Thursday, April 03, 2008
I had many ideas before I had children about what MY children would, and would not do. (For those of you child-less women who are teachers, this list is long, am I right?)
They would not wear ridiculous outfits and mismatched shoes to the grocery store.
They would never throw fits in public.
They would always wash their hands, with soap.
And they would always flush their poop down the toilet.
But as all of us real, live parents know, the long list of things our kids wouldn't do makes us laugh now. It makes us laugh until our sides hurt. It makes us laugh at ourselves, and how prideful we were, and how silly our standards were.
I now don't care what my kids wear to the grocery store.
Many a trip to HEB (or ABC as Justus calls it) has been made in a Batman costume and pink rain boots. I love my kids' creativity!
They do throw embarrassing fits in public, and I've learned to just call out "Who's kid is that?"
But one thing I really WOULD like my kids to do is:
FLUSH THEIR POOP.
Why is this so difficult?
Are they so attached to their poop, they just can't bear to watch it go?
It's not difficult to flush. It's not physically taxing.
I personally, am happy to see it go.
But my kids, not so much.
I know whose poop I'm looking and who to blame because I am so used to seeing all their poo, I know it's personal attributes. It's bad enough I have to see my own poo. Why must I personally know the poop of four other human beings so intimately?
That's really disghusting.
I need a voice that comes on in the bathroom automatically that says "Don't forget to flush your poo!" before a child is allowed to go. The voice just repeats, and the door locks until they do so.
Who will invent this?
With all of the brilliant minds out there, can't we do something useful like this?
I want to see poo-free potties someday, and someday soon!
Will that day ever come?
Older, wiser women, help a mama out!