How many times must my bathroom scale break before I get it?
Evidently three times.
I've had three scales break in a relatively short amount of time.
The Holy Spirit is consistent, and I'm slow.
Last semester, He spoke clearly to me through my broken scale.
I finally listened.
I don't need to weigh myself on a consistent basis.
My weight can be an idol for me.
Don't you love putting your junk out on the internet for the world to read?
Well, here goes, because I am pretty darn sure I'm not the only one.
This is what I know...
Being in shape is a good thing.
Exercise is great! It's so beneficial, and I always feel better when I'm working out.
But exercise for the sole reason of maintaining a certain weight easily becomes an idol for me.
What is an idol? Anything that becomes more important to me than loving and glorifying God, or anything I ascribe my worth to, other than God.
(That's not Webster, that's just Jenn & Rusty Bacak.)
So, when exercising and maintaining a number on the scale becomes more important to me than my time in the Word, my duties at home, loving my husband, homeschooling my kids, or it just plain makes me GRUMPY when it's not happenning- is SIN.
I can slip into that sin easily.
Thankfully, I have a husband and friends I am accountable to who will stop me in my tracks.
I confessed this last semester to Heather, and she spoke truth to me, including that I have a daughter and she would undoubtedly inherit this sin, and SOON.
Good gracious, that made me sick.
I stopped right there in brokenness, and took my sin seriously. The thought of passing our sin down to our kids is sickening indeed.
I have felt great victory since that time, when God told me not to continually struggle with this, but to get it under control permanently.
Why?
BECAUSE AS BELIEVERS, WE CAN.
Rom 8:5-8
5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will. 8 That's why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.
NLT
I have the Holy Spirit living in me!!! It's great news! When controlled by the HS, my mind is filled with life and peace.
I have never had an eating disorder, thank you God. I'm not above having that sort of sin in my life, I've just never gone there. If you have, please read this from the Her Hands study.
But the battle has always been in my mind, and the sinful nature, at times, was winning. According to that verse, I was not honoring God during those times! Feeling so completely disghusted with myself when I gained weight...thinking about needing to lose weight constantly...putting so much emphasis in my mind on this temporary tent I live in...putting exercise at the top of my to-do list...I've been there, been there, been there!
Exercise is good.
Self-control with food is good.
Maintaining a healthy weight is very good.
But if it comes between me and the Lord, it's VERY BAD.
I am so thankful that God is teaching me and growing me.
I am exercising still, and feeling good about it.
But the Holy Spirit is speaking truth to me about my body.
For now, I am not weighing on a consistent basis.
Not because it will definitely plunge me into sin again, but because I don't want to tempt myself to go there.
I am super grateful that I don't have to struggle with this forever, but that God gives us victory over our sin!!!
Read Romans 6-8!
It's awesome.
God is big enough to take on our every sin! In fact, He did, He nailed it to the cross with His Son Jesus, and the victory is ours for the taking.
So girls, if you're with me, let's take these thoughts captive. Let's re-train our minds to what the Word says, and burn our idols in a giant, flaming bonfire!
Who's with me???
10 comments:
So proud of you! Love you bunches and think you are such a hottie.
Heather
Such truth, sweet friend. I think lots of us struggle with it as well, in one way or another. Perhaps this could be a topic for your next Bible study or article for Lilly? Thanks for being transparent- God always uses what He is refining in us to sharpen others as well.
-Laurie
Love this post and your honesty!
I decided a long time ago to put the scale away and take sinful body type thoughts captive for precisely the same reason you did. I have two daughters I don't want inheriting this sin.
I no longer get angry if I miss my workout and only weigh myself on occassion. I can dress in a way that's flattering to my current body type.
I say we put our size two, or whatever your perfect size clothes are, in the bonfire along with our scales!
Oh yeah, our sins and selfish obsessions too, let them burn!
Stink!
Thanks for this truth. The scripture from Romans really spoke to me. I needed to hear that.
Praise the Lord for your honesty and transparency.
Lyns
Jenn,
As I am exercising to be able to fit into my clothes after having Rylee, a prayer of mine is that my motivation would be to exercise for the purpose of making my body a better living sacrifice for the Lord. That is why Jim Elliot wrestled in college (Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot)...his purpose for exercising was so he would be ready for the mission field. We have tried to adopt that motivation & pray for the grace for it to REALLY be our reason for eating well & exercising. Afterall...whether we eat or drink, we're to do it for the glory of God! We need grace!
I have to pray for that mindset, or it can quickly be an idol for me, too. I've experienced freedom lately...but I've been on the other side & it stinks!
-ashley
I have been excercising for a couple of years now.
I have not lost a single pound. I have however slimmed down and firmed up and I am in really good shape.
I think God did that so that I would not become obsessed with the scale, which would be really easy for me.
I am very proud of you and PRAISE GOD for breaking generational sin. I pray Emma never has to go through it.
I pray for all of our children for sin that has been passed down to end with us!!!!
I seriously cannot tell you how much this truth means to me.
Power.
There is so much POWER in this Truth.
Thank you for speaking it.
My struggle is rooted in a fear of WOman. A fear of Jenn. A fear of Heather. A fear of all you itty bitty women who are 10 years older than me with quadruple the number of kids!
Sick! What power do you hold over my life? NONE.
I want Jesus to be the ONLY one I want to please!!
May Jesus give me freedom from the power these idols hold in my life.
His power is made perfect in my weakness.
Praise Him!
Sally
Jenn,
How I miss you dearly, and this post brought tears to my eyes reminding me of you, your Jenn-ness, your complete honesty and openness before the Lord and women around you. That blesses my heart tremendously and makes me long to be your mentee (sp?) again! I pray you continue focusing your eyes on pleasing our Lord alone and continue being an example of an amazing and godly woman who truly fears the Lord. Love you, Melissa
P.S. We really love Josh & Courtney and are blessed to have them as friends & part of our church! :)
You are a strong woman. Throw the scale out and don't look for another one. There is no reason that you should be weighing yourself. You would probably never recommend weighing to anyone else, so don't hold yourself up to some unreachable standard. None of us really know what that standard is anyway. Hope our children never feel that they have to look a certain way to be accepted by those who love them most. Life is about the journey, and our steps become so burdensome when we are dragging a scale along for the ride. Thanks for the words of truth and for being so honest! Love you!
Amy
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