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Monday, September 21, 2009

A drama-free slumber party...what's that?

We celebrated Emma's birthday with a slumber party.
I approached this idea with great caution. Why?
Because I went to slumber parties. If you did too, you know what I'm talking about.
This is what I know about girls...we're born mean.
Oh, you might think that's an exaggeration, but it's not.
We're born with the tendency toward gossip, forming factions that gang up on someone else, and with the innate ability from the age of three on to merely whisper and giggle with another girl and destroy her in an instant.
Am I right? Can I hear an Amen?
I noticed this when my own daughter started playing with a group of girls at a very young age, and it all came rushing back to me. Oh yeahhhhh, I remember this.
We are horrible, horrible creatures.
They could make a movie called "pre-school mean girls" and it wouldn't be too far off.
Why? Because we're sinners. Plain and simple. We're fallen and born with a sinful nature that is yucky through and through. There's no denying it.
And what is the root of this ugly behavior in girls? Looking back, why did I do what I did?
Putting others down in any form or fashion somehow lifts you up. Whether it's being funny at someone else's expense, or trying to exalt your friendship with one girl over another (also at her expense) so that you feel more popular. Exalting ourselves to make us feel better can look like several things, but it's always destructive.
Are we grown-up girls still capable of this today? Of course. We all have to be aware of this, even as we can disguise this more mature version of ugliness in us still.
We have to work at our friendships making sure we look after others' needs and feelings as best we can, and including others as much as possible.
I have also guarded against this junk with my daughter. I think because she's homeschooled she's slightly ignorant of the enormity of this business.
But I had this very talk with Emma before her party...making sure everyone feels included...no one feels left out...being sure to put others desires above her own...all that good stuff.
I think intentionally teaching our daughters how to be Christ-like friends from a young age will help them resist the temptation to be a "mean girl." And ultimately, their relationship with the Lord gives them the power to overcome sin!
I was so proud of the group of girls we had at our house for this slumber party!
There was no drama, no ugliness, no factions, and no "light as a feather, stiff as a board" (anyone remember that one?).
We had a sweet time of devotional on loving others like Jesus, and I had the privelege of hearing their sweet prayers. What a blessing! I can't wait to watch these sweet girls grow up into Godly, young women who honor the Lord with their lives.
So there WAS pizza, there WAS cake and ice cream, there WAS pin the tail on Emma's horse, there WAS a dance party in our pajamas, there WAS whispering in their beds, but there was NO drama and ugliness, and I was thankful for that!
Anyone, thoughts on how we train our girls to guard against our tendency toward this sin, and encourage them to love like Christ? Older Moms, wisdom to offer?

1 comment:

The Arguellos said...

I love how you're helping form her heart and teaching her right and wrong. It sounds like they had a BLAST! :)