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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Poop


I had many ideas before I had children about what MY children would, and would not do. (For those of you child-less women who are teachers, this list is long, am I right?)
They would not wear ridiculous outfits and mismatched shoes to the grocery store.
They would never throw fits in public.
They would always wash their hands, with soap.
And they would always flush their poop down the toilet.

But as all of us real, live parents know, the long list of things our kids wouldn't do makes us laugh now. It makes us laugh until our sides hurt. It makes us laugh at ourselves, and how prideful we were, and how silly our standards were.
I now don't care what my kids wear to the grocery store.
Many a trip to HEB (or ABC as Justus calls it) has been made in a Batman costume and pink rain boots. I love my kids' creativity!
They do throw embarrassing fits in public, and I've learned to just call out "Who's kid is that?"
But one thing I really WOULD like my kids to do is:
FLUSH THEIR POOP.
Why is this so difficult?
Are they so attached to their poop, they just can't bear to watch it go?
It's not difficult to flush. It's not physically taxing.
I personally, am happy to see it go.
But my kids, not so much.
I know whose poop I'm looking and who to blame because I am so used to seeing all their poo, I know it's personal attributes. It's bad enough I have to see my own poo. Why must I personally know the poop of four other human beings so intimately?
That's really disghusting.
I need a voice that comes on in the bathroom automatically that says "Don't forget to flush your poo!" before a child is allowed to go. The voice just repeats, and the door locks until they do so.
Who will invent this?
With all of the brilliant minds out there, can't we do something useful like this?
I want to see poo-free potties someday, and someday soon!
Will that day ever come?
Older, wiser women, help a mama out!

9 comments:

Kathryn, Michael & Alex said...

I am with you!!

I so naively thought that when Alex got potty trained that the only person's bathroom habits I had to think about would be my own.

Wrong.

They can not flush any better than they can turn a light off...and so I go back in the bathroom and there it is mocking me with lots of light!!

Funny.

Kathryn, Michael & Alex said...

Even your blog is mocking me.

My word verification...I kid you not was

egPOOiwz

Anonymous said...

Post this sign in the bathroom; use pictures if necessary:

"WIPE, FLUSH, WASH, LIGHTS.
LOVE, MOM"

Learn to cross stitch so you can make this sign and give it to them when they leave home. It's likely to take some of them THAT long to learn this essential advise; especially the boys; well, because they're boys.

Beth

Laurie said...

I have some great stories about this topic!! We must talk sometime for they are too lengthy to write here.

Ideals about children. Ah, don't even get me started...


I think that you need one of those automatic flushing toilets like at movie theaters or airports. At least the poo you are speaking of is actually IN the toilet! :)

Patience....

That has to be what God is trying to teach me in the whole bodily elimination arena.

Garratts said...

I am not an older wiser woman. But I am with ya! What is the deal. Bryce never flushes his poop.

I will say Reese does though.

But it disgusts me. especially when I don't discover it for a few days. This happens with the potties upstairs. WHEW!!!

Anonymous said...

OH Jenn...
i love your blogs. I just love them (this is Em). No, I don't have any children. No, I'm not an older or wiser woman. I have no advice for you.

My husband flushes the toilet. I was excited about that because growing up in a big family, even in our adult years, sometimes someone would forget. we never knew who it was, but grown up, old poo is just awful.

I can totally see one your babies throwing a fit at HEB and you saying "who's kid is that??"...oh that makes me laugh. I want to do that...well, not for some times..but someday:)

texasmcvays said...

I've got nothing...but unflushed poop in our potties. I don't know what happens between the excitement they get from flushing the toliet when they are potty training to now. But the thrill is gone and poop is present!
K

Jon, Sally, & Jude said...

I am guilty. I still believe my kids will flush their poo.
I guess I shouldn't hold out hope much longer. ...Especially because Jude is ALREADY enamored with boogers. Such a boy!
Thanks for the heads up. I'll work on that pride thing. I'll try to laugh at it. And pretend that I'm not still holding out for flushed toilets and washed hands!
Sally

sarah said...

This is made me laugh out loud- my roomates looked over at me with a wierd look- then I let her read it to and she cracked up- I guess I have this to look forward to some day :)