My mentee

Jeanna, sweet Jeanna.
How I love her!
Calling a person your mentee might sound strange to some.
But not in our church.
Our church has been intentional about having mentoring relationships among the older women and younger women, according to Titus 2, and so many Proverbs, telling us to seek wisdom from the older and wiser.
While it is incredibly hard to believe that I would be called older and wiser, when you live in a college town, older is awfully young. (At least that's the way I choose to look at it!)
While I still lack wisdom in so many areas, and need mentoring myself, I have walked where these college girls have walked. I have done things wrong and done them right. I've learned a LOT along the way, becoming a wife and a Mom. I have a lot to learn, but I also have something to share. The good, bad, and the ugly. Mostly, I get to share what I've learned from God's Word and how He's shown me how to live God's Word more and more.
I've had some amazing mentees. These girls are permanent places in my life. Some of them are "growing up" and becoming mentors themselves. It's so sweet to watch!
This year, I got our wonderful Jeanna!
She is precious to us. She does life with us. Best of all, she runs with me, which is incredibly time efficient and we have the best conversations when we're running.(She ran half of my long run with me this morning, which was AWESOME!)
There are no children around, no distractions. (Besides the labored breathing and aching knees, on my part. Not hers. She's seriously athletic, young and flawless.)
She makes smoothies with me when we come home.
She plays with my kids, and has now become a top-ranked babysitter since she rented the Power Rangers movie for them. (That's really all it takes around here.)
She loves and serves our family, and is a joy to have around.
What I love about her most is the way she pursues the Lord with everything in her. She is driven in her pursuit of holiness, and so teachable.
I am blessed by her passion for Him and desire to obey Him.
Older women who love the Lord, if you don't have one of these, you don't know what you're missing.
It can be scary opening up your home, your life, your past, your everything to a younger woman.
But believe me, it is so worth it. They are cool. They help you buy cool jeans and give you their left-over clothes, which I gladly take!
They remind you of what it's like to be in their stage of life, and where you've come from.
They are a blessing.
Jeanna, we love you and are thankful for you!

Run For Compassion- the Child Survival Program

To give you an update, the Run For Compassion is coming along!
I think we have close to 50 people registered. That's totalling close to $1000.00
Our goal is 200 people and $4000.00
If you've read about this here or on the website www.runforcompassion.com then you know how this got started.
My Godly parents have set the bar for us kids (grown kids, of course) to raise money for this. They gave us each $50 and told us to make more with it. (Sounds like the parable of the talents, right?)
This is the info my Mom sent us recently:
One sponsorship for a CSP is $28 per month - this includes $8 per month for Compassion AIDS initiative - which we will include.
It is our goal to commit as one large family to 6 sponsorships. That is $168 per month or $2016 per year.
I think this is an amazing goal, but if we reach our goal with this run, we can double it.
I'm not sure we could even count how many children and their families' lives could be changed. The Lord is doing something huge in my heart and Rusty's heart. We are broken for what's happenning an ocean away. We should have been a long time ago. And we have to ask ourselves what more can we do, in His name? For His kingdom?
Join us! You can be apart of this by registering for the 5K, 10K or kids fun run. There's also a place to donate. If you'd like to send a check to me directly, make it to Compassion with us on the memo line, and I'll send it in with the money. We could also use volunteers on race day.
I've obviously never been a race director before. I've only been in two races! This is crazy, and overwhelming! But I'm learning. I will know more next year, that's for sure! I need to know how many t-shirts and racing numbers to order. The earlier you register, the better I'll sleep.
I'm so excited! Thanks for your excitement as well!

Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions." Proverbs 31:26

I have been meditating on this verse, convicted by this verse, for at least a month now.
I don't know how this verse hits you, but it knocks me over.
Let's break it down...

When she speaks...We can stop right there. I can infer from this that she is not ALWAYS speaking! She is slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19). Proverbs is full of warnings about talking too much. Just one of them is 15:28 "The Godly think before speaking; the wicked spout evil words."
I want to be slow to speak. I need to think and pray before I open my mouth sometimes! I can look back and replay vivid film clips in my head of foolish, rebellious, and passionate words I spoke for the world to hear. I cringe. I wish I'd been slower to speak. I still need to learn this more and more.

her words are wise...I want to pursue wisdom with all my might! I long for wisdom, not just for myself, but for the people who follow behind me. I want to always be asking myself, not what is permissible, but what is profitable? (1 Cor. 10:23) Doesn't that change everything? Proverbs 2:1-4 says:
My child, listen to me and treasure my instructions. 2 Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. 3 Cry out for insight and understanding. 4 Search for them as you would for lost money or hidden treasure
I remember when I first read this verse as a new Mom. Not long before that we had lost some gift certificates. We literally turned our house upside down searching for those things! A few free meals at a local Mexican food restaurant turned me into a crazy woman! I searched desperately. I would stop at nothing! And I eventually found them. I read this verse, and an image of crazed me searching for gift certificates popped into my head. What if I searched for wisdom like that? What if I searched for wisdom like that? What if I didn't spew my opinions carelessly on others. What if I never used my words to make others look not as awesome as me. What if I only built others up? (Ephesians 4:29) and gave wise counsel?
That's the woman I want to be. So much!

and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. Here's a rule. Be kind with your words. That's what we teach in Countdown to young couples. That's what we teach our kids. But there are times my tone is not kind with my kids, my words are not beneficial, and I hate it. I want kindness to be the rule ALWAYS when I give instructions. And I pretty much give instructions all day long. I'm a full-time Mom and teacher. Instructions never stop. It's not always going to be easy. But I want kindness to be the rule.

So there you have it. Help me! I need prayer for this. Maybe you do too. This is the woman I long to be. This is who God is molding me into. I'm not there yet. Maybe you're not either. But we can encourage each other along the way. We can hold up the pursuit of wisdom over pleasure or recognition. We can make kindness the rule, rather than exasperation and frustration. Only in His power, but we can.

I Heart Mod Podge

I used this stuff last night while making new placemats for our table.
Wow! I LOVE it!!!
Everytime I've passed it at Hobby Lobby, I've had the burning desire to buy it and do something with it.
So last night, Amanda and my sister and I did. And I think it might be addictive because I woke up this morning with the strong urge to Mod Podge something.
So tell me...if you've used this before, what did you do, and give me detailed instructions so that I can do it too!
My productivity this week has been through the roof!
My husband has been on a mission trip, and I haven't stopped. One project has snowballed into another project, and then another, and now I have lots of cool surprises for him when he gets home.
Plus I've been so tired at night I've just fallen into bed, not having time to lose sleep over being here alone. (Alone with four kids, that kind of alone.)
Praise the Lord, Friday is here!!!
So if you have a Mod Podge idea for me, let me know! Or just come over and Mod Podge with me!

Daddy Yoga

There are some pretty hysterical moments in our life and house.
Kids are built in comedy relief, you know?
But this was a hysterical sight to behold.
The volume level in our house was reaching a mind boggling level.
Sometimes we can't hear ourselves talk. Or think.
Having four little kids, and mostly boys, is pretty crazy.
It's not necessarily a bad loud. They're having fun, chasing each other, goofing off, doing what kids do.
But sometimes the noise can get to you.
So Rusty decided it was time for a little relaxation session with the kids.
They stopped running around like children hyped up on speed, and sat in the floor for their Daddy Yoga.
This is what it looked like.

He was having them repeat things, in their new trance like state "I will fall asleep by 8:30 every night."
(kids repeat, in calm voices)
"I will eat all my vegetables."
(kids repeat)
"I will kiss Mommy and tell her she's beautiful every day."
(kids repeat)
"I will pay attention in school and go to college, and not to jail."
(kids repeat)
"I will start flushing the toilet after I poop."
(kids repeat)
If only this really worked!!!


It looks like he got them practically to sleep this way.
But afterward, they just popped back up and started running and screaming again.
it was a pleasant 5 minutes.

A Broken Scale and a Revelation Part 2

It's been a while since I've written about this...I've wanted to update this journey of mine for a while. This felt like the right time.
I wrote "A Broken Scale and a Revelation" in 2007. I still have not stepped on a scale, two years later! I'm tempted sometimes when I'm at the gym and no one I know is looking, but I remember what weighing used to do to me. And I'm not going back. Never!
So much freedom and victory has slowly grown into my life. If I, for a minute, were to think and walk in the flesh, and not in the Spirit, I could slip back into old ways of thinking...allowing my mind to be a battlefield, where I constantly fought, and always felt defeated. But I know what it means to re-train our minds, to "no longer conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds." (Hebrews 12:2) There is freedom in Christ! Aren't you glad?!

I have received some very edifying e-mails lately on this topic, and I wanted to share them with you. First, I know I'm not alone in this struggle with body image. You know who you are. You know the things you say about you, whether outloud or in your head. You know how it monopolizes your thinking, and makes you a little less than rational. You know how it makes you think constantly about you, and keeps you from thinking about God and others. That kind of kills the first and second commandment. Not a good thing.
Here are some startling statistics from our church's resident superwoman and fitness instructor, Rachel. (She has started a fitness class for us ladies at the church, and is encouraging women in right thinking, holiness, incorporating scripture memory and prayer, and just plain kicking my tail twice a week. I love that girl.)

* 54% of women would rather be hit by a truck than be fat (YES, you read that right)
* 81% of TEN year old girls say their greatest fear is being fat
* Almost all mannequins that we see in stores today are too thin to bear CHILDREN
* EVERY single magazine that you pick up at the store and read the person on the cover has been airbrushed for that shot...EVERY single one.
* 67% of women age 15-64 have AVOIDED social settings at least once this MONTH because of how they feel about their body
* Over 10 million females suffer from some form of an eating disorder currently....that is more women than who currently have breast cancer
* EVERYDAY 80% of women express verbally to others a comment about changing their outward appearance/body. (that is only the verbal comments not the negative self thoughts).

That's a load of negative thinking, and it's a full-time job to think that stuff in your head, 24/7. Exhausting.

Lies
Let's just admit it. We are deceived, ladies. We are following the father of lies when we allow ourselves to think this way. Where is the victory? Where is the freedom? How small have we made the God of the universe in our life? How is God getting the glory?
Whether we are thin, too thin, or overweight, this all comes down to what is going on in our hearts. I had to admit two years ago, it was downright yucky. I was exercising regularly, and I wanted to think that my motives were for good health, but that was a lie and I knew it. My motives were 100% weight control. My contentment rested on a number on the scale and a clothes size. Honestly, when those things weren't satisfactory to me, I was ruined. I was grumpy. I was totally disghusted with myself.
I was deceived, and I was allowing the enemy a foothold in my life, and in my daughter's future.
I had to get honest about my motives. They were wrong.
My exercise was not wrong, but my motives were gross, and that's what matters to God.
So should I stop exercising because it tempts me to sin?
No! That's what we call throwing the baby out with the bathwater. (English expressions are so bizarre. I swear, the rest of the world must think we're crazy.)
No, my exercise needed to be for the right reasons.
Being a good steward of our body, called the temple of the Holy Spirit in scripture, can bring Him glory.
THAT needed to be my heart.
So if I couldn't go to the gym because my kids were sick for a week, or we had too much school work, I needed to not throw a little tantrum, saying "Fine! I'll just be fat!"
(Did I just admit that on the internet? So fun.)
Something that helped me, beside just plain, old accountability, and re-training my mind through prayer and scripture, which I'll talk about below, was setting fitness goals instead of weight goals.
Training for races has been perfect for me! I started with a 5K, then worked my way up to where I am today. When I'm training, I don't even think about weight. I know I'm giving my all and pushing myself. I've learned so much about endurance! God has spoken to me clearly during my runs. I talked a lot on this blog last year as I trained for my half marathon, and it was definitely a spiritual experience for me!
Need a race to train for! Ha! I've got one for you...
www.runforcompassion.com 5K/10K Yes!

Back to motives...
Here is a little motive checklist I got from my friend Ashley, who got this from the book "Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood". (I haven't read it yet, but I may ask for this for Mother's Day! It sounds amazing!)

1. Do I spend more time each day caring for my personal appearance than I do in Bible study, prayer & worship?
2. Do I spend excessive money on clothes, hair, and makeup, or is it an amount that is God-honoring?
3. Do I want to lose weight to "feel better about myself" or do I desire to be self-disciplined for the glory of God?
4. Am I on a quest for thinness to impress others, or do I seek to cultivate eating habits that honor God?
5. Do I exercise to try to create or maintain a good figure, or do I exercise to strengthen my body for God's service?
6. Is there anything about my appearance that I wish I could change, or am I grateful to God for the way He created me?
7. Am I jealous of the appearance of the other girls, or am I truly glad when I observe girls who are more physically attractive than I?
8. Do I covet the wardrobe of others, or do I genuinely rejoice when other girls are able to afford and purchase new clothing?
9. When I attend an activity, do I sinfully compare myself with others, or do I ask God to show me whom to love and how to do it?
10. Do I ever dress immodestly to with the intent of drawing attention to myself, or do I always dress in a manner that pleases God?

Pleasing God and honoring God with my body had to become more important to me than anything else. These sinful thoughts had to go.
I was created by Him and for Him alone. I have no rights to my own glory or selfish desires. Who did I think I was complaining to Him constantly about his handiwork?
Whose glory was I seeking?
I had to start taking off the wrong thinking, and replacing it with right thinking.
I had to meditate on scripture constantly. I mean CONSTANTLY! Here are just a few of them.


HOW SHOULD I MEASURE MY WORTH?
Rom 12:3-4
3 As God's messenger, I give each of you this warning: Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you.

Deut 7:6
6 For you are a holy people, who belong to the LORD your God. Of all the people on earth, the LORD your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure.


WHAT SHOULD I BE THINKING ABOUT?
Col 3:2-4
2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

WHAT IS BEAUTY, ACCORDING TO THE WORD?
1 Peter 3:3-5
3 Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 That is the way the holy women of old made themselves beautiful.

What is a gentle and quiet spirit?
The best definition I've heard also came from the book Ashley shared with me, by Carolyn Mahaney, and she says this: Carolyn says, "A gental & quiet spirit, simply put, is a steadfast peace because of a steadfast trust in God. A girl who possesses a gentle & quiet spirit humbly responds to whatever God chooses for her life, regardless of the cost."

I have meditated on that so much since she sent that to me. I definitely need this book!

This has been difficult to write...to sum up...to make sense of so much. But more than anything, I want us to know that our hearts and motives are what God sees and desires, our contentment in Him is mandatory, and our deception is thick and a travesty. If you belong to Him, you are His, His masterpiece, His vessel for His glory, and we ought to emanate the beauty of the Gospel with all we have! I want that to always be my heart cry. And yours.

Repeat Recipe

I have blogged this before, but you really must make this! It's just so good. I just made it for dinner, and it took me less than 30 minutes to make dinner.
Take that Rachel Ray!

Y'all know these dressings are awesome, right?
We love them.
This is an easy recipe that we came up with when we were first married. (I love the recipes we make that take me back to our tiny apartment in Waco, before my children were a twinkle in our eyes. How different life is now!) We made it last night and I had forgotten how good and easy it was!
My kids even liked it.

1 package of chicken tenders
1 bottle Brianna's honey mustard dressing
Lowry's season salt (or whatever kind you use)
lettuce
red bell pepper
other salad veggies you like (I like grape tomatoes, carrots, peas,etc.)
pecans
croutons

Season the chicken tenders and either grill them, or cook on the stove-top, using about 1/2 the bottle of dressing.
Then make your salad to your liking...I use the above listed salad items. I use the honey mustard dressing on the salad, but not too much. The chicken already adds a lot of flavor. Rusty used a different dressing on his, but I think that's weird.
I serve with Rhodes rolls, and there you have it.
Easy, hu? And it's so good!
Hope y'all like it!

Register Today!

Hooray! The website for the Run For Compassion 5K/10K on April 18th is up! Go to www.runforcompassion.com and register TODAY! And don't do it alone. Make sure you spread the word and invite others to join you for this special day.
I have a goal for what we can raise for the Child Survival Project in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. But I have to tell you, I'd really like to see us exceed it!
So if you have a blog or Facebook page, and you're excited about this cause, would you post this?
This is so exciting! Pass it on!

Compassion

My awesome parents just got back from a Compassion trip to Honduras, where they visited the child they sponsor. They got to see firsthand what God is doing through Compassion and our measley support money. Check out her post on their trip!

How To Make a Salad

If you know me very well, you may have heard my rant about salad.
Salad can be many things. It can take many forms, with a variety of hundreds of ingredients.
But let me tell you what salad is NOT.
Salad is NOT lettuce in a bowl.
I take salad very seriously.
Maybe it's the influence from the Seay family, who is in large part vegetarian or vegan. We always have salad, and we have REAL salad. Good salad!
I have had a few people ask me how I make my salad.
I am not a gourmet cook. But I know how to put together a decent salad.
So in true biblical Titus 2 fashion, I think making a salad falls accordingly under this umbrella of what I can offer my younger girl friends.
(In turn, you can help me find jeans and shoes!!! Seriously!)
So let me give you a few tips on what I think makes a good salad.

1. At least have, at minimum, two vegetables. My favorites are cut baby carrots and grape tomatoes. I also like red bell pepper and avacado, but I have to catch these on special.

2. Nuts. (I can hear my husband laughing like Beevis in my head.) I like to always add a nut. Pine nuts is my staple, but you could add any nut; pecans, walnuts, almonds, whatever. Candied pecans are an amazing addition to some salads!

3. Cheese. Who doesn't like cheese? I use Feta almost all the time. It is the lowest fat cheese option, and I LOVE it!!!! But you can add any cheese you want.

4. Craisins! Dried cranberries. Especially with Feta cheese. These are awesome in almost any kind of salad. You can add other fruits like strawberries or mandarin oranges. Like the classic strawberry Feta salad. That's good!

5. Finally, croutons. Who doesn't like croutons? I try to add them on the side so that my left over salad doesn't have soggy croutons in it.

And of course, when I have time, I make this fresh herb dressing, which I can never get enough of! But invest in some decent salad dressings. I like Greek, Green Goddess, and my husband likes some of the fancy Italian ones. I try to have a good assortment for guests to choose from.
This all sounds very basic, but you just can't underestimate what a good salad can add to a meal! And a Jillian tip from the Biggest Loser says to eat your fill of good salad first in a meal, and you wont' eat as much of your main dish like pasta. But watch out for calorie packed dressings. Use them on the side, and you'll be amazed at how much dressing you conserve!
I make salad almost every night of the week, and I bring it to our church Potluck weekly. It seems to go fast.
Now, younger women, let's talk jeans...

My Dash-ers

I am so proud of Rusty and my mentee, Jeanna, who did the Armadillo Dash 1/2 marathon yesterday!!! (Yes, I said Armadillo...don't get me started on the name...or the t-shirt! I will say this race was well put together though, and I have a new respect for this, since I am planning a race of my own. It's not as easy as it sounds!)
The kids and I, plus our awesome friends the Feldmans, went out to be the cheering section for Rusty and Jeanna. Now I know how much I was holding them both back speed-wise, because they both flew through this race. I know, because I ran the last five miles with Jeanna, and then the last 1/2 mile with Rusty, and I've never run so fast. Not to mention, just like last year, there was a brutal 30 mph wind that hit us when we turned onto Hwy 6 for the last 4 miles.
I am SO PROUD of them! They both placed high in their age bracket, and finished in less than two hours.
I am still in training for my half marathon in April in Nashville. I will NOT be running as fast as them, but hopefully will finish well.
Rusty, being the unstoppable machine that he is, ran 13.1 miles yesterday morning, then went to church (holding Treston the whole time, which is a work-out), went to the hospital and admitted a patient, played in a soccer game- ridiculous!, and then went to church and taught. That's quite a day! After the Dash last year, I went to bed. That's my husband!
Way to go guys! Y'all are both amazing!

I saw red

Do you see this cute boy? The darling one, with the soft brown curls, adorable smile, and an enthusiastic voice with the volume turned all the way up, all the time?
Yeah him.
Look what he did today to my carpet.
Mind you, I don't have that much carpet in my house.
This is in the play room, which is all wood floors except for the closet.
That's where this crime scene took place.
It looks like CSI, doesn't it?
Red paint.
Everywhere.
This is AFTER the clean-up.
It was all over the walls, smeared on ever surface in the closet.
This is my beloved school closet...the one with the sign on the door that says "STAY OUT: NO PLAYING" and the childproof knob that my little destroyer laughs at, with his deep belly evil laugh, and enters as he pleases.
Emma painted yesterday, and accidentally left the paints down low.
That's a fatal mistake in this house.
So this was the result.
That's just today.
Earlier this week it was poop. If you've read this blog for a long time then you remember the famous poop-flinging stories of Justus. (If you haven't read that one, and you're entertained by poop, which is often featured on the Bacak blog I've realized, give this one a quick read.) This is very similar. He got into his dirty diaper...don't know why...dug around in there for a while, got it all over his hands and clothes and all the toys he played with, like the plastic riding toy in the yard, and made a good mess.
Claire brought him to me as I was getting out of the shower.
Needless to say, I had to get BACK in the shower by the time the foul mess was cleaned up.
In those moments, when I'm covered in my child's poop (because he thinks it's play-doough) or when I'm on my hands and knees looking at red paint everywhere I can see, I feel introspective.
What is God trying to teach me? And why haven't I learned it yet?
Even with that kind of week, I love my life.
Have no fear. I'm not hopping a plane to Mexico or anything. Not without Rusty anyway.

Run, Walk, or Crawl for COMPASSION

It's true, I'm hosting a race here on April 18th, with the help of the lovely girls of ASC (Aggie Sisters for Christ.)
We are sponsoring the Child Survival Program. (Click and read!) What I've learned is that 27,000 children under the age of 5 die every day, EVERY DAY, of preventable causes. Hunger, malnutrition, curable diseases, HIV (due to lack of meds that are readily available to us in the US), etc. You can sponsor a child ages 5 and up from almost anywhere all over the globe through Compassion and drastically change the lives of that child and their family. But they have to live to age 5 first. That's where the Child Survival Program comes in. They provide everything a mother and children need to make it, and best of all, share the Gospel and provide discipleship at the same time. That's LIFE.
Could this be for a better cause? Seriously!?
How did this get started? What made me think I can host a race? Well, let me give you a peek into the Seay family. (That's my maiden name, Seay.) My parents are amazing Godly people. They are in Honduras right now on a Compassion trip. My brother, Brian, works for Compassion, as you may know from following his adoption story. They recently adopted from Ethiopia, and we will be sponsoring that specific Child Survival Project there. Brian has the coolest job on the planet with Compassion. Let's not leave out Chris and Robbie, who are actively involved with Compassion and Living Water. So my parents, for Christmas, give us $50 and tell us to make money from that with our own fundraiser for the Child Survival Program. We also collect money all year in whatever way we can and my parents collect it at the end of the year from all of us. (Last year Emma gave her life savings; an overflowing piggy bank and eagerly dumped it all in. That was a moment I'll not forget.) My Mom decorated Compassion boxes and we each have one. All that to say, the Seay family is on this. And this is us, making our $50 count! We are super excited about being apart of what God is doing clear across the world! Isn't this exciting? Don't you want in?
So I need your help.
The 5K (and I'm hoping to have a 10K option as well, but we'll see) is on April 18th. (That is Parents Weekend.) My first hurdle has been getting someone from the city to call us back. We still don't have a location. This has been frustrating. Once we get that in place, we'll get registration rolling.
But I want people to know so they can start training now and SPREADING THE WORD!!!
This is an event for the whole family.
I plan on having a fun run for the kids, too! My kids will be training to jog a mile.
Charlie Apel is going to design the coolest t-shirts ever.
All I need is all of you to be all IN, and to let people know about it.
Mark your calendars!
More info to come!

Bulk Trash

We have these nasty bean bags.
Bean Bags are the worst. I almost ended the friendship with the person (childless, of course) who gave my kids these ENORMOUS bean bags for Christmas one year.
I hated them then, and that was over two years ago.
I hate them today.
I have tolerated them for over two years.
But every Monday, when the Bulk Trash truck comes by, I want to throw those bulky, ugly, ready to spill out tiny beans everywhere, shapeless things in the truck and wave goodbye.
They had become a fixture in our playroom, and I could almost forget they were there...but every now and then, the dream of the bulk trash truck would re-surface.
So, one day I did it.
I hauled them out there, not caring if my neighbors saw me in my pajamas, and set them out on the curb.
In fact, I hauled several things out there.
It felt so good!!!
I was so anxious to see the truck come by and make them disappear.
But the truck doesn't come until 10:30 or so...and my little ones wandered out there and found them.
Word spread in the Bacak house.
The kids started staring outside at them, pressing their little noses up against the glass, with little tears coming down their faces.
THE BEAN BAGS
Mind you, before you think I'm a terrible, evil mother who cares nothing for my children, I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM SIT ON THESE THINGS!
So I didn't know it would become this dramatic scene...but you never know.
So before the truck could come my way, and rescue me, the bean bags were dragged back into the house.
In fact, 75% of what I'd put out on the curb was dragged back into the house.
Things that they formerly hadn't seemed to play with or care about, they just couldn't part with.
The Lord reminded me we are just like that with our sin.
There are things in our lives that have become fixtures in our hearts and minds, even though we've always known they were yucky.
But one day, the Holy Spirit prompts us, and we know they need to go.
We drag it out on the curb, we are bound and determined to let it go for good.
But somehow, before we know it, we drag it back in, because even though we know it's gross, it's comfortable. It's normal. We convince ourselves that we'll eventually get rid of it. Maybe next Monday on bulk trash day. There's always next Monday, right?
I love this verse:

Rom 13:12-13
12 The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So don't live in darkness. Get rid of your evil deeds. Shed them like dirty clothes . Clothe yourselves with the armor of right living, as those who live in the light.
NLT

Heather writes about this in Her Hands and puts it like this...
For years, there I was, walking around in my old, sinful clothes. Every day I would pray that God would help me stop sinning. I wanted Him to change me…I wanted out of my yucky, dirty, sinful clothes. So, I would strip down naked. I would take those old, icky clothes off. But I never put clean ones on to replace the yucky ones. So, I would stand there, naked, cold, shivering…and my old, dirty clothes would start to look attractive again. It’s just easier to do what we know. It's easier to wear what we wore.
God is saying in scripture to get rid of our old clothes…BURN THEM…and PUT ON the clothes He has laid out for us. WHAT BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES they are! Our Father has great taste. This is why there is NEVER a passage about taking off sin that does not conclude with a passage about what to put on instead. God never leaves us naked! Never!


What I'm reminded I need to do is put something on it my sin's place. If I take off complaining, I need to put on thankfulness. If I take off harsh words, I need to put on kind words. If I take off bitterness, I need to put on tenderheartedness.
I'm so glad God doesn't tell us to strip off our clothes and stand there naked, aren't you?
Today is Monday.
Bulk Trash day.
I hope we can all haul our trash out, leave it on the curb, and wave goodbye!
Happy Bulk Trash Day!

Birth Families

A few months back, we had the chance to meet and connect with some of Justus' birthfamily; his aunt, uncle, and cousins. We had never met them face-to-face before, but had heard a lot about them from Kathleen, Justus' birthmom. They are very close, and I think it meant the world to her for us to finally meet.
They live in Las Vegas, but came to Texas to visit family over Christmas, and made a special trip here to meet Justus. We met at a Chic-Fil-A, and got acquainted.
They were so excited to get to see Justus, hug him, talk to him, and see two little boys, biological first cousins, play like boys in the play area.

Birth families are a blessing. Having a link to their story, another piece of the puzzle to who they are, is so good for my boys! Justus has the same nose as them, which is precious! His nose is one of my very favorite things about him!
Now let's be honest, not every piece of their puzzle is pleasant. I know this. But it's all a part of who they are. Luckily, this was a wonderful piece of Justus' story, and we were so lucky to get this afternoon with them.

New Life does a good job of encouraging connection with birth families. They facilitate visits with all of us, which is unbelievable for three women to do with all the families they place with. That adds up! There are just so many hours in a day, for goodness sake! But they also plan the Kinship Picnic, which is coming up in March. This is a very natural, easy place where birth families and adoptive families meet up at a park near New Life and the kids play...the adults chit-chat...we eat fried chicken...and life is normal. At least almost. This is brilliant, if you ask me!
Also know, that some birth family members may not be healthy enough or making good choices and we may choose not to meet with them when it's not in the best interest of our kids to do so. We are not blind and foolish. We wouldn't put our kids at risk for any reason! This is all about them, and about sharing Jesus with their families! But there are extreme circumstances where we may choose not to visit if we feel it is unsafe.

For the most part, so much good comes from these connections with birth families. The Gospel is shared. People are saved. Sometimes, a birth family member sees a healthy family up-close for the first time in their lives. A birthparent whose heart is aching to see her little one slide down the slide and play with their siblings has that chance. I am excited about meeting up with some of Treston's birth family at the Kinship picnic. (Pictures will follow.) God has been good to bless us with birth family members for both our boys. HIs purposes in adoption are many!

A Bacak Valentine's Day

Well, I had 5 other cute pictures to put here, and my computer stubbornly refuses to post them. No idea why. I'm very mad at it, but am calling a truce with it for now so I can write this. After this, I'm going to ignore it for the rest of the day.
Valentine's Day!
Of course the day was kicked off with some homemade by Mom valentines for each of the kiddos and their favorite candy. Candy for breakfast. That is all Treston has ever wanted around here.
But breakfast got better. Emma made heart-shaped pancakes. They were so good!
Rusty and I did our long runs. Rusty did 12 all by himself, and I did 8 with Jeanna.
I got to see one of my sweet former HOPE groupies get married: missionaries in Nicaragua, Julie and Jader, tied the knot. I visited the nursing home to deliver valentines and had a memorable chat with Mr. Gruner. He told me about his wedding day to the late and beloved Mrs. Gruner. I could picture it all in my mind. I love that man!
But Valentine's night was special.
I already wrote about how we see it around here, and we like to share that.
So we always invite some of our favorite college people over!
We had seven beautiful girls descend on this place. So fun!
Rusty, being the amazing man he is, cooked an unbelievable dinner for ALL 13 of us!
I mean, for real, an amazing dinner. One of my primary love languages is food, so this was legit.
He made us, my very favorite, crab legs and lobster tails, plus chicken, baked potatoes, sweet potatoes, and killer broccoli. The girls contributed salad and rolls. Then I made the strawberry cake with cream cheese icing, and we dipped strawberries in chocolate.
(If you're reading this and you're hungry right now, I'm so sorry!)
Then we had a family worship all together and Rusty taught on love.
What is love? And how should we love? Jesus told us.

John 15:12-15
12 I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. 13 And here is how to measure it — the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends. 14 You are my friends if you obey me.

Wow! That was specific! How do we love?
Like Jesus. Imitate Him.
How do we measure it?
By our sacrifice.
How far should we go in sacrificial love? How far is too far?
Death.

In the last few weeks Rusty has been teaching from scripture about love, and I've been challenged. I want to love like Jesus does. I want to be sacrificial, and less about myself. I want to loving at all times!
There is so much good in scripture to put on when it comes to love.
And it's probably something we want to pay attention to, because the greatest commandment is to LOVE God, and next to that is LOVING our neighbor.
So that's a big deal, I think.

I can tell you, I'm definitely challenged by my husband and the way he loves me. I was so glad we got to share it with those beautiful girls. We loved having our own little Valentine's party. Jax even gave out goody bags!
Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day- Attn: single ladies

I was going to write a new post about Valentine's Day, and then remembered I wrote one last year. It hasn't expired. So I pasted it below this. But I want to attach a note to my beautiful single ladies: I know what this holiday does to us. I can remember what it felt like. I know that just walking through HEB and being bombarded with the hearts and candy and junk that no one is going to buy for you can make you feel like a loser, for NO GOOD REASON. I also know, that when we copy the thinking of this world, we lose perspective on what God says. So please meditate on LOVE this weekend. Real love. God's love. And let the married women around you affirm for you that there is no love like God's. Our husbands are amazing, but everyday is not Valentine's Day, and if we didn't know God's love, we'd be empty inside. Romantic love doesn't fill you up. God does. So I'm praying you feel filled up to the very top this Valentine's Day, if you're a believer in Jesus Christ, because you know the greatest love of all time!!!
So DON'T wear black on Valentine's Day.
DON'T throw a pity party, and send out pathetic invitations for other girls to join in.
DON'T act like God has forgotten you because you aren't in a romantic relationship.
DO remember, that by grace, He has saved you, when you did nothing to deserve it, and He loves you with an everlasting love.
Seriously, what more could we want from Him!?
Here's my old post...please read to the bottom because the scripture is there.

This week in school we are studying LOVE.
Don't worry folks, if you are concerned for our homeschooling education, we do academics out the wa-zoo. We finished a month studying the human body, and my kids are now ready to take the MCAT.
Our project for this week was to make 88 valentines for our friends at the nursing home. Good thing we recruited wonderful friends to help us. That would have been a lot of glitter flying in this house.
We had already decided Valentine's day would be our unit study, in addition to our math and reading, etc. We love holidays!
The kids know that there is a difference in certain holidays...some are God-holidays. We stop working and take time to worship, like at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. But some days are remembering days, like Veteran's Day, President's Day, or some are silly days, like Halloween, and National talk like a pirate day.
Emma asked me on Sunday night on the way home from church "Mom, is Valentine's Day a God-holiday."
I explained to her that the world does not think of it as a God-holiday, but it truly is! I was saved as a little girl on Valentine's day, which has always been a sweet reminder of my love relationship with the Lord. But the Bible says God IS love. Without God, there is no love.
As we were talking about this in the car, I felt impressed by the Holy Spirit that we would study Biblical love this week.
The world has already begun telling my kids what love is. I want them to know what God says love is.
I decided we would wipe the white board of our minds clean on love, and write only what God says about it in Sharpie.
Wouldn't that be cool if our minds really had a white board?
Rusty's would have more on his than mine. He stores a lot of info. When you have a job that requires you to be awakened up from a dead sleep and do complicated math, you have a lot of math on your whiteboard.
Good thing I'm only awakened to tend to children and stuff.
So I started on Monday morning copying all the verses I could find and write in my journal about love.
Monday, we learned the greatest commandment (we talked about in church this past weekend.)
Mark 12:30-31
30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'
We should be THE MOST PASSIONATE about loving God, and everything else in our life should come as an overflow of that.

Tuesday we learned the second greatest commandment.
Mark 12:31
31 The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."

But what does it mean to love others? What does that look like?
John 13:34-35
34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

So how did Jesus love?
1 John 3:16
16 We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters.

John 15:12-14
12 I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. 13 And here is how to measure it — the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.

We have more ground to cover on God's love this week. How does the Bible describe God's love? How does that compare to the way we love each other?
There's so much. So much to erase. So much to Sharpie.
But it's been so good!
Labels: spiritual, Valentine's Day

A "God" Birthday

If you know my kids, you know they plan their birthdays year round.
We love birthdays, and half-birthdays for that matter, and we love parties.
So it's not strange for my kids to come up with a birthday theme and plan when their birthday is six months away.
Out of the blue the other night, Emma tells me that she wants to have a "God" themed birthday party. She gave me some ideas for making the decorations, but the best one was her idea to play "Pin Jesus on the Cross".
Yes. My daughter said instead of playing pin the tail on the donkey, she thought we could put up a cross, and pin Jesus on it.
Okay, more than slightly irreverent.
But she was totally serious, and I know her heart was not amiss in this, so I did not correct her.
We WON'T be playing "Pin Jesus on the Cross", however.

Welcome Babies!!!

Two of my favorite girls in the world gave birth to their beautiful babies less than 24 hours apart. Both ended up needing C-Sections. Both boys.
It was only fitting. They told me they were pregnant in just the same fashion.
These girls...I LOVE! They are precious to this family!
How did this happen? One minute these girls are bouncing through my home, full-fledged college students, my mentee for Her Hands, in my Countdown class, and the next, they're married and having babies. It happens fast! And these are not my first precious girls to have babies. Jodi has Wyatt and Carissa has Eden. They are multiplying quickly! Way to go guys!
Adam and Emily Williams, now residents of Albuquerque, NM, where Adam is like Jack Bauer for the government, we suspect...he can't really tell us...and Emily has been making a home and substitute teaching, now have Josiah David Williams! She tells me he has a head full of hair, although, he didn't come out in dreads, like his Dad wears, as we hoped. Someday.
Matt and Erin Mosier, Treston's Godparents and dear friends here in College Station, gave birth to Cade Matthew, with a cute button nose like his Mom's. Seeing Matt present him through the nursery window with the paparazzi (20+ of us awaiting a glimpse of him) was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. I took a snapshot of him in my mind. It was precious.
I love these families. They are beginning a sacred task. They are raising children to know and fear the Lord. They are embarking on the journey that will last us a lifetime of loving our children.
Malachi 2 talks about the sacred covenant of marriage, and in verse 15 says "Didn't the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union." (this is an amazing chapter so read it fully!)
I pray Godly children, starting with Josiah and Cade, will continue to come from these sacred unions.
Adam and Matt, these boys are blessed to have fathers who will so willingly lead them to Christ! Emily and Erin, motherhood suits you beautifully.
I love you guys!

He Asked. I Said Yes.

January 31st, 1998, Rusty asked me to marry him.
He washed my feet, read Ephesians 5, said lots of sweet things, and gave me a ring.
He got on his knee, and asked me to be his wife.
Without hesitation, I said yes.
I stared at that ring, and solemnly vowed to never replace it, upgrade, or alter it. This was going to be the ring I would wear happily, everyday, as long as I live.
Single girls, I didn't earn this man. I am not worthy of his love.
He didn't come the first time I wished for him. Maybe around the millionth.
He wasn't what I expected, exactly. I didn't have that good of an imagination, obviously. He is WAY better.
Our story is not like a chic flick.
It's more real. It's deeper. It's flawed. It's lasting.
He didn't arrive on the scene at just the moment I got my act together and was totally content. That would be works driven. He was a gift of grace, despite myself. (I did have to get rid of the WRONG guy I was hanging onto first!)
I remember the euphoria of that day! I can only reflect on God's goodness and His good plans for me, though I am undeserving.
He has good plans for all of us, despite ourselves, and those plans seldom look like what we hope for. They are not always what we expect.
Single women, I know Valentine's Day is approaching, and I'll talk about that more soon, but please...throw off disappointment! Defeat discontentment!
God is good to you. Recognize His goodness and His gifts to you.
I am thankful today.