was the best wife of their entire marriage in the last three years, when it was the hardest.
She fully understood something that I teach semester after semester to college and engaged girls about being a wife...that submitting to, following, and loving our husband is an act of obedience and worship to the Lord, not to our husband.
She loved him purely out of choice, as she put it.
She loved him when she got nothing but hurt in return.
She served him when he was unworthy of her service.
She followed him when his leading was foolish.
I sat there, realizing, this now unmarried woman knows so much more about being a wife than this happily married woman. She has put real feet to what I teach and know to be true about our callings as wives.
I know that loving and following and submitting to Rusty is as unto the Lord. Rusty's not perfect. But I have to admit...he's made it pretty easy for me. I don't know what it's like to love Rusty and not feel loved by him.
He's totally smitten with me for some reason, and always lets me know it.
I don't know what it's like to follow Rusty when he's leading with a disregard for Godly wisdom.
Do I need to say again? He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. Our marriage isn't perfect.
But it's happy. It's healthy. And we strive to honor God in it.
So I have such great respect for the wives I know who are honoring God in this situation.
Would I be the same wife if those were my circumstances? I honestly don't know. I kind of doubt it.
Yet I can't imagine the spiritual growth that took place for her during those years.
I felt like this was such a parallel to being a Christian in America versus living the Christian life under persecution.
I love that our church prays for specific persecuted believers around the world during our prayer hour before services. If you're interested in how to do this, go to www.persecution.com, and hear "the voice of the martyrs." Real people living under horrific persecution, beyond our imagination, today, right now. Beaten, loved ones taken from them, imprisoned (and not in cush American prisons), and even killed. Husbands. Pastors. Mothers. Children. This is so far from our reality, it's hard to imagine.
We've been studying the life of Stephen in Acts at church as well.
Talking about persecution makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it.
It makes me a little fearful. Because we don't even understand what it is here in America. Persecution to us is being made fun of! How ridiculous is that?
The Bible says we WILL endure persecution, and it may very well come looking for us here in America someday.
I'm going to be honest. I'm a wimp. I hope not to be alive in that day.
But we know that persecution grew and fostered incredible growth in the church in Bible times.
We know that persecution is as real as ever in parts of Asia today, and the church is spreading like wildfire. The church doesn't grow in spite of persecution, I think it might grow because of it.
What kind of a REAL Christian would you have to be?
Would I be the same kind of Christian that I am today?
It's so convicting, I don't even know what to do with it.
I pray God would made me faithful in all these regards. Without Him, I can't be.
Thankfully, we're never left to do anything on our own.

Prayer and Fasting

2 Chron 7:14-15
14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.

God is teaching me to pray.
To pray more, to pray harder.
To pray in the Spirit, to pray longer.
He's teaching me to rely on prayer, because I can't control or manipulate events or my life or people to work together for His good.
I can only pray.
As I mentioned before, we are planting two new churches from Living Hope.
Rusty and I are apart of the Core Group for the new church in College Station.
This is exciting!
We met together yesterday for a vision sharing time.
Wow! God was there...I felt such unity and excitement among us.
One of the men challenged us with the above verse- to know and meditate on.
So I am.
Because we can't make a move without much prayer.
We are truly powerless to do any good thing without the Lord.
Later on in 2 Chronicles, chapter 20, there is the story of King Jehoshephat.
He was a king that pleased the Lord.
A great army was on its way to attack his kingdom, and immediately, he gathers up all the people, men, women, and children, before the Temple to seek God.
It stood out to me that he says this to God:
2 Chron 20:11-12
12 O our God, won't you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help."
We are powerless.
He had his own army.
He could have gathered them up and had a peprally.
But instead they got on their faces and admitted they were powerless.
We are also powerless.
I'm powerless to be a good Mom today.
I need Him desperately.
We are powerless to start a new church that will reach new people and do a God work without Him...obviously.
But God is our source of ALL power, and because we know Him, He lives in us!!!
The power of the Holy Spirit can raise the dead, and He lives in us.
Isn't it about time we started living and walking in POWER?!
So God's teaching me more of what it means to really pray and expect big things.
Do we fail to pray for miraculous healing? Why?
Because we don't pray believing and in faith.
Finish reading 2 Chron. 20 and see how they prayed believing, and counted wholeheartedly on what God told a man among them He would do.
I don't think I even ask God for big enough things, because my vision is short, my expectations too small sometimes.
I want to learn the power of PRAYER in FAITH!
God is doing good things in and through me when I'm on my face in desperate prayer.
I want more of that.
And I especially want that as we start this new church and seek to find out exactly what new thing God wants to do through us.
If we try to do any of it in our own power and understanding, it will fall flat.
I am aware that God doesn't have to commune with us so intimately in prayer, but He does! Praise God!

Fasting
Can I confess, I like food a lot.
And I have not fasted enough in my life because of that.
God is seriously teaching me the power of fasting and prayer.
God speaks to me my need for Him and prayer, and I hear Him more clearly when I'm fasting.
Why? I don't know.
I know that I need Him more than food, more than air, more than anything!
I am more aware of that when I'm fasting.
All I know is God asks us to do it.
The Word doesn't say "If you fast..." it says "When you fast."
It's an assumed part of our walk.
It truly is powerful.
I don't always fast for an entire day. Sometimes it's just a good portion of the day and I ask the Lord to show me when I'm done and when I can eat.
But even a fast for one meal for more devoted prayer is effective to me.
I don't want to be legalistic about fasting and follow rules for the sake of rules.
But I am hungry for the intimate time of prayer that I have with the Lord when I do it.
It's something I'm slowly getting better at.
When I first started, I constantly thought about hunger.
I feel like it's a discipline we have to learn.
Our Core Group is considering fasting collectively on Fridays so that we can pray earnestly together and seek God's face as one body.
I have no doubt He's going to speak to us through that and honor our desire for deeper prayer time.
Is this harder for a Mom who has to continue to feed children all day and can't go to a prayer room alone while fasting?
YES! But it's still good. He's showing me how to do this.
I want to challenge you, because I have been more challenged, to do this when you feel led to.
Remember, it's not if, but when.
(FYI: If you're pregnant, look into other kinds of "fasts" that may help focus your prayer time. I don't think you should abstain from food while you're pregnant.)

I want my life to be marked by prayer and fasting.
I want my children to grow up knowing the power of it.
I think our lives will be greatly changed by it.
I want to hear God's voice clearly, and see Him move.
I want to be apart of what He's doing, and not miss any of it!
I desperately want to be a woman of prayer.

The Flip Side: Wise Speech

Don't you wish there was an occasional no talking rule.
Like when you get yourself into a situation and you've said something horrible; you could go back, rewind, and somewhere...maybe in your head...a buzzer would go off, and instantly the no talking rule would go into effect. This would prevent us from saying terrible, humiliating, insensitive, or hurtful things.
Unfortunately, this would still not work for me. I know sign language. I would start signing.
The rest of us women, we'd start playing a killer game of charades. Sometimes we just can't seem to stop ourselves.
Proverbs 16:28 says a truly wise person uses few words. Ouch.
But there's good news. Even though there are times we need to stop talking, we also can learn to put on wise speech.
We don't have to become mimes!!! Yay! Those people are so annoying and scary!

Take Off/Put On
When we take something off, we need to put something on to replace it. You will see this pattern in the New Testament a lot now if you look for it. It will say 'stop doing this, and INSTEAD, start doing more of this!' Voila!
This verse illustrates it best, and I'll tell you how we teach it in Her Hands.
Rom 13:12
Get rid of your evil deeds. Shed them like dirty clothes . Clothe yourselves with the armor of right living, as those who live in the light.
Heather always tells the girls, when you take off a sin or sin pattern, your dirty, nasty clothes, you will stand there, naked, cold, unsure of what to do.
You can only stand there like that for so long. So then we just do what we know to do. We put back on the dirty clothes.
In reality, there are beautiful, clean, shining clothes for us to put on in their place. We just have to learn how to do that.

No Running!
We've been hitting the pool hard now that summer has arrived! It's so great!
My kids have to learn the rules of the pool though.
Rule #1 for the public pool. No running.
I realized in the last few weeks, when I tell my 1 and 3 year old "No Running!" They don't really get it.
Kids run wherever they go. They run to their room. They run to the bathroom.
This is their regular form of travel. To get from point A to B, they run.
I don't think they even realize they do it. So when I'm telling my energetic boys "No Running!" they look at me like "How do you expect me to get there?"
So I've started telling them "Walk Slowly!" And I'm trying to practice walking slowly with them at the pool. Treston hasn't quite caught on yet, but by August I'm certain he will.
Instead of yelling out to them what not to do and explaining the dangers of running while slippery wet(completely lost on them, of course) I'm telling them what TO do.
I think that computes in their brains a little better.
We know what NOT to do, but what do we do?

Why are we doing this in the first place?
Ps 15:1-3
Who may worship in your sanctuary, LORD?
Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
2 Those who lead blameless lives
and do what is right,
speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
3 Those who refuse to slander others
or harm their neighbors
or speak evil of their friends.

Are we doing this so that we can eliminate those embarrassing moments when we say moronic things? Or to make ourselves better Christians?
No. We want to walk more intimately with the Father.
I want to enter His presence daily and worship in intimacy with Him.
When habitual sin is stuck on me, I feel distant from Him.
I want to walk in holiness.
In the Old Testament, when someone entered the Temple's sanctuary unpure,
they were killed on the spot! (Numbers 18:7)
We need to confess this sin to God, and let His Spirit do it's powerful work in us to change us and make us look more like Him!
I want to speak the truth in love, like this verse says, refusing to slander others, harm them, or speak evil of them.
I want to be what Ephesians 4:29 tells us to be, building others up according to their needs with my words, always encouraging them.
Do you know anyone like this?
I can think of a few people, and they've always amazed me.
But we do this not to be admired by others, but out of REVERENCE for Christ.

The Search for Wisdom
We want wise speech, so where do we start?
There's so many good verses, not to mention the book of Proverbs as a whole.
I'll give a few of these to get us started.
Reverence for the Lord is the fountain of true wisdom. The rewards of wisdom come to all who obey him. Psalm 111:10
Reverence could be defined as a feeling of profound awe and respect because of God's holiness. God arouses a feeling of reverence in those who worship and serve Him!
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2
Pride is the enemy of wisdom!!!
Job talks about the value of wisdom in Job 28:12-28 "...The fear of the Lord, that is wisdom. And to shun evil is understanding."
The fear of the Lord is mentioned in conjunction with wisdom over and over and over.
Read Proverbs 2:1-11 in how to attain wisdom.
So we've got a jumping off point, and as always, int points to our hearts, not our actions.
-Reverence
-Humility
-Fear of the Lord
Prov 28:26

26 Trusting oneself is foolish, but those who walk in wisdom are safe.
Sometimes I just need God to save me from my own, man-made, worldly wisdom.
It's not wisdom at all unless it comes from the Lord.
It is amazing to me to read the Word and realize His wisdom is so freely given to us!
1 Cor. 2 talks about God's secret wisdom, that once was hidden, but is not revealed to us by his Spirit.
True wisdom comes from God's Spirit! Time and age won't garuntee it. But we can have the mind of Christ, as talked about in 1 Cor. 2!
And I just LOVE Ephesians 1!
Eph 1:6-8
7 He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.
I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

And Colossians 2...
Col 2:2-3
2 My goal is that they will be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have full confidence because they have complete understanding of God's secret plan, which is Christ himself. 3 In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. NLT
ALL the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found in Him!

As always, James says it plainly.
James 1:5
5 If you need wisdom — if you want to know what God wants you to do — ask him, and he will gladly tell you.

James 3:17
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere.

I could go on, because there's so much good stuff to tell us what wisdom is.
I want to put on wisdom, in my heart, searching for it desperately at all times, so THAT is what comes out of my mouth.
I want to eliminate my idle words.
I'm not going to lie. I feel incredibly distant from that goal.
But God promises to grant us wisdom, and understand, if we will ask Him for it.
I'm asking.

The Words of My Mouth

In my "Cleaning House" post, I mentioned that I still needed to grow in the area of glorifying God with my speech, so JUST IN CASE anyone else needs this as well, I'm going to write my study on this here on the blog.
This is all directed to me! God has done great things in my life in this area in the past, but I need to keep growing! I want him to keep changing me!
A verse we quote daily in our house is Ephesians 4:29.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Is this convicting for anyone else? Everything I say...EVERYTHING...should benefit those who listen. It should build others up. I say this to my kids constantly, but it needs to be the rule for me as well. Our words should build each other up. Does that mean we never say the hard things? No! Speaking truth in love can certainly build someone up. Giving them truth from the Word when needed can build them up. But we should be fortifying others with our speech.
Let me hit you with another whammy!

Ps 19:14
4 May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

Anyone wish it just said words there?
Even if we could rein in our tongues...that's not enough! We need to cleanse our thoughts. Jesus came to tell us actions are not enough. Our hearts are what matters.
If we commit adultery in our heart, we have committed adultery. If we hate our brother, we are guilty of murder in our heart. (Matt. 5)
So what we think and allow ourselves to meditate on is EQUALLY important.

Need a filter?
I used to think I needed a filter. You know, something would come out of my mouth that, at some point, I wish hadn't (this used to happen to me A LOT!) and I would literally say "If only I had a filter between my brain and my mouth."
I could give you at least 5 humiliating stories off the top of my head of me saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. They would amuse you, but it was not a good thing.
If only I'd filtered that first! If I could have purchased one on the internet, I would have payed good money for it.
When I said I needed a filter, what I meant was, it was okay to think those things, as long as I didn't say them outloud. Or if I said them outloud, I should have just said them to someone else that I trusted with my malicious talk.
I was wrong.
In general, we women talk too much. I've heard it said that we say like 10,000 words a day while men say like 4,000. I believe it.
We like to talk. But this gets us in trouble. Our sinful inclination is often gossip and speech that does NOT build up and fortify.
Where does this come from?
Our heart.
People know us from our words. We represent Christ with every word that comes out of our mouth.
I can't get this right without asking him to purify my HEART.
Ugly words come from ugliness in our heart.
Instead of filtering the impurities from what I say, I need to filter them from my heart.
Matt 15:18-20
18 But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. 19 For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.

Luke 6:45
45 A good person produces good deeds from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil deeds from an evil heart. Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.

This is pretty plain, isn't it? Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.
In Matthew 15, he jumps from evil words and thoughts to murder, adultery, sexual immorality, and theft! Whoa! We were just talking about unholy thoughts! What happenned? All of these sins are born in our thoughts. They can start with a seed of impure thoughts, and they grow and flourish, take root in us, and become more than we ever thought they would.
We must examine our hearts!!!

What's the root?
Nothing comes out of our mouths that hasn't already been meditated on in our minds.
We've said it in our inner monologue.
What are we allowing ourselves to meditate on?
Do we allow ourselves to harbor anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness, brewing on it until we erupt?

Eph 4:31-32
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

What's the root sin?
So often for me it's pride. That's at the root of most of my sin.
Sometimes it is just self-satisfying to say and think things. It's gratifying to my self-absorbed way of thinking. I can make myself look good and others look bad.
I can feel a little justified when I've been wronged.
Sometimes it's really funny! I might want to say it purely for the entertainment value.
But it's not fortifying. It's not building anyone up...except me. (So I think.)
But Jesus was very plain in telling us how seriously God takes this.
Here's another whammy. Brace yourself. It's a big one.

Matt 12:36-37
36 And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every idle word you speak. 37 The words you say now reflect your fate then; either you will be justified by them or you will be condemned."
NLT

Idle words. I think I have a lot of those. A high percentage of my 10,000 daily, I'm sure.
But how could we be justified or condemned based on our words?
Because they reflect our hearts. What is in our hearts has a direct and swift expressway to our mouths.
Sometimes, there's not much traffic to slow them down.
They're in the HOV lane, flying at high speed, and we allow it.
We've got some construction work to do.

Backdoor slander

Prov 10:11
11 The words of the godly lead to life; evil people cover up their harmful intentions.

WARNING: We are good at finding backwards ways of saying what we want to without it seeming malicious. Wow! We're tricky!
You know, how sometimes "prayer requests" are shared for the purpose of sharing information, not really with the intent of anyone praying about it?
Also, an old church lady way to do this is to start a statement: "Bless her heart..."
You know? We have a way of wrapping harmful speech up in a pretty package and trying to make it seem okay.
I hate that I'm this crafty with my sin! But it's true.
We all do it. We need to recognize sin, even when wrapped up with a bow on it.
What's inside is still ugly.

Take Off/ Put On
Anyone feeling crappy about themselves now?
Don't! There's hope for us all.
God tells us what sin to strip off, but He also tells us what to put on in it's place.
Isn't His Word good?
So as we ask Him to cleanse our thoughts, we first ask the Holy Spirit (if we know Christ, He lives in us!) to help us recognize sinful thoughts. We replace them with the thoughts of the Spirit.
Rom 8:5-7
5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace.

We take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5) We lasso them with a giant rope and throw them in the trash. We discipline our minds as soon as we learn to recognize it.
This takes practice. When I first started doing this, I would start to say things and stop often. I still do.
I don't stutter. That's me hearing the Holy Spirit.
And sometimes I choose to sin and just keep talking or thinking. I'm not done with this yet!
At first, we may just need to learn to be quiet.
I have prayed this verse so often.
Ps 141:3
Take control of what I say, O LORD,
and keep my lips sealed.
We can ask the Holy Spirit to stand guard over our hearts and minds. He will!
The more you do this, the quicker you learn to hear Him tell you to shut it down or shut up.
But we simultaneously learn to put on wise speech.
My next post will be about that.
In Proverbs 31, it says that "when she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instruction."
I want that to me ME!!!!
So that' what I'll go over next.
Comment if God is speaking to you and changing you as well.
Let's encourage each other.

Cleaning House

We had an amazing service at Living Hope this weekend!
It is an exciting time in the life of our church because we are expanding LH by planting two new churches in our area. We are asking God to help us reach people in our community we are not yet reaching. The whole body is praying about where they should serve- whether in a Core Group of a new church plant, or to step up to service within our existing body. Rusty and I are so excited because God has given us some direction as to where we should be and a vision for that. We can't wait to see what God is about to do!
But our message this week, as we have been in Acts recently, was on Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. This falls in the midst of the early church seeing AMAZING works of the Holy Spirit among them, people being saved in mass, healings left and right, and great persecution of their leaders for spreading the Gospel. Then comes Acts 5, with husband and wife, Ananias and Sapphira. They were members of the early church who tried to deceive the church leaders about how much money they were giving to the church. The apostles called them out on it immediately, and they dropped dead right there, in front of the whole church, by God's swift judgment. Whoa.
Admittedly, by our pastor and everyone else, this is a difficult passage to understand. But what we took from it was very good.
First, Ananias and Sapphira were misrepresenting their faithfulness.
Why?
Butch gave two likely reasons. PRIDE and LACK OF FEAR OF THE LORD.
Pride. They wanted to look good. Seeking praise from men and not God. I can find Pride at the root of almost all of my sin issues. Fear of the Lord. Not something we talk about a lot.
Butch asked us if we are misrepresenting our faithfulness to others...making it seem as if we are not struggling with sin?
I sure hope not! Without question, I have sin that I'd like to see eradicated in my life, desperately!
Not too long ago, a sweet lady from our church visited my home for a meeting for the first time. It was after my baby was in bed, and the big kids were pretty quiet. (very rare occurence) She said something to me that struck me. She said "you make all of this look effortless."
Effortless???
That was the very last word I would use to describe my life.
She was, of course, paying me a compliment and it was very kind of her.
But I wondered, am I inadvertently putting off a false image?
Not for people who are in my home regularly. They see the real deal up-close, and we're not hiding anything. My HOPE group, my college girls, they know what's going on around here. But for the people who don't know us as well, I want to make it clear.
I have shared some of my sin struggles on this blog, and more personally, I have a husband and friends that I regularly dump my junk on. But I really don't want to make my life look effortless.
It's not a burden. It's not a pain. It's not miserable.
It's joyful. It's my favorite job ever. It's a blessing.
But it certainly takes more effort than I humanly have.
It's hard, and there are days I feel like a big, fat failure.

Cleaning House
Butch encouraged us not to let any seemingly small sin take hold in our life...not to let what others might deem acceptable or common or not a big deal SIN take root.
He asked what sin could we be more guarded against in our own life?
That was an easy answer for me. Taming my tongue.
God had already started speaking to me about it in my prayer walk before church.
God has grown me so much in this area over the last five years! Praise God! But sometimes when that happens, I become satisfied with that growth, and don't ask God to take me the rest of the way to BLAMELESS, HOLY, AS HE IS HOLY. That should be what we are striving for!
Like Paul says here...
Phil 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
NIV
I want to see God continue to clean me out, and for me to press on toward the goal! No one (except some of you crazies out there) likes to clean house. But isn't the result so good? Aren't you so glad you did? I am. And I know whatever God wants to do in us before we join Him in this new work is going to be productive.

Seeing praise from men...this is also what I refer to as the people-pleasing disease. We women are particularly afflicted with it.
There are several good verses to cling to if this is an issue for anyone else.
The end of Romans 2 is talking about a true heart change, not just a following of rules, and it end with:
"Whoever has that kind of change seeks praise from God, not from people." Romans 2:29
Also...
"Obviously, I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to pleae God. If I were still trying to please people I would not be Christ's servant."
Galatians 1:10

I am excited to see God clean house, in my life and other's in our church! I want to see God unleash his power in a new and fresh way on us! He has burdened our hearts for the lost in a deeper way than ever before! We are evaluating everything in our lives, and how to make the Great Commision the driving force behind all of it!
Reading the above pictured book while studying the book of Acts simultaneously has blown my mind! Wow! I beg all of you to read this book by K.P. Yohannan, founder of Gospel for Asia. I see why our church is giving them away for free and has been begging us to read it!
God has been showing me so much in the last month, I don't feel like I can keep up! But it's so good! So stinkin' good!

Day 1 of Oprah Show

Just to recap, Heather and I are watching Oprah for a week. Heather asked me if I would participate in checking this new stuff out on Oprah, but also to see what it is about her that draws millions of viewers, so many women, Christian and non-Christian, to her 5 times a week. Heather pointed out that many Christian women will defend her to the death, and are more faithful to watching her than they are to church or Bible Study. Anything that is that big of a deal, we should probably carefully evaluate what we're thinking.
So this week I am watching and evaluating. I have NOT read Heather's post about Day 1 yet. I want to give my honest thoughts, and then we'll see what both of us are taking from this.

Her first guest was Jamie Lee Curtis. I like her. I like her children's books. They are not a source of biblical truth or anything, but I like them. She has adopted kids. I like that too.
Here's one of my first thoughts, interjected here:
It's okay to like lost people.
It's okay to like Oprah. It's okay that I like Jamie Lee Curtis. I used to like Rosie O'Donnell and her show way back when. (I was pregnant and on bedrest with Jax, so I watched it daily for a while.) I know Rosie is a lesbian. I know Oprah is an adultress. I know Jamie Lee Curtis showed her boobs in movies. They're lost. I could be any one of those things but for the grace of God. I was a sinner in need of a Savior, just like them. I think it's arrogant of us to think differently.
Lost people are likable too. They can be funny, entertaining, and smart, like saved people.
However, we can't idolize them. We can't be so enamored with them that we start allow their ideas and views to seep into our minds as acceptable and good.
This is a fine line we need to be aware of.
Jamie Lee Curtis had some good things to say about aging, and not being caught up in the outward appearance. I've heard her talk about this before on a talk show. I like that! What a rare message in Hollywood! But she and Oprah agreed that it's all about finding your "authentic self." Be who you are, and whoever that is is okay. Whatever works for YOU, in all the choices you make in life, is part of your authentic self, and that is the god you bow down to. (I don't think they put it quite that way. My interpretation.)
That's not true. We can't say what ever feels right for US is okay. Sin can feel good and right. When we gratify ourselves, it feels good. When we make ourselves the boss and the king of our lives, the world will applaud, with Oprah starting the standing ovation. That doesn't mean they don't do altruistic and wonderful humanitarian things. They do! That's what's tricky about it. But I know enough of the Oprah religion to know that being the best YOU you can be can mean making decisions that don't honor God. We're either for Him, or against Him. If we're for ourself, we're against God. We can't serve two masters. But we as Christians know, He's for us, and that's where our authentic, unique, true self is found. Our identity in Christ, not in self-promotion and being empowered as a woman in the worldly sense. It's an illusion promising happiness and self-fulfillment. It's not real. Our only joy and peace is found in putting God on the throne of our lives.


The second guest was Salma Hayek. It's hard to find pictures of these people without their boobs hanging out! (Hey, I just wrote boobs two times in this one post. That's funny!)
She is so beautiful! I love her accent as well.
She had some things to say about motherhood that I liked and didn't like.
I liked that she was enjoying motherhood.
I hated that she said that it was ideal to wait until you are older and find yourself, achieve things, love yourself basically, first.
That's a lie. We can argue that case on many points.
When the topic turned to marriage (or lack thereof for she and Oprah alike) it bothered me even more.
I've heard this same coversation many times before in past years about marriage on her show.
Salma says being a woman is hard. I think being a woman is great. Let's stop acting like being female is a hardship. In this day, it certainly is not!
This is what I was hearing about marriage:
Marriage, it's so optional. It's far from necessary in their eyes.
We are good enough and strong enough as women on our own, and don't need the validation of a man. One of them said you "keep your power" by not marrying a man.
It's "sexy" not to marry, but once you marry you lose the spark and excitement.
Salma and her fiance live across an ocean from each other, but it's so good, because she has more time to devote to her baby, herself, and her career.
Of course, we as Christians should know the truth about marriage.
But do we? Do we filter this message immediately through the Word of God, or do you allow it to wander around in your brain, look for a weak spot to infiltrate, like a disease looking for a weak immune system. How strong is our spiritual immune system?
The older I get and more I mature in my walk, the better I think. But not rock solid at all times, in every moment.
I remember watching an Oprah show about the evils of spanking when I was a young mother, and it terrified me. I thought I was a child abuser. I called my friend Leanna (Godly counsel) and said "remind me why we do this?" She brought me to God's Word, and I was reminded of what loving discipline can look like in that context. But it shook me up! It confused me! I was vulnerable there. I was a young Mom and I had a weak spot.
Where are your weak spots? Where is your spiritual immune system low? If your marriage is experiencing trouble and you struggle with contentment and satisfaction because of it, stay far, far away from media like this!!! The messages about marriage, self-empowerment and fulfillment, your authentic self, being true to you, will beat down that weak spot until it can't stand it anymore.
God's Word can stand the test! He can give you an answer for what you believe, but if you're feeding your flesh with this stuff more than you're feeding your Spirit with His Word and prayer, then you won't make it!
I was talking with a friend last night about her experiencing a deep depression brought on by a medicine she was taking. It brought her to a crisis in her faith. She felt purpose-less, doubting everything she knew to be true about God. How hard would it be for the Enemy to take a person in this position, and twist their thinking? Not hard.
We must guard ourselves! We must guard our hearts and minds.
I'm interested to see this "New Earth" business on Wednesday, "awakening to life's purpose." I'm scared already.
I didn't get to it today, but I want to write later on about the dangers of celebrity worship.
That concludes my Monday Oprah thoughts. There you have it.

To Train a Child

Prov 22:6
6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
This post is not about how to rear children, because I am right in the midst of that learning process. Maybe, hopefully, when I'm older I will have some fruit of these years, and can share some successes. But for now, I'm just holding onto the Lord daily, praying fervently, begging for wisdom everywhere I turn, wanting what's best for my kiddos, just like all of you (with children.) But I want to share with you what God is teaching us. One thing I have been mindful of a lot lately is what we are training our children in. They are all students, sitting in our classroom, soaking up what we are teaching, whether we mean to be or not. Incredibly frightening, isn't it? If parenting doesn't scare the crud out of you, what does?
The Bible says to train a child in the way he should go, and then he won't depart from it.
What is the way he should go?
Deut 6:4-9
4 "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. 8 Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Matt 22:37-40

37 Jesus replied, " 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40 All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."
So far, if you are a Christian parent like me, you know these verses. This is all very 'Duh.'
But how is this lived out?
Recently, our worship leader, Aaron, wrote in our church newsletter about worship. He wrote about how worship is not just what we do at church. It's not something we try to fit into our lives.
We ARE worshipping all the time.
But what are we worshipping?
And what are we teaching our children to worship?
How do we define worship?
One of dictionary.com's definitions is "to regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion."
So what do we show our kids is important to us?
We have all trained our kids in something. Some of them can show adoring esteem to your alma mater on command at the age of 2.
Some of them know more about nutrition than I do, and are trained well in what to eat.
Some of them have been trained in politeness and manners so they don't embarrass us or act like punks. (Who wants punk kids? Not me!)
Some of them are trained that education is everything. They are trained and on the path to the right college.
Some of them are in training to become professional athletes. They know sports is what gets the ardent devotion. It trumps everything else.
Some are trained to please themselves. Do what makes you happy. We've never taught them to step outside of themselves to care for the needy. In fact, they don't know that the needy exist. (I remember when our kids thought all of Mexico was the resorts we had visited. They didn't understand why Daddy needed to go there and do mission work? Those people were living the good life! Ouch.)
Over the past few years, Rusty and I have been asking ourselves, what are we training our kids in?
What do we give ardent devotion to in the everyday. Does God just get our weekend? Or is He woven into everything we do?
Have we built our lives and are trying to fit God into in somewhere, or are we building our lives ON HIM, and only doing what He is asking of us?
Our kids are sponges. They learn quickly, and they are not hard to train.
But Rusty and I have had to take steps back and realize that sometimes we have trained them in the wrong things, or with the wrong attitudes.
For example, in our earlier years of parenting, we were teaching obedience and good behavior, but not for the glory of God and obedience to His Word. Just to have good kids. We had to backtrack.
Also, we have been re-evaluating our time in front of the TV. Aaron wrote a great post on that recently that I will be writing more about soon. But as Heather wrote, I also let my first child watch WAY too much TV. We had it on all the time. I shudder just thinking about how foolish that was. When we moved here in 2003 it seemed a good time to turn over a new leaf, and my children quickly became accustomed to no TV during the day. It's never on during the day. That's just a general rule around here. We never let them watch live TV. I can't predict what's going to happen not only during a show, but during the commercial break. We turned off the TV, and started having family meals at the table in silence. That was five years ago. (We've since allowed some bad night time TV habits creep in, but I'll write about that later in the week.) I was teaching my kids to be slothful and that mindless activity is all good. It's not.
In our earlier parenting years, I cared more about what clothes they wore. They had more GAP and Gymboree clothing. As God grew us, we realized these things are NOT important. Not even close. We weren't going to teach our kids and spend our money foolishly just to impress our friends at church or keep up with the Jones', whoever they are. I avoid Gymboree like the plague, no matter what deals they offer, and when the kids need clothes, they are the cheapies.
I could go on. God has stopped us in our tracks, over and over, and re-taught us how to submit everything to Him.
If we want our kids to know that Bible Study and prayer are important, we have to not only let them wake-up every morning to us in the Word, but we have to teach and equip them to do it themselves on a daily basis. It's not going to happen magically when they get older. I want them to see prayer and Bible Study as the most normal part of their day. Like breakfast.
But it's too easy to train them in the world's ways. I don't want that. That means we have to talk with them more. If I want them to connect to the Body of Christ, then I have to treat their role in the church as importantly as I do mine and Rusty's.
While I'm driving to church on Saturday nights, trying to shake off the craziness of getting four kids dressed, fed, and off on time, I pray and ask God to prepare my heart for worship and see opportunities to meet visitors or someone who needs a word or a smile from me.
I became convicted that I needed to do the same for my kids. So I also am asking them to pray on the way to church, asking God the same things. One of the first times we did that, we pulled up to church and Emma befriended a little girl visiting and asked her if she wanted to sit with us. The guys who brought her were so relieved and told us it was an answer to prayer for Emma to take care of her. It was her first time, and they weren't planning on bringing her. Her Mom just sent her with them. And it was her birthday!!!!! Can you imagine? So Emma got to see the immediate fruit of that prayer. What a blessing!
I also was recently convicted that I haven't been sending their Bibles with them to church. They use them daily at home, but I was afraid they would lose them at children's church in the mass of children, games, and moving rooms. But it's important to have your Bible ready to read in worship for us, and it is for them also. So I sent their Bibles with them last night. They didn't lose them, and they got to practice using them during their story time.
I would love it if any of you would share how God is challenging you in this area as well. I want Him to open my eyes to every part of our lives where we are worshiping someone or something else, and in turn, training my children to do the same.
What gets our attention?
What do we get excited about?
When do our children see us beaming with pride at them?
What is a priority in time spent as a family?
We can say God is first, but are we trying to squeeze God in, or letting everything in our lives overflow from a love relationship with Him?
What is getting our ardent or adoring esteem or devotion?

Creativity (super creative title, hu?)

The kids and I were lying on the trampoline earlier tonight playing the cloud game. You know, where you look at the clouds and say what you see.
(You meteorologists are thinking something totally different than the rest of us.)
Jax immediately said he saw a battle, and a giant alligator.
The rest of them spouted something off as well.
What did I see? I didn't know...I kept looking...and looking...why didn't I see anything?
It took me a while, but I saw something as well. I saw an eye.
Kids are so creative! They're born with creativity just waiting to bust out!
This morning, we had the opportunity to go to the church my brother Chris pastors, and my brother Robbie leads worship there. We saw Chris' oldest, Hanna, be baptized and take her first communion. It was special and wonderful.
Ecclesia is in the heart of Houston on Taft Street. It is a hub of creativity.
Art lines the wall. Creativity is seeping through the rustic, cracked interior of the building.
At Ecclesia, they actually have a table to paint at during worship. They see art as a form of worship. And why not? Now granted, that wouldn't fly at every church. It fits at Ecclesia. It would fit at some churches in our conservative military university town almost as well as Democrats. But my kids were all over it.
They were in Easter clothes, which weren't new or fancy, but the looked cute. Emma was even wearing a little white sweater over her dress. When they asked to paint and I voted yes, Rusty looked at me like "what?" However, he got on board quickly because Rusty is an artist at heart and one of the most creative people I know. Pretty remarkable since he's also a science nerd too.
We explained to them that it was a form and act of worship to do so. Emma was on it! She painted passionately for a good part of the service. The boys dabbled in it as well. Rusty and I both wanted them to have the unique experience of worship through art like this, despite the mess. Now today, there were mostly minors seated at the painting table, but I know that's not true all of the time, because amazing art lines the walls of the sanctuary. Art is highly valued in their community. Expressive and explosive paintings are everywhere, and many are painted by an artist in their church that we've known for years. (My brothers are lucky enough to have her art in their homes as well.)
I'm not proposing that we set up an art center at all of our churches. That works in Montrose, but not everywhere. But where is our creativity, grown-ups? Why do kids look at clouds and see a million things, and we have to study them?
Why do we overflow with creativity when we're young, and are deplete of it when we're grown?
Where does it go?
How are we allowing our creativity to be sucked out of us?
And what's it for? IT'S FOR GOD.
Every good gift He's given us is meant to bring Him glory, to make Him famous.
But our creative button is broke, so I'm learning that my kids know a lot better how to worship God than I do.
We think worship is an hour on Sunday morning, from 11-12. Or we think it's just the music segment of our service.
Where did we get that idea? Is God insulted that we have narrowed the concept of worship to that, or what?
Worship is a lifestyle. As our worship leader has recently reminded us, we are all worshipping something or someone all of the time. I'm afraid too much of the time, I am worshipping my own pleasure and convenience, and not God's greatness and glory.
My kids grasp this more easily.
When we dance, it can be worship. When we run, when we draw, when we learn, when we clean...it can all be in a spirit of worship.
If I tell my kids we are going to paint as a form of worship today, they're on it.
We're going to journal about our Bible verses, they're all for it.
They don't blink or look at me quizzically. They just do it, and they so often do it unto the Lord.
I'm afraid I am using my gifts and the remnant of creativity for my own purposes.
For those of us who love to teach little ones, we still long to be creative.
We teach Kindergarten just so we can read books, write books, color, paint, and mold things out of Play-Doh.
What would happen if we stirred up and revived from the dead all of our creative juices and poured them into worship and adoration of God?
I wonder what it would look like.
I'm going to be working on that.
There are many creative desires I've had for years that I've allowed fear to contain.
I want to play the drums, I want to play the piano more, I want to make more cute bookmarks with my awesome colored pens (thanks Amanda!) and my super cool laminator (thanks Shelby!)
Even more importantly, I want to protect the creative inclinations in my children and teach them that every one of them is for the glory of God. It is not meant to be squashed and stamped out, suffocated by "maturity" and replaced with cool, new aloof grown-up attitudes. It makes me want to cry just thinking of my kids giving up all their creative endeavors in the name of growing up.
So everyone, grown-ups, break out your markers, instruments, dancin' shoes, pencils and paper, and get to work. You may have to sit there for a while before a creative idea hits you, but just like me and the clouds, it will come. And maybe the more we practice that, the easier and easier it will come.
I want to try. I'm going to watch my kids for ideas.
You watch yours, if you have them or are around them, just mimic them for a while. They don't need ANY help in being creative.

HOPE

There is so much to cover in scripture on hope.
I am overwhelmed by it.
God has been speaking so clearly to me the last few days about hope.
There is one verse He has gifted me with that I have to share.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

We serve the GOD OF HOPE. There is no hope to be found anywhere else! But our God is the author and source of all hope!
So who are we to ever feel hopeless if we know Him?
I was feeling hopeless in a situation with one of my little ones. I felt discouraged and defeated.
That was wrong and sinful.
There's no place for hoplessness in our lives as believers! Not even a smidge of it!
We so easily forget, like foolish, ridiculous Israelites, we serve the GOD OF HOPE.
And in the midst of something horrendous, He can fill you with all joy and peace.
JOY AND PEACE.
That's something I haven't had lately in this trial.
I can not only be filled with hope to overflowing, but I can also have joy and peace in the midst of it.
Can I have any of this on my own?
No way Jose.
"...by the power of the Holy Spirit." Only by the powerful God living in us as believers can this happen. If God can raise the dead, He can give me hope, joy, and peace. In fact, He can produce all of the fruit of the Spirit in me. (Gal. 5:22 "And the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self control.")
Without the Holy Spirit, we are unkind. We are impatient. We lack joy and peace. We are not good. We are certainly not faithful. We are not gentle, and we cannot control ourselves.
Praise God that He decided to come live inside of us when we accepted Him.
Without Him, there is no hope.
With him, there is ALL HOPE!
This sounds simple, elementary. But how many of us are living with hopelessness hidden in our hearts?
Hopeless that things will change.
That our loved ones will come to know God.
That our circumstances will change.
That God will move.
We envision God to be about as powerful as we are. He's not.
We envision Him to be as faithful as we are. He's definitely not.
We think we know what love is aside from Him. We don't.
So take heart. Be filled with overflowing hope today.
Memorize and meditate on this verse as I am. He's faithful and good. He keeps all of His promises.
Praise God today that we serve the God of hope.
And if you don't know Him, today is the day! Enter into a forever union with true love and hope in Him.
To read some good scripture and insight into putting your hope in God alone, read my friend Tamra's blog about this. It's great!

I love the Gruners!

As you may have read, we love going to the Nursing Home.
Going to Crestview has become one of our highlights for the week.
I love it, and the kids really love it too!!!
We have made so many friends there. They love my kids! They light up when they see them! Some of them have amazing stories to tell. Some were teachers for 50 years.
I want to sit and listen for hours about that.
Many fought in World War II.
They have lived through poverty that our generation can't imagine.
They have pictures in their rooms that look like they're straight out of "The Notebook."
Some were parents of 9 kids.
Some were Sunday school teachers for 50+ years.
It's just an untapped reservoir of knowledge, experience, and life over there.
They will tell you they feel useless and are living without purpose.
But they are such a blessing to us! We started going to bless them, but they undoubtedly bless us more.
James 1:26-27
27 Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.
I realized a while back that Rusty and I were obviously involved in caring for orphans. You can read all about that on this blog. But what was I doing for the widow? Or the elderly who had been cast aside by our culture?
So we made time to start hanging out with the old folks...and voila! I met...

The Gruners! Ken and Joyce. They are the bomb.
I adore these people! Seriously! I want to be them when Rusty and I get old. They are still so in love, and I told Mrs. Gruner that I wanted to have hair like her's when I'm old. She doesn't have the blue-hair-permed-do, ya know? I really want to avoid that!
We have been visiting them regularly for months now, and have enjoyed them so much!
They take delight in my children, let them crawl up on the bed with her, mess up their room, and tell them they love them all the time.
Have you noticed this about old people? They are quick to tell you they love you, and are a little more honest. I guess you realize by the end of your life that those things are important.
Mr. Gruner tells us what it was like in World War II. Mrs. Gruner tells me what it was like when she was left behind with a baby and had to go to work. No one could get gas for their cars, so she had to go to work each day on a bike, with her baby in the basket on the front!!! Can you imagine?
They rented a garage apartment for $20/month.
They tell me things like "Whatever you do, don't invite the whole first grade class over for a birthday party! We learned that the hard way!"
or "I would have had a yard full of them (kids) if I could have afforded them!"
For Martin Luther King Day, we interviewed them about what it was like as Christians to live through the days when racism and discrimination was at it's height. They were very honest, heart-broken, and sober.
I so look forward to these talks with them!
Yesterday was Mrs. Gruner's birthday. She turned 85. We have had it marked on our calendar for over a month.
So we took a party to her! She hasn't been able to get out of bed for months. She has MS, but is really debilitated by bed sores. However, she rarely complains. She loves the Lord, and she is such a shining example of joy despite her circumstances.
She lives on the Nursing floor, but Mr. Gruner has to live in the assisted living area. So they are in separate rooms. They've been married for 68 years, but can no longer sleep in the same room! So sad!
However, he spends every waking moment in her room, no exaggeration.
He cares for her night and day. He refers to he always as his beautiful bride, or "my Joycey." They are so cute together!
We brought pizza, ice cream, a birthday banner, birthday napkins, and a pack of cards. The kids crawled up on her bed and played UNO with her. How fun is that? She was totally into it.

They said it was a birthday they would never forget. Me neither.
The Gruners already know and love the Lord. They're super worn and torn Bible is always nearby. But there are many people there who don't know the Lord.
As Rusty says "It's final exam time" for them.
My heart is fixed on sharing Jesus with them. They need to know Him before it's too late! The kids and I pray for opportunities to be bold and share Christ with them. I think most importantly, we have built a repore with the residents there in that we keep coming back. There are many drop-in one time visitors, especially around the holidays, but the residents just go on and on, like when we delivered valentines to all of them last week, about what it means to be thought of and remembered. They appreciate it so much!
If anyone is interested in visiting with us, let me know. We have more people to visit than we can possibly do each week. They each deserve more one-on-one time with someone. I would like to bring a birthday party to all of them!
And you can come by and meet the Gruners. Did I mention I love them!?

Valentine's Day- A God-Holiday?

This week in school we are studying LOVE.
Don't worry folks, if you are concerned for our homeschooling education, we do academics out the wa-zoo. We finished a month studying the human body, and my kids are now ready to take the MCAT.
Our project for this week was to make 88 valentines for our friends at the nursing home. Good thing we recruited wonderful friends to help us. That would have been a lot of glitter flying in this house.
We had already decided Valentine's day would be our unit study, in addition to our math and reading, etc. We love holidays!
The kids know that there is a difference in certain holidays...some are God-holidays. We stop working and take time to worship, like at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. But some days are remembering days, like Veteran's Day, President's Day, or some are silly days, like Halloween, and National talk like a pirate day.
Emma asked me on Sunday night on the way home from church "Mom, is Valentine's Day a God-holiday."
I explained to her that the world does not think of it as a God-holiday, but it truly is! I was saved as a little girl on Valentine's day, which has always been a sweet reminder of my love relationship with the Lord. But the Bible says God IS love. Without God, there is no love.
As we were talking about this in the car, I felt impressed by the Holy Spirit that we would study Biblical love this week.
The world has already begun telling my kids what love is. I want them to know what God says love is.
I decided we would wipe the white board of our minds clean on love, and write only what God says about it in Sharpie.
Wouldn't that be cool if our minds really had a white board?
Rusty's would have more on his than mine. He stores a lot of info. When you have a job that requires you to be awakened up from a dead sleep and do complicated math, you have a lot of math on your whiteboard.
Good thing I'm only awakened to tend to children and stuff.
So I started on Monday morning copying all the verses I could find and write in my journal about love.
Monday, we learned the greatest commandment (we talked about in church this past weekend.)
Mark 12:30-31
30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'
We should be THE MOST PASSIONATE about loving God, and everything else in our life should come as an overflow of that.

Tuesday we learned the second greatest commandment.
Mark 12:31
31 The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."

But what does it mean to love others? What does that look like?
John 13:34-35
34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

So how did Jesus love?
1 John 3:16
16 We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters.

John 15:12-14
12 I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. 13 And here is how to measure it — the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.

We have more ground to cover on God's love this week. How does the Bible describe God's love? How does that compare to the way we love each other?
There's so much. So much to erase. So much to Sharpie.
But it's been so good!

Hiding the Word in their Hearts

I just love this picture!
I think all kids should have plenty of time to make tents in their living room, don't you? Even if they collapse on you because your baby brother pushes the chairs down on top of everyone.
But this post is not about tents, it's about teaching our kids to study the Word.
This has been an evolving process. We have done different things, and as they are getting older, hopefully we are adapting to their abilities.
Last year, I did the Bible story, memory verses, and prayer time with them all together in the morning. It was a wonderful way to start our day! But Treston got louder at the breakfast table, and Justus more demanding, and this became very stressful.
In addition to that, Rusty was not apart of their daily Bible teaching, and he really wanted to lead out in that.
So we moved to this school year, me doing their AWANA verses with them over breakfast, and praying, and Daddy teaching the Bible Story and discussion at night.
And while that has worked well, I have always felt there was something missing in the morning for them.
So lately, I have asked Emma and Jax to go find a quiet spot in the house and take a Bible story book with them. I told them to look at a story (maybe the one we studied the night before) and then spend some time praying.
I have been amazed! When they come back, I ask them "what did God teach you this morning?"
One morning, Emma said "God taught me today that I shouldn't build myself up, I should only build God up." AMEN!!!!! She read the story of the tower of Babel. So we expounded on that, and it was good!
The next morning, I asked her again, and she said "God taught me that I shouldn't worship idols." AMEN!!!! So we talked about, what could be potential idols in her life that could become more important than God, and how God and pleasing Him has to stay #1. It was awesome!!!
I thought, how many grown-ups got that much out of their Bible Study time this morning?
I want to equip them to follow God for life.
If Rusty and I get up early to spend time alone in the Word and prayer, I want to teach them how to do the same. I want them to wake up every day of their life, and find personal time in the Word the most natural thing in the world to do. Like breakfast.
At ages 5 and 7, they are more than ready. It blows me away! We under estimate their relationships with God sometimes. They are insightful, and they hear His voice. Maybe clearer than we do sometimes.
I cling to these verses, as I ask God to show me how to teach them how to follow hard after God.

Prov 22:6
6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
NIV

Ps 119:9-11
How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
NIV

If you guys have other things that your parents taught you, or that you are teaching your kids about the Word, I'd love to hear about it.
And now, I'm off to run 10 miles. What? That's crazy! I hope I live to read your comments.