Menu for the week

I make my menu and grocery list on the weekends. That way we get shopping for the week (the one and only trip to the land of HEB) done before the week begins.
I used to shop during the week, but several things had to change when we took on homeschooling. You know, like leaving the house on a school day.
So my big Friday night last night...I watched three Gilmore Girls in a row while I scoured my recipes and made a menu.
Two out of four of these are Southern Living recipes. I swear by them. They're almost garunteed to be good. Once upon a time, when I got magazines and had time to look in them, I got Southern Living, and many of the very best recipes I have are from them. You can also get their recipes off their website for free, I think.
Here it is, for anyone who is interested.
You'll notice that these meals have common ingredients. This is something to keep in mind when saving money at the store. However, the expert on saving money is definitely Kyle McVay. She's the bomb! Check her out. She posts her menu also!
Okay, here goes...what are we eating this week?

Mon.: Easy Honey Mustard Chicken, rice, steamed broccoli with cheese on top.

Honey Mustard Chicken
This recipe calls for chicken breasts, but I like to use tenders instead sometimes because they're kid friendlier and soak up more flavor in recipes like this where the sauce is SO good! I got this recipe from an old church cookbook.

1/4 c margarine, 1/2 c honey, 1/4 c mustard, 1 t curry powder, 1/2 t salt, up to 4 chicken breasts. (If you're making this for a crowd, like me, you might double the sauce.)

Melt margarine in a baking dish. Stir in all the other ingredients. Place chicken in the dish and bake at 375 degrees. If you're using breasts, bake 20 minutes on each side. For tenders, it won't take as long.
Serve over rice.

Tues.: Southwest BLT wraps, chips, and salsa
This is a pretty light and VERY easy recipe from Southern Living. It's Jax's favorite! I make my own salsa when I make this. Once you've made homemade salsa, that jar stuff at the store will make you gag.

Southwest BLT wraps
1/2 c salsa, 1/3 c frozen corn, thawed, four tortillas, a package of turkey bacon, cooked and broken in half, butter lettuce (or whatever kind you want to use),
Avacado Lime Sauce: 1 avacado mashed, 4 t fresh lime juice (3 mini limes), 1/2 c mayo, 1 t chopped fresh cilantro, and salt to taste.

Make your avacado lime sauce. Then stir together salsa and corn. Now top your tortillas with lettuce, corn salsa, bacon, and drizzle with avacado lime sauce. Serve with chips, to dip in either your salsa or avacado lime sauce.

Wed.: Beef and Lime Rice Salad
I know this says Beef, but I usually ignore that and use ground turkey. We think it works for most recipes!

1 lb. ground turkey, 3 c water, 1/2 t salt, 1/2 t cumin, 1 1/2 c long grain rice, 1 t grated lime rind, 1 T fresh lime juice
Suggested Toppings: salsa, shredded cheddar, tortilla chips, sour cream, chopped tomatoes, chopped green onions, avacado slices.

Brown your meat. Bring the water with cumin and salt in it to a boil. Add rice. Cover, reduce heat, for 20-25 min. or until water is absorbed and rice is tender.
Stir in meat, lime rind, and lime juice.
Serve over chips and add toppings.

Thurs.: I'm trying a new recipe for Beef Tips and rice. I've never made this before. I'll let you know how we like it.

Desserts: I have ingredients to make two different desserts this week. I don't know which I'm making. Apple Dumplings, which I got from Leslie Wakefield...at least that will be her name later today! She's marrying Clayton today! Yay!!!
I also have a new recipe for Pound Cake that I got from Ashley Kinnard. She made it for us last week at her house, and it was awesome!!! My daughter actually asked her for the recipe so that we could make it at home. How cute is that?

Apple Dumplings
2 cans of crescent rolls (any recipe with crescent rolls in them is a winner!), 2 large Granny Smith apples, sliced and peeled, 2 c sugar, 2 sticks margarine, 1 t cinnamon, 1 can Mountain Dew

Wrap slices of apple with crescent rolls. Place in a greased baking dish. Melt margarine, sugar, and cinnamon on stove top. Pour mixture over the crescent rolls. Cover with Mountain Dew! (Isn't that crazy?!) Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 min. or until apples are soft. I suggest serving with vanilla ice cream.
This is so good!!!

Ashley's Pound Cake:
1 pkg duncan hines butter recipe cake mix
4 eggs
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c water
1/4 c oil
1 stick melted butter
1 8oz. pkg cream cheese
mix everything together. Grease pan w/ butter & roll sugar around on it. Cook at 350 for 50-60 minutes. If not done at 50 min, turn down to 325.

What's for dinner?

These rolls. All week long.
Several of you asked for my menu again, and I would love to put all the recipes for this week up, but I haven't had time.
But one thing I HAVE to share with you is this recipe for dinner rolls.
They are the best rolls we've ever had. They're very sweet, and we like that around here.
It makes a lot, and the dough lasts me all week. I have shared them with people as well, so if you are just making this for you or a small family and you don't like to share, you might want to half this.
The dough lasts for a week in your refrigerator, and you can roll them out whenever you want to. Remember to let them rise for an hour before you bake them.
I would give credit to the source of this recipe, but I don't know them, sorry!

Perfect dinner rolls
2 pcgs. active dry yeast (this is 4 1/2 t according to my yeast jar)
1 cup warm water
3 cups warm milk
2 cups sugar
1 cup butter flavored Crisco
4 cups flour
+ 4 more cups flour
2 t baking powder
1 t salt
1 t baking soda

Dissolve yeast in warm water in a small bowl until it gets a little foamy.
Put milk, sugar, Crisco, 4 cups of flour, and yeast mixture in your mixer. Beat until smooth. Cover and let it rise in a warm place for 2 hours. (I always let things rise on my oven top with it set on low so it's warm.)
Mix together 4 cups of flour, baking powder, soda, and salt.
Add it to your dough and mix it in thoroughly. THIS IS A SUPER STICKY DOUGH! PREPARE FOR STICKY HANDS!
You can put it in the refrigerator until you're ready. I suggest giving it a little time in the fridge to firm up a bit.
Flour your hands (still so sticky!) and roll them into rolls. Let them rise for 1 more hour! Then bake at 350 for about 12 minutes. Keep an eye on them, until they're a little brown on top.
Enjoy them!

A Blown Opportunity

This is Rusty... I almost never blog, but felt compelled to share what happened at our office yesterday. A 21 year old girl died within a minute of being wheeled in to our front office. Apparently Shawna (not her real name)had been sick for weeks with vomiting after a "night of hard partying" (according to her mom who brought her in), and one urgent care visit did not fix her, so they decided to make an appointment with me first thing in the afternoon. On the way to my office, she started to lose consciousness and was wheeled in to my office (she is a paraplegic from a car wreck when she was a teenager) in and out of it. Kaycee and Gabby immediately saw how bad she looked and called me (as I was literally walking through the back door) and 911. By the time I had walked to the front room she had stopped breathing and lost a pulse and we got her on the floor and began CPR. We did everything right...the paramedics did everything right...the ER doc did everything right... Shawna stilled died a horribly early death.

I have no idea medically why she died. It is possible that she had such messed up sodium and potassium levels from weeks of being sick that she went in to a funny heart rythm... or maybe had a clot in her legs from being stuck in bed sick, that it dislodged to her heart/lungs... We may never know. God is sovereign and knows the numbers of our days and there is nothing modern medicine can do to thwart that.

Ps 39:4-5

4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
NIV


But I also can't help but wonder why she died within a minute of arriving in our office. This may be way too focused on me, but I can not help but think God is trying to get my attention on this one, Big Time! If she had passed out a couple of minutes before, she would have just gone to the ER and I probably would have not even known she had died... a few minutes later and maybe we could have seen how sick she was and prevented it from happening. But God's sovereing plan was for her to die right there and then.

There is more to the story here. You see, about a month or two ago, Shawna came and saw me for a yearly check up. She was a student taking classes to go in to law enforcement. She was always very pleasant and fun to be around. I always really enjoyed seeing her on the schedule. Despite being confined to a wheelchair, she was always really upbeat and did not feel sorry for herself etc. etc. The last time I saw her, she was reading her Bible and we were able to have a small conversation about the Lord. I had never brought up any Spiritual issues with her before, but found out that she was not going to church and got the feeling that she was isolated from other believers. I knew that she had the "partying" history as I think that is what led to the car wreck that maade her a paraplegic. I got her number and told her that I would call and take her to church with us sometimes.... BUT NEVER DID. I remember praying for her around that time and was always convicted that the Bacak clan needs to get her plugged in to our church....BUT NEVER DID.

Now I know that it was clearly Shawna's time to die... and I can not assume that if I had really plugged her in to a church that she would not have potentially partied herself to death (and I don't really even know if that had anything to do with her death medically yet). But as I was giving her mouth to mouth waiting on the paramedics, I couldn't help but think...I NEVER DID! God gave me an opportunity and calling to love on this really bright, funny young woman, above and beyond just my call of encountering her in my office. But I didn't do it! I never called... I was too busy...Did we have room for her in the van?...I had to teach Living By the Book class before church and it would have been really difficult to have picked her up across town...The excuses piled up and eventually I forgot about her. Obviously convicting - How about instead of teaching Living By The Book, I had actually lived by the Book and taken care of one of the least of these.

God rattled my cage yesterday! How many opportunities do we have around us to really love on and impact people's lives? Are we taking them... or are we too busy? Are we too focused on ourselves to even notice the dying and hurting and LOST all around us. Yes, Shawna was reading her Bible that day. But do I really know if she had a saving relationship with the Lord? Do I really know if she had surrendered her life to Him as Lord and Saviour, or was she just searching and hoping that someone would notice? Life is short! Really short. Opportunities abound for us to show Jesus to others...but will we do it? We sang a song at church this weekend, "Rescue the perishing" that is all about truly caring for the lost and dying. The question it keeps asking is "Do we really care? When will we care?" The answer is "church open your eyes once more and see what Christ died for!" Eph 5:15-16

15 Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity
NIV

2 Tim 4:1-2
4:1 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction.
NIV

Today, I pray that I make the most of the opportunities the Lord lays out for me.

15 Years Ago Today- I Had Brain Surgery!

Yep. It's true. Surgeons sucked a tumor out of my brain on this very day, July 14, 1993.
For those of you who didn't know this about me, I had a tumor on my pituitary gland that was being quite a bother.
So after my Senior year of high school, while other kids were having summer jobs as lifeguards and youth interns, I was having brain surgery.
What a life-changing experience it was!!! (I think my Mom will agree with that.)
I remember how terrified I felt.
I was sort-of brave while they prep-ed me, put my IV in, had me sign all the papers that said if I died my family wouldn't sue them, etc.
But when they wheeled me into this room full of patients in Hermann Hospital, all lying on those wheely-stretchers, all waiting for their surgery, quietly, eerily...I lost it. I had just turned eighteen years old, but I started bawling like a baby for my Mama!
They took pity on me and went and retrieved her for me. I got a few more minutes with her.
They basically took apart my face to get to my pituitary gland (sort of in the center of your head), and didn't shave any of my hair. That was a relief!
Until I saw my face for the first time in Neuro-ICU when my bandage fell off.
I looked just like that Planet of the Apes show! Seriously! I started crying so hard, I almost busted all the stitches in my face. (I was 18! Of course I was vain!) I didn't find my teeth for weeks. The swelling was unbelievable.
I sort of looked normal by the time I left for Baylor six weeks after that. But only sort of. My upper lip was paralyzed for almost a year.
No cancerous material was found, so no further treatment was necessary.
I went about my life, tumor free from that day on.
It was a recovery I'll never forget.
I've never wanted to be with my Mom more! (A feeling re-visited in part when I had a baby.)
I learned to depend on the Lord in a beautiful way!
I had to trust him with my life, for real! He, of course, was good to me, and received the glory.
This will always be a pause and take notice day for me, and maybe even my family.
Let us never forget what God has done for us!

Communication

Something that has been made clear to my recently is how mucho importante communication is in a home.
I feel like teaching my kids to really communicate with one another is on the top of my list right now. So much of conflict resolution depends on communication. We teach about communication in Countdown with our engaged couples, and have had countless marathon conversations at our table about how a couple communicates (or doesn't communicate.) They develop these patterns within their home.
I encounter the same problems in dealing with college girls and their roommate issues. Every single time a girl comes to me with a roommate problem, it boils down to COMMUNICATION (or lack thereof.) It's caused me to look back and realize what a lousy communicator I was with my college roommates. It's always easier to gossip about a roommate than pray for them and confront them in love, right?
It may be possible that many of us are grown, mature people, walking around, with disabled communication abilities. We could draw disability for it, I think, because people draw disability for some pretty bogus stuff (they come into my husband's office asking him to sign the papers, so they can get disability for like, color blindness.)
Anyway, as I teach my children to love each other, build each other up, encourage each other, navigate their way through daily conflicts, and most importantly share their faith, they need to know how to articulate these things.
How many of us would say: We know about God, we walk with God, we have a grasp on how we're saved, but we don't know how to articulate that well when the time comes.
COMMUNICATION!
I feel like I am equipping (or not equipping) my children for life, healthy relationships, strong marriages, and most importantly, being communicators of the Gospel when teaching them about communication on a daily basis.
I have two kids who are speech delayed. If you've read this blog for long, you know this about Justus. Sign Language was his first language, and about a year ago, he could barely put two words together. Now, he can be a faucet of words that won't stop flowing. Most we can understand, many we struggle to. But Praise the Lord, he can talk!
However, because his speech was so late in coming, and he still struggles to be understood, his first responses ingrained in him so far are still non-verbal.
For instance, if you've been to our house and Justus wants some attention from you, he probably has come up to you and done something physical to get your attention.
Some people are taken by surprise by this with my boys, but non-verbal kids do things a little differently. They are loud, scream a lot (oh, how we're working on this with Treston!) and in Justus' case- he pouts! When he couldn't communicate what he wanted, he would get easily frustrated or angry and act out, pout, whine, or give the silent treatment.
His ability to communicate has definitely improved, but words have always been more of an effort for Justus. I'm not as good at mind reading as he'd like me to be. So he is still more inclined to pout. He is disciplined for this, and has always been, but it's a struggle to break this pattern. Rather than communicating what he wants, he will pout.
Sometimes, as grown-ups, we're not much different.
We want everyone to read our minds. It takes more of an effort to communicate what we want, what hurts our feelings, and what we actually meant.
I'm still trying to teach my older kids, when a game they're playing, (like chase the girl and tease her relentlessly) is bothering her or hurting her feelings to COMMUNICATE that instead of coming straight to me.
I won't be there forever! I would be disabling them if I refereed every dispute and cleared up every miscommunication between them. I want them to say, without whining or yelling or tattling, "This game is hurting my feelings, Jax." or "I don't like it when you come into the bathroom without knocking" or "When my friends come over, can you stop running through the house naked?" (ha!) Instead of the normal "MOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
Is anyone feeling me?
It's honesty, put gently, not harshly. The Bible says to speak the truth in love. That's our goal.

We also have a strict rule about words in our house. It's Ephesians 4:29.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Boasting is our natural sin tendency. It starts VERY early! Building ourselves up, and tearing others down.
I wish I could say I had mastered this, but Lord help me! I confess this almost daily! So the kids and I have this standard for all of us in this house!
I am training them to build each other up! To have kind words ready on their tongue for their brother or sister. It's going to take a long time. (For me too.) But this is the standard of holiness we will adhere to! Of course we fall short so often, but God is renewing our minds and hearts.
So we're learning around here...learning how to really communicate, in a loving, honest, and encouraging way.
It's a tall order. But thankfully, I don't have to do this in my own power.
And I want to send out grown children who are equipped to communicate effectively, honestly, and promptly in their lives.
Any tips, older, wiser Moms?

A True Wife and the Persecuted Church

I got to reconnect with an old friend this weekend. It was so great! I remembered all the reasons we were friends in the first place, long before we were "grown-ups" and Moms. She and I were friends, dating back to about 1992. We ended up getting married six years later in the same summer, singing in each other's weddings, having our first few babies at the same time, and it seemed our lives were taking the exact same paths. Both of us married believers, Christian leaders, that promised to love us as Christ loved the church, and lead us to Him.
But that's not how it turned out for her. I don't want to tell her whole story. It's not mine to tell. But in short, her marriage deteriorated, she was betrayed in the worst possible way, and she was left to be a single mother in the end.
In talking with her this weekend, she was sharing with me what it was like to be a wife in a hurting, struggling marriage.
She told me that even her ex-husband would attest to the fact that she was the best wife of their entire marriage in the last three years, when it was the hardest.
She fully understood something that I teach semester after semester to college and engaged girls about being a wife...that submitting to, following, and loving our husband is an act of obedience and worship to the Lord, not to our husband.
She loved him purely out of choice, as she put it.
She loved him when she got nothing but hurt in return.
She served him when he was unworthy of her service.
She followed him when his leading was foolish.
I sat there, realizing, this now unmarried woman knows so much more about being a wife than this happily married woman. She has put real feet to what I teach and know to be true about our callings as wives.
I know that loving and following and submitting to Rusty is as unto the Lord. Rusty's not perfect. But I have to admit...he's made it pretty easy for me. I don't know what it's like to love Rusty and not feel loved by him.
He's totally smitten with me for some reason, and always lets me know it.
I don't know what it's like to follow Rusty when he's leading with a disregard for Godly wisdom.
Do I need to say again? He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. Our marriage isn't perfect.
But it's happy. It's healthy. And we strive to honor God in it.
So I have such great respect for the wives I know who are honoring God in this situation.
Would I be the same wife if those were my circumstances? I honestly don't know. I kind of doubt it.
Yet I can't imagine the spiritual growth that took place for her during those years.
I felt like this was such a parallel to being a Christian in America versus living the Christian life under persecution.
I love that our church prays for specific persecuted believers around the world during our prayer hour before services. If you're interested in how to do this, go to www.persecution.com, and hear "the voice of the martyrs." Real people living under horrific persecution, beyond our imagination, today, right now. Beaten, loved ones taken from them, imprisoned (and not in cush American prisons), and even killed. Husbands. Pastors. Mothers. Children. This is so far from our reality, it's hard to imagine.
We've been studying the life of Stephen in Acts at church as well.
Talking about persecution makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it.
It makes me a little fearful. Because we don't even understand what it is here in America. Persecution to us is being made fun of! How ridiculous is that?
The Bible says we WILL endure persecution, and it may very well come looking for us here in America someday.
I'm going to be honest. I'm a wimp. I hope not to be alive in that day.
But we know that persecution grew and fostered incredible growth in the church in Bible times.
We know that persecution is as real as ever in parts of Asia today, and the church is spreading like wildfire. The church doesn't grow in spite of persecution, I think it might grow because of it.
What kind of a REAL Christian would you have to be?
Would I be the same kind of Christian that I am today?
It's so convicting, I don't even know what to do with it.
I pray God would made me faithful in all these regards. Without Him, I can't be.
Thankfully, we're never left to do anything on our own.

Menu for the week

In my last post, my sweet Emily told me I looked like a cute college girl in my apron pic...and then she asked if I would post my menu for the week. Anything she asked after that statement, I would grant her! Or just anything- period! So I've made my menu for this week, and I'm posting it.

Monday: We are eating with the Feldman family! Yay! I am bringing a salad with lots of good vegetables (grape tomatoes, avacado, red bell pepper, Craisins, pine nuts and croutons) and I'm making my homemade dressing. I got this recipe from my sister-in-law, Lisa, and I posted it months ago. Check it out! Also, my goal is to make homemade rolls to bring with me.

Tuesday: White Chicken Chili. This stuff is heavenly!
2 lbs. cooked and shredded chicken, 2 cans Great Northern beans, 2 cans Rotel, 2 T minced garlic, 1 t chili powder, 4 t cumin (it seems like a lot, but trust me!) 1 t oregano, 5 c chicken broth, 3 c Monterey Jack cheese, 1 t salt, 1 t pepper, 1 c fresh chopped cilantro, 1/2 a bag frozen corn, and 1 c sour cream. I put everything except the cheese and sour cream in the Crock Pot for the day. Then about 30 minutes before I serve it, I add those in. I serve over rice, and offer sour cream to top with again. So good! This recipe came from Tamara Wingfield in a cookbook. I just added in the corn. Thanks Tamara!

Wednesday: homemade pizza. I make pizza crust dough in my bread machine, roll it out, and top with whatever we like. Cheese for the kids, veggies for us. Bake it until it's brown and bubbly. My kids love it!

Thursday: Grilled cheese and tomato basil soup! I love this recipe, and I didn't think I liked tomato soup! It's the La Madeline recipe, contributed by Ashley Garratt in a cookbook. So easy...1 stick of butter (that's how every tasty recipe starts, unfortunately), 7 leaves fresh basil (we grow it in our herb garden! Go Rusty!), 4 c tomato juice, 1 big can crushed tomatoes, 1 c heavy cream. Mix together all ingredients in big pot and simmer for 30 minutes.

Friday: Date night!

Saturday: I try to do something in the Crock Pot because it's our church night. I am making BBQ chicken sandwiches. Put Chicken or meat of your choice in the crock pot (slightly browned) and cover it with BBQ sauce of your choice. Heather adds soy sauce and cilantro to hers. Serve on hamburger buns. I like Swiss or Cheddar cheese slices with mine. I'm serving with salad and chips this week. (Left over salad ingredients from earlier in the week.)

That's it! As you can see, just about everything I'm making this week I've accumulated from church type cookbooks. They're the best! I tweak them from time to time, but when you have friends that are good cooks, it helps!
As you can see, we don't eat meat every night, which saves money. The White Chicken Chili will help feed the larger groups we have on Tuesday nights for HOPE group, that usually show-up hungry, although I fear I never will have enough food in our house for college boys! What will I do when I have three teenage boys and a growing girl???
As for shopping, I live by a menu and try to NEVER go back to the store if I don't have to. I avoid HEB during the week like it's the plague.
If y'all have any meals or planning tips to share with our sweet new wives and Moms, bring them on! I always love new recipes too!

*Emma put a recipe she found for us on her blog too! It turned out great, so it's worth sharing!

Emma's educational blog-

Check it out. It's short and sweet (so sweet!) and you might learn something about bats. I just love this girl!!! And she treasures your comments.

How very domestic!

Aprons. Aren't they great? I feel so very domestic when I have one on.
But I've never had a truly cute apron before.
All my precious newlywed girls get them for their weddings and from their registries.
I hosted a shower here for Claire last semester, and a flood of college girls entered my house wearing darling aprons! I was a little outraged...I mean, most of those girls don't even cook yet, and THEY had cute aprons! I spend hours each week in the kitchen, and I didn't have one!
I keep trying to convince each of my engaged girls to put just one thing on their registry for me, but no one's done it yet.
BUT....finally! My sweet Amanda got me a super cute apron!
I think I'm going to wear it everyday. You might see me at church with it on.
It's way cuter than any of my clothes.
Here's a recipe to go with this domestic post. It's a good one that even my kids love!

Mozzarella and Ham Stromboli
To make the dough: If you don't have a bread machine, you can buy a tube of French loaf bread in the section with the biscuits, etc. Use a little flour to unroll it.
If you do have a bread machine, this is so good!
Use the recipe you have for pizza crust dough. Then take the dough out and unroll it onto a cookie sheet into a giant rectangle to fit your pan.

Sprinkle 8 oz. of Mozz. cheese on it
And lay out slices of deli ham
Roll it up from the long side up, jellyroll style.
Pinch the sides to seal, and lay it seam side down.
Then brush 1 T of melted butter on top
Sprinkle grated or shredded Parmesan cheese on top
I also sprinkled a little garlic powder
and snipped our fresh rosemary on top. So good!!!!!
Bake at 350 for about 20-25 min. until a little brown on top.
I serve this with fresh fruit salad.

We had this on Saturday, and it was so good! Adding the fresh rosemary from our herb garden was awesome!
We also made homemade doughnuts on Sunday morning! I often make doughnuts from canned biscuits...you know just poke a hole in them and fry them for a minute in some oil on the stove. But we were out of canned biscuits, so we made a biscuit dough from Bisquick and made them that way. It was so good! (I added sugar to the biscuit dough.) I make a glaze for them with a mixture of powdered sugar and milk.
We had farm fresh eggs with that from our friend, the amazing homemaker herself, Mrs. Kyle McVay! If you want to know about living and shopping frugally and all things homemaker, check out her blogs. She also sews her own cute aprons. Now that's domestic! She came to my house last week for a church gathering and brough me some homemade bread and farm fresh eggs. Even a large duck egg! I ate that one. It was pretty exciting. It was the largest yolk I've ever seen in my life!
Give the stromboli a try, and tell me what you think!

We're getting back together...

LOST and I.
We broke up, about two seasons ago.
And it wasn't a break-up, like "It's not you, it's me."
It wasn't me!
I was tired of being in a relationship with LOST where I was only getting more and more questions and no answers.
They didn't name this show LOST because these people are lost on an island.
That is the word to describe all its viewers. We're the ones who are lost!
I patiently took the questions, for years, and then one day, one episode, I just got fed up.
So we made a clean break.
I knew one day we'd get back together.
Well, our sweet reunion has come.
I can't help it. I love this show.
I showed it who was boss by avoiding it completely for almost 2 years!
The total silent treatment. It was good.
But I'm back, and I'm in!
We're on Season 3, so please don't reveal to us anything we don't know.
All those unusually beautiful people, on one plane, with such interesting lives...
it could happen.
People with accents. I love people with accents. (Rusty does not.)
I'm still lost, but you just can't beat this for TV.
It's good.

Jax's Party slideshow

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Emma's blog

Check out Emma's blog here and learn a little something about cheetahs, her "favorite big cat"!

Prayer and Fasting

2 Chron 7:14-15
14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.

God is teaching me to pray.
To pray more, to pray harder.
To pray in the Spirit, to pray longer.
He's teaching me to rely on prayer, because I can't control or manipulate events or my life or people to work together for His good.
I can only pray.
As I mentioned before, we are planting two new churches from Living Hope.
Rusty and I are apart of the Core Group for the new church in College Station.
This is exciting!
We met together yesterday for a vision sharing time.
Wow! God was there...I felt such unity and excitement among us.
One of the men challenged us with the above verse- to know and meditate on.
So I am.
Because we can't make a move without much prayer.
We are truly powerless to do any good thing without the Lord.
Later on in 2 Chronicles, chapter 20, there is the story of King Jehoshephat.
He was a king that pleased the Lord.
A great army was on its way to attack his kingdom, and immediately, he gathers up all the people, men, women, and children, before the Temple to seek God.
It stood out to me that he says this to God:
2 Chron 20:11-12
12 O our God, won't you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help."
We are powerless.
He had his own army.
He could have gathered them up and had a peprally.
But instead they got on their faces and admitted they were powerless.
We are also powerless.
I'm powerless to be a good Mom today.
I need Him desperately.
We are powerless to start a new church that will reach new people and do a God work without Him...obviously.
But God is our source of ALL power, and because we know Him, He lives in us!!!
The power of the Holy Spirit can raise the dead, and He lives in us.
Isn't it about time we started living and walking in POWER?!
So God's teaching me more of what it means to really pray and expect big things.
Do we fail to pray for miraculous healing? Why?
Because we don't pray believing and in faith.
Finish reading 2 Chron. 20 and see how they prayed believing, and counted wholeheartedly on what God told a man among them He would do.
I don't think I even ask God for big enough things, because my vision is short, my expectations too small sometimes.
I want to learn the power of PRAYER in FAITH!
God is doing good things in and through me when I'm on my face in desperate prayer.
I want more of that.
And I especially want that as we start this new church and seek to find out exactly what new thing God wants to do through us.
If we try to do any of it in our own power and understanding, it will fall flat.
I am aware that God doesn't have to commune with us so intimately in prayer, but He does! Praise God!

Fasting
Can I confess, I like food a lot.
And I have not fasted enough in my life because of that.
God is seriously teaching me the power of fasting and prayer.
God speaks to me my need for Him and prayer, and I hear Him more clearly when I'm fasting.
Why? I don't know.
I know that I need Him more than food, more than air, more than anything!
I am more aware of that when I'm fasting.
All I know is God asks us to do it.
The Word doesn't say "If you fast..." it says "When you fast."
It's an assumed part of our walk.
It truly is powerful.
I don't always fast for an entire day. Sometimes it's just a good portion of the day and I ask the Lord to show me when I'm done and when I can eat.
But even a fast for one meal for more devoted prayer is effective to me.
I don't want to be legalistic about fasting and follow rules for the sake of rules.
But I am hungry for the intimate time of prayer that I have with the Lord when I do it.
It's something I'm slowly getting better at.
When I first started, I constantly thought about hunger.
I feel like it's a discipline we have to learn.
Our Core Group is considering fasting collectively on Fridays so that we can pray earnestly together and seek God's face as one body.
I have no doubt He's going to speak to us through that and honor our desire for deeper prayer time.
Is this harder for a Mom who has to continue to feed children all day and can't go to a prayer room alone while fasting?
YES! But it's still good. He's showing me how to do this.
I want to challenge you, because I have been more challenged, to do this when you feel led to.
Remember, it's not if, but when.
(FYI: If you're pregnant, look into other kinds of "fasts" that may help focus your prayer time. I don't think you should abstain from food while you're pregnant.)

I want my life to be marked by prayer and fasting.
I want my children to grow up knowing the power of it.
I think our lives will be greatly changed by it.
I want to hear God's voice clearly, and see Him move.
I want to be apart of what He's doing, and not miss any of it!
I desperately want to be a woman of prayer.

Jax's unique party invitation

Click here to see Jax's awesome Star Wars party invitation.
The force was with us last night!
I hope to post more pictures of it after we download,
but here is the video invitation we sent out to the
boys he invited.
Can anyone guess the true identity of Darth Vader
in this brilliant short film?
Hint: It's NOT James Earl Jones.

Happy Birthday Jax Vader!

Jax.
How I adore this precious boy!
He lights up our house.
I love the way he talks.
I love how he loves to snuggle with me.
I love the way he prays,
and kisses me goodnight.
I love how he adores his sister,
and when he leads his little brothers.
I love the big missing tooth in front of his mouth,
and his buzzed blonde hair.
I especially love that sweet smile.
He has that smile most of the time.
He's a pretty contented kid.
He dreams about his birthday all year long.
That's not an exaggeration. Seriously.
Tonight, after his big party, we will snuggle in bed together,
and I garuntee you, he'll say "So Mom, what should we do for my
next birthday?" Crack up.
We read Psalm 139 this morning, about how God knit Jax together
in my womb and has planned every single day of his life already!
I told him about how God thinks about him more times in a night than
there are grains of sand on the beach! That's the Bible!
We thanked God this morning for Jax. We thanked him for his health.
They thought Jax might have a heart problem when he was in my womb,
so this day six years ago, there was much rejoicing over his health!
We will continue to thank God for that!
We are thanking God that this year Jax came to know Jesus personally.
He is walking with the Lord and learning how to listen to His voice.
We thanked God for making Jax for His Glory! We are claiming that he
is going to be a mighty warrior for the King someday- starting now!
Then Emma prayed and thanked God for Jax, and no kidding, Jax was
so touched, his eyes teared up! He was wiping his eyes and telling
Emma thank you for praying that!
I am overwhelmingly grateful for June 19th, 2002.
I had an induced labor without an epideural. Quite memorable!
But seeing Jax's face at the end of it was a moment I'll treasure in my
heart always. He was beautiful from moment 1!
And he's been nothing but a blessing ever since.
Happy Birthday Jax! We love you!

Emma's Prayer

Emma has been asking tons of questions about Jesus' return lately.
Yesterday, when the sky got a little dark and a wind was blowing, she came in with the urgent question: "Mom, what's going to happen when Jesus comes back?"
Okay, sure. I'll sum up Revelation in a moment. Oh wait, I don't understand Revelation. That won't work.
So what did we do? We tried to call her Daddy. He didn't answer. (He was in the hospital.)
So we called Pop-Pop. He has a Doctorate in Theology. That will work!
He referred her to Matthew 24. We read it this morning.
This was her precious prayer this morning.

"Jesus, please make us ready for when you come back. And please, please, please come back soon...like maybe later this week."

I love that! There's nothing better than hearing them pray.

Grief

Today, I went to the funeral of little Abigail.
She lived for only 9 days.
Her parents, Paul and Becky, are members of our church.
Our Body has been in shock to this loss.
It kicked us all in the stomach, and we've felt a little sick since we found out.
It was just about a week before that we all received the joyful announcement of her arrival via e-mail.
How could this happen?
As a body, we are learning how to grieve with them.
Rom 12:15
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn .
We mourned together as the Body of Christ today.
Our hearts were collectively broken in one place.
They showed a slideshow of little Abigail and her family.
The beginning showed her nursery, with her name written in wooden letters on her wall, just like many of our children.
Then came the hospital photos, just like all the mothers in the room have, holding a new baby, wearing a hospital gown, tired but beaming, our proudest moment caught on film.
As a mother, I know what it means to endure a long, hard pregnancy, your body swollen with the promise of new life. I know what it's like to feel their every little move inside of you, think about them day and night, and then finally, the most difficult and most magical experience of delivering a baby. There's hardly words for it.
Becky looked beautiful in those picures, holding Abigail.
Paul looked incredibly proud, grasping his tiny swaddled baby girl in his big Dad hands.
And their little Kaylynn...sweet big sister...holding her sister so carefully, her face lit up.
But as the slideshow continued, new pictures came.
There were tear streaked faces. Becky's eyes were swollen. Paul's smile was gone. They held their baby, saying goodbye, church members around them.
I have never had to do this and just feeling their pain today hurt too much. My head wanted to explode as I tried to cry quietly.
We sang songs about our Great God, who knows all things even when we don't understand. We sang about His faithfulness. We can trust Him. We can cling to Him.
We sang about Him coming again "O glorious day!"
I could only think about the fact that this is not our home.
It never will be. Our lives really are fleeting. But our eternity awaits!
Because Paul and Becky know Jesus Christ, without a doubt, they will see Abigail again.
They know she lives. She's already at home.
Praise God that Paul and Becky are so grounded in their love for God! They really and truly know Him and live for Him. They will receive strength, they will have peace, but it won't be their own. I know they'll draw it straight from the source of all strength, joy, and peace.
God is more than able to carry them and hold them through this.
He is near to the broken hearted.
They will hurt, cry, experience deep grief, but they won't do it alone.
Our world is broken.
Sickness and disease will always reign here.
But if we know Him, we'll go home...to a perfect place where we don't endure sickness...where we don't bury baby girls.
Our church wants to rise to the challenge of loving this family the way we should.
I was glad to receive the challenge from others that even if we don't know them very well, we are still their body. We all need to rise up around them, not only in prayer, but by personally being with them.
I have heard from people who have experienced deep loss that we often avoid them after a while. We don't know what to do...what to say.
Once we've brought them a green bean casserole to eat and attended a service and hugged them, we're at a loss as to how to grieve with them.
I feel like I'm apart of a real family in this church. I want to love them as such.
Please pray for Paul, Becky, and Kaylynn.
They will all try to sleep tonight...they'll all have to learn to get through each day and have joy again.
They'll never forget Abigail! None of us will!
Pray that this family feels God's nearness and peace right now.

Happy Father's Day Rusty!

Our Daddy:
Fun Dad
Professional Tickler
Chaser
Pusher of four swings at once
Explorer
Hunter of bugs & frogs
and pacifiers
and lost stuffed animals
Master of teachable moments
Interpreter of scripture on our level
Communicater and Explainer
Knows all things
Fixes all things
Strong
Faithful, Loving Daddy
That's our Dad!

Kung Fu Awesome

I have not blogged in forever. Not because I haven't wanted to.
My blog's been calling my name. There have been many times I have been
on vacation the last few weeks, and I've been blogging in my mind,
hundreds of miles away from my computer.
Instance #1- When I was in Hot Springs Arkansas, at a "swimming hole"
that was adjacent to a trailer park...IN ARKANSAS. The Arkansas stereotypes
were completely fulfilled, and then some, and I was just blogging away in my mind,
sitting on the shore of the lake, filtering cigarette butts out of the sand
for my kids to dig in. Where was my computer then?
There is much to catch up on, and at least two slide shows to make:
1. Camp Ozark
2. Seay Family vacation in Galveston
But tonight, all I am here to tell you is that Kung Fu Panda was awesome.
Jack Black is the best. The absolute funniest guy ever.
My favorite quote of the whole movie was in the first 30 seconds.
"There is no charge for awesomeness...or attractiveness."
It was great. Granted I missed bits and pieces so I could take my three-year-old
out to spank him, and I was tag-teaming with Rusty taking my one-year-old out
who is, for some reason, totally opposed to movies.
But it was great. Worth the dent in your budget to take the kids.
Slide Shows to come...I promise, even though it takes me three weeks to make them.
I will get it done after I catch up on my life, 3,000 e-mails, about 6 loads of
laundry, a white board full of to-dos, etc.
I'm glad to be home!

*Emma started her own blog tonight and she wrote about Kung Fu Panda also. (We haven't ironed out all the kinks yet, but it's a blog in progress.) Check it out and give her a comment! www.emmasblogging.blogspot.com

The Flip Side: Wise Speech

Don't you wish there was an occasional no talking rule.
Like when you get yourself into a situation and you've said something horrible; you could go back, rewind, and somewhere...maybe in your head...a buzzer would go off, and instantly the no talking rule would go into effect. This would prevent us from saying terrible, humiliating, insensitive, or hurtful things.
Unfortunately, this would still not work for me. I know sign language. I would start signing.
The rest of us women, we'd start playing a killer game of charades. Sometimes we just can't seem to stop ourselves.
Proverbs 16:28 says a truly wise person uses few words. Ouch.
But there's good news. Even though there are times we need to stop talking, we also can learn to put on wise speech.
We don't have to become mimes!!! Yay! Those people are so annoying and scary!

Take Off/Put On
When we take something off, we need to put something on to replace it. You will see this pattern in the New Testament a lot now if you look for it. It will say 'stop doing this, and INSTEAD, start doing more of this!' Voila!
This verse illustrates it best, and I'll tell you how we teach it in Her Hands.
Rom 13:12
Get rid of your evil deeds. Shed them like dirty clothes . Clothe yourselves with the armor of right living, as those who live in the light.
Heather always tells the girls, when you take off a sin or sin pattern, your dirty, nasty clothes, you will stand there, naked, cold, unsure of what to do.
You can only stand there like that for so long. So then we just do what we know to do. We put back on the dirty clothes.
In reality, there are beautiful, clean, shining clothes for us to put on in their place. We just have to learn how to do that.

No Running!
We've been hitting the pool hard now that summer has arrived! It's so great!
My kids have to learn the rules of the pool though.
Rule #1 for the public pool. No running.
I realized in the last few weeks, when I tell my 1 and 3 year old "No Running!" They don't really get it.
Kids run wherever they go. They run to their room. They run to the bathroom.
This is their regular form of travel. To get from point A to B, they run.
I don't think they even realize they do it. So when I'm telling my energetic boys "No Running!" they look at me like "How do you expect me to get there?"
So I've started telling them "Walk Slowly!" And I'm trying to practice walking slowly with them at the pool. Treston hasn't quite caught on yet, but by August I'm certain he will.
Instead of yelling out to them what not to do and explaining the dangers of running while slippery wet(completely lost on them, of course) I'm telling them what TO do.
I think that computes in their brains a little better.
We know what NOT to do, but what do we do?

Why are we doing this in the first place?
Ps 15:1-3
Who may worship in your sanctuary, LORD?
Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
2 Those who lead blameless lives
and do what is right,
speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
3 Those who refuse to slander others
or harm their neighbors
or speak evil of their friends.

Are we doing this so that we can eliminate those embarrassing moments when we say moronic things? Or to make ourselves better Christians?
No. We want to walk more intimately with the Father.
I want to enter His presence daily and worship in intimacy with Him.
When habitual sin is stuck on me, I feel distant from Him.
I want to walk in holiness.
In the Old Testament, when someone entered the Temple's sanctuary unpure,
they were killed on the spot! (Numbers 18:7)
We need to confess this sin to God, and let His Spirit do it's powerful work in us to change us and make us look more like Him!
I want to speak the truth in love, like this verse says, refusing to slander others, harm them, or speak evil of them.
I want to be what Ephesians 4:29 tells us to be, building others up according to their needs with my words, always encouraging them.
Do you know anyone like this?
I can think of a few people, and they've always amazed me.
But we do this not to be admired by others, but out of REVERENCE for Christ.

The Search for Wisdom
We want wise speech, so where do we start?
There's so many good verses, not to mention the book of Proverbs as a whole.
I'll give a few of these to get us started.
Reverence for the Lord is the fountain of true wisdom. The rewards of wisdom come to all who obey him. Psalm 111:10
Reverence could be defined as a feeling of profound awe and respect because of God's holiness. God arouses a feeling of reverence in those who worship and serve Him!
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2
Pride is the enemy of wisdom!!!
Job talks about the value of wisdom in Job 28:12-28 "...The fear of the Lord, that is wisdom. And to shun evil is understanding."
The fear of the Lord is mentioned in conjunction with wisdom over and over and over.
Read Proverbs 2:1-11 in how to attain wisdom.
So we've got a jumping off point, and as always, int points to our hearts, not our actions.
-Reverence
-Humility
-Fear of the Lord
Prov 28:26

26 Trusting oneself is foolish, but those who walk in wisdom are safe.
Sometimes I just need God to save me from my own, man-made, worldly wisdom.
It's not wisdom at all unless it comes from the Lord.
It is amazing to me to read the Word and realize His wisdom is so freely given to us!
1 Cor. 2 talks about God's secret wisdom, that once was hidden, but is not revealed to us by his Spirit.
True wisdom comes from God's Spirit! Time and age won't garuntee it. But we can have the mind of Christ, as talked about in 1 Cor. 2!
And I just LOVE Ephesians 1!
Eph 1:6-8
7 He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.
I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

And Colossians 2...
Col 2:2-3
2 My goal is that they will be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have full confidence because they have complete understanding of God's secret plan, which is Christ himself. 3 In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. NLT
ALL the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found in Him!

As always, James says it plainly.
James 1:5
5 If you need wisdom — if you want to know what God wants you to do — ask him, and he will gladly tell you.

James 3:17
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere.

I could go on, because there's so much good stuff to tell us what wisdom is.
I want to put on wisdom, in my heart, searching for it desperately at all times, so THAT is what comes out of my mouth.
I want to eliminate my idle words.
I'm not going to lie. I feel incredibly distant from that goal.
But God promises to grant us wisdom, and understand, if we will ask Him for it.
I'm asking.

The Words of My Mouth

In my "Cleaning House" post, I mentioned that I still needed to grow in the area of glorifying God with my speech, so JUST IN CASE anyone else needs this as well, I'm going to write my study on this here on the blog.
This is all directed to me! God has done great things in my life in this area in the past, but I need to keep growing! I want him to keep changing me!
A verse we quote daily in our house is Ephesians 4:29.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Is this convicting for anyone else? Everything I say...EVERYTHING...should benefit those who listen. It should build others up. I say this to my kids constantly, but it needs to be the rule for me as well. Our words should build each other up. Does that mean we never say the hard things? No! Speaking truth in love can certainly build someone up. Giving them truth from the Word when needed can build them up. But we should be fortifying others with our speech.
Let me hit you with another whammy!

Ps 19:14
4 May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

Anyone wish it just said words there?
Even if we could rein in our tongues...that's not enough! We need to cleanse our thoughts. Jesus came to tell us actions are not enough. Our hearts are what matters.
If we commit adultery in our heart, we have committed adultery. If we hate our brother, we are guilty of murder in our heart. (Matt. 5)
So what we think and allow ourselves to meditate on is EQUALLY important.

Need a filter?
I used to think I needed a filter. You know, something would come out of my mouth that, at some point, I wish hadn't (this used to happen to me A LOT!) and I would literally say "If only I had a filter between my brain and my mouth."
I could give you at least 5 humiliating stories off the top of my head of me saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. They would amuse you, but it was not a good thing.
If only I'd filtered that first! If I could have purchased one on the internet, I would have payed good money for it.
When I said I needed a filter, what I meant was, it was okay to think those things, as long as I didn't say them outloud. Or if I said them outloud, I should have just said them to someone else that I trusted with my malicious talk.
I was wrong.
In general, we women talk too much. I've heard it said that we say like 10,000 words a day while men say like 4,000. I believe it.
We like to talk. But this gets us in trouble. Our sinful inclination is often gossip and speech that does NOT build up and fortify.
Where does this come from?
Our heart.
People know us from our words. We represent Christ with every word that comes out of our mouth.
I can't get this right without asking him to purify my HEART.
Ugly words come from ugliness in our heart.
Instead of filtering the impurities from what I say, I need to filter them from my heart.
Matt 15:18-20
18 But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. 19 For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.

Luke 6:45
45 A good person produces good deeds from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil deeds from an evil heart. Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.

This is pretty plain, isn't it? Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.
In Matthew 15, he jumps from evil words and thoughts to murder, adultery, sexual immorality, and theft! Whoa! We were just talking about unholy thoughts! What happenned? All of these sins are born in our thoughts. They can start with a seed of impure thoughts, and they grow and flourish, take root in us, and become more than we ever thought they would.
We must examine our hearts!!!

What's the root?
Nothing comes out of our mouths that hasn't already been meditated on in our minds.
We've said it in our inner monologue.
What are we allowing ourselves to meditate on?
Do we allow ourselves to harbor anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness, brewing on it until we erupt?

Eph 4:31-32
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

What's the root sin?
So often for me it's pride. That's at the root of most of my sin.
Sometimes it is just self-satisfying to say and think things. It's gratifying to my self-absorbed way of thinking. I can make myself look good and others look bad.
I can feel a little justified when I've been wronged.
Sometimes it's really funny! I might want to say it purely for the entertainment value.
But it's not fortifying. It's not building anyone up...except me. (So I think.)
But Jesus was very plain in telling us how seriously God takes this.
Here's another whammy. Brace yourself. It's a big one.

Matt 12:36-37
36 And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every idle word you speak. 37 The words you say now reflect your fate then; either you will be justified by them or you will be condemned."
NLT

Idle words. I think I have a lot of those. A high percentage of my 10,000 daily, I'm sure.
But how could we be justified or condemned based on our words?
Because they reflect our hearts. What is in our hearts has a direct and swift expressway to our mouths.
Sometimes, there's not much traffic to slow them down.
They're in the HOV lane, flying at high speed, and we allow it.
We've got some construction work to do.

Backdoor slander

Prov 10:11
11 The words of the godly lead to life; evil people cover up their harmful intentions.

WARNING: We are good at finding backwards ways of saying what we want to without it seeming malicious. Wow! We're tricky!
You know, how sometimes "prayer requests" are shared for the purpose of sharing information, not really with the intent of anyone praying about it?
Also, an old church lady way to do this is to start a statement: "Bless her heart..."
You know? We have a way of wrapping harmful speech up in a pretty package and trying to make it seem okay.
I hate that I'm this crafty with my sin! But it's true.
We all do it. We need to recognize sin, even when wrapped up with a bow on it.
What's inside is still ugly.

Take Off/ Put On
Anyone feeling crappy about themselves now?
Don't! There's hope for us all.
God tells us what sin to strip off, but He also tells us what to put on in it's place.
Isn't His Word good?
So as we ask Him to cleanse our thoughts, we first ask the Holy Spirit (if we know Christ, He lives in us!) to help us recognize sinful thoughts. We replace them with the thoughts of the Spirit.
Rom 8:5-7
5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace.

We take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5) We lasso them with a giant rope and throw them in the trash. We discipline our minds as soon as we learn to recognize it.
This takes practice. When I first started doing this, I would start to say things and stop often. I still do.
I don't stutter. That's me hearing the Holy Spirit.
And sometimes I choose to sin and just keep talking or thinking. I'm not done with this yet!
At first, we may just need to learn to be quiet.
I have prayed this verse so often.
Ps 141:3
Take control of what I say, O LORD,
and keep my lips sealed.
We can ask the Holy Spirit to stand guard over our hearts and minds. He will!
The more you do this, the quicker you learn to hear Him tell you to shut it down or shut up.
But we simultaneously learn to put on wise speech.
My next post will be about that.
In Proverbs 31, it says that "when she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instruction."
I want that to me ME!!!!
So that' what I'll go over next.
Comment if God is speaking to you and changing you as well.
Let's encourage each other.

More her birthday

Hey - give her a call at 575-2793 and we will throw a little birthday cake celebration (carrot cake that Jenn loves) at 8 PM Monday night at our house!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENN!!!

Hey everyone - it is Jenn's birthday today (May 30th) - so send her messages and let her know how much you love her. She is "stuck" in Mt. Ida Arkansas at Camp Ozark today... probably not her idea of the perfect birthday, but it shows you how selfless she is for the kids (and me!!) putting their fun over her birthday. We'll try to get her to climb "THE WALL" here today if it is open and I'll post pics - as she is like an American Gladiator up that thing.
Happy Birthday Jenn and Mommy! We love you so much!!
Rusty and the Oompa Loompas

Hot Pocket

Erin, this is per our conversation the other day about Hot Pockets.
This is stinkin' hilarious.
Every Christmas when we go home for the Seay family gathering, my brothers' find these things on the computer to entertain us, and we all laugh until we cry, and then quote it for the rest of the week.
You can sing "Hot Pocket" at any time and it will be funny.

Prayer for the Chapman family

Some of you may know already that tragedy has struck the Steven Curtis Chapman Family. They lost their little daughter Maria. I, of course, have never met them in person, but I think maybe my brothers have. Everyone says they are the absolute nicest family, and they are experiencing our worst nightmare as parents. You can read about what happenned here
Here's a cute little video I found of SCC with Maria. I am praying for these people!

Cleaning House

We had an amazing service at Living Hope this weekend!
It is an exciting time in the life of our church because we are expanding LH by planting two new churches in our area. We are asking God to help us reach people in our community we are not yet reaching. The whole body is praying about where they should serve- whether in a Core Group of a new church plant, or to step up to service within our existing body. Rusty and I are so excited because God has given us some direction as to where we should be and a vision for that. We can't wait to see what God is about to do!
But our message this week, as we have been in Acts recently, was on Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. This falls in the midst of the early church seeing AMAZING works of the Holy Spirit among them, people being saved in mass, healings left and right, and great persecution of their leaders for spreading the Gospel. Then comes Acts 5, with husband and wife, Ananias and Sapphira. They were members of the early church who tried to deceive the church leaders about how much money they were giving to the church. The apostles called them out on it immediately, and they dropped dead right there, in front of the whole church, by God's swift judgment. Whoa.
Admittedly, by our pastor and everyone else, this is a difficult passage to understand. But what we took from it was very good.
First, Ananias and Sapphira were misrepresenting their faithfulness.
Why?
Butch gave two likely reasons. PRIDE and LACK OF FEAR OF THE LORD.
Pride. They wanted to look good. Seeking praise from men and not God. I can find Pride at the root of almost all of my sin issues. Fear of the Lord. Not something we talk about a lot.
Butch asked us if we are misrepresenting our faithfulness to others...making it seem as if we are not struggling with sin?
I sure hope not! Without question, I have sin that I'd like to see eradicated in my life, desperately!
Not too long ago, a sweet lady from our church visited my home for a meeting for the first time. It was after my baby was in bed, and the big kids were pretty quiet. (very rare occurence) She said something to me that struck me. She said "you make all of this look effortless."
Effortless???
That was the very last word I would use to describe my life.
She was, of course, paying me a compliment and it was very kind of her.
But I wondered, am I inadvertently putting off a false image?
Not for people who are in my home regularly. They see the real deal up-close, and we're not hiding anything. My HOPE group, my college girls, they know what's going on around here. But for the people who don't know us as well, I want to make it clear.
I have shared some of my sin struggles on this blog, and more personally, I have a husband and friends that I regularly dump my junk on. But I really don't want to make my life look effortless.
It's not a burden. It's not a pain. It's not miserable.
It's joyful. It's my favorite job ever. It's a blessing.
But it certainly takes more effort than I humanly have.
It's hard, and there are days I feel like a big, fat failure.

Cleaning House
Butch encouraged us not to let any seemingly small sin take hold in our life...not to let what others might deem acceptable or common or not a big deal SIN take root.
He asked what sin could we be more guarded against in our own life?
That was an easy answer for me. Taming my tongue.
God had already started speaking to me about it in my prayer walk before church.
God has grown me so much in this area over the last five years! Praise God! But sometimes when that happens, I become satisfied with that growth, and don't ask God to take me the rest of the way to BLAMELESS, HOLY, AS HE IS HOLY. That should be what we are striving for!
Like Paul says here...
Phil 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
NIV
I want to see God continue to clean me out, and for me to press on toward the goal! No one (except some of you crazies out there) likes to clean house. But isn't the result so good? Aren't you so glad you did? I am. And I know whatever God wants to do in us before we join Him in this new work is going to be productive.

Seeing praise from men...this is also what I refer to as the people-pleasing disease. We women are particularly afflicted with it.
There are several good verses to cling to if this is an issue for anyone else.
The end of Romans 2 is talking about a true heart change, not just a following of rules, and it end with:
"Whoever has that kind of change seeks praise from God, not from people." Romans 2:29
Also...
"Obviously, I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to pleae God. If I were still trying to please people I would not be Christ's servant."
Galatians 1:10

I am excited to see God clean house, in my life and other's in our church! I want to see God unleash his power in a new and fresh way on us! He has burdened our hearts for the lost in a deeper way than ever before! We are evaluating everything in our lives, and how to make the Great Commision the driving force behind all of it!
Reading the above pictured book while studying the book of Acts simultaneously has blown my mind! Wow! I beg all of you to read this book by K.P. Yohannan, founder of Gospel for Asia. I see why our church is giving them away for free and has been begging us to read it!
God has been showing me so much in the last month, I don't feel like I can keep up! But it's so good! So stinkin' good!

Witty

My three-year-old, Justus...he's just witty.
Rusty and some of the kids went to Target the other day.
Justus is at that stage where there are letters floating all around him, and he can identify them, but is not sure what they say.
So he said the letters outloud "T-A-R-G-E-T."
Rusty said "What do you think that says, Justus?"
Justus looked up and grinned and said "Wal-Mart?"
He knew he was being funny. He has always been so sharp and witty like that!
He keeps us cracking up around here. Plus his laugh is beyond contagious. He's one of those people who will always laugh, and people will laugh with him.
BUT, speaking of TARGET!!!! We are getting a new one around these parts, and that is really exciting! I don't know if it's a Super Target, but that would just be too much excitement around here.
Hopefully tomorrow, I will have time to sit down and write about all God is doing in me...it's good! Yesterday's service at church...GOOD! I'm almost ready to move it from my heart and brain to my fingers.

A Disturbing Racist Encounter on the Playground

We had an encounter that took us very much by surprise the other day.
Rusty and I took the kids to Chic-Fil-A for lunch.
We sat outside so they could play in the play area.
Emma and Jax...well, if you know them, you know they never meet a stranger.
They routinely see other kids and Emma will say "Hi, my name is Emma. What's your name? You want to be my friend?"
Sometimes they do, and they will start playing together like they've known each other their whole lives.
So Emma and Jax made a quick friend with another little boy. They sat at their own table with him, and chatted it up about how old they all were (he was five, like Jax, which makes them instantly bonded!) and kids' meal toys, where they go to school, etc. This kid was there with his young-looking Grandma, and she didn't seem to mind.
Rusty and I had Justus and Treston at our table with us.
(Let me remind people who don't know us personally, Emma and Jax are white, and Justus and Treston are brown.)
So the kids all ate at super speed and hit the play area again. Justus, Emma, Jax, and their new friend disappeared up in those tubes where we couldn't really see them, while Treston grazed on the rest of everyone's food, of course.
After a while, Emma came down and just stood by our table for a few minutes, looking sad. She finally told us this:
"That little boy said that he doesn't like brown people, and he won't play with Justus."
We were both stunned. We didn't know what to say.
Then the boys came out, and reported that this little boy was pushing Justus out, pulling his hair, and saying racist remarks.
Emma tried to enlighten him with the history of social injustice for black people, back to slave times, and how unfair and wrong that was.
He was unmoved, I think.
Jax put Justus in a brother head-lock hug and told the kid he was his "bestest brother ever."
That was just cute.
But Rusty and I were frozen.
We were both looking at each other, boiling over with anger.
Justus came down with hurt feelings and declared "That boy be mean, but I not be mean." I would think, of all my kids, Justus would dish it back out, but for some reason he did not. He was sad.
Rusty and I were shaking, and speechless for a moment.
We were both surprised at HOW furious we both felt in the moment.
And then we started gathering up our kids and food to leave.
I had to say something to the Grandmother. I could have knocked someone out at that point, I was so upset, but instead, I calmly went to her and explained what her grandson had said and did and told her that was not okay!
She also gathered him up and left immediately, with no apology to Justus.
I guess it's not surprising that we would face this eventually.
Up to this point, the racism we have encountered has been much more subtle, and the worst of it has been ugly stares, or pointed, awkward questions.
But this couldn't have been more overt, and what surprised me the most was that my kids faced it, not us.
I realized how very unprepared we were! My kids did not know how to handle this, or what to say! We hadn't prepared them.
Our emotions took over. We're regular white people- we've never faced overt discrimination. It didn't feel good.
We certainly hadn't prepared Justus. I hope that will not be a day he tucks away in his mind forever.
But it was an opportunity, once we got in the car, to remind all of our kids how lost people think. Their minds are dark and confused without the Lord. We need to pray for people who are raising their kids to be mini-KKK members on the playground.
As much as I wanted Jax to drop-kick that kid, it wasn't his fault.
He had clearly been trained in this way.
It was a sad and yucky feeling. My mothering instinct was to kick some butt, and then wrap my children up and protect them from that junk.
But that's not reality.
I hope we are better prepared- all of us, next time, if there must be a next time. I realize we need to be talking a little more in our family about what others will sometimes see when they look at our family, and how to answer them about what God thinks of people and family.
Lord, help me love redneck racists! I can't do it on my own!

American Gladiator Night is BACK!!!

It's back.
Our kids have had this day marked on their calendar for weeks now.
The much anticipated Gladiator return was tonight!
Luckily, we had the Dutys over for dinner, and we got to introduce them
to the Gladiator fun.
We especially like when they say the ridiculously cheesy, scripted trash talk.
That cracks me up!
Beware: As Emma pointed out to Allen Duty while snuggled up in his lap, the girls do NOT dress modestly.
Other than that, it's been a very clean show.
Emma knows every Gladiator by name. Their favorite is Wolf. He's the creepy old guy.
To conclude Gladiator night, we have to have Daddy Gladiator events. (Missing you guys, Adam and Emily!)
It's good family fun.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY JENN!!!

Just wanted to take the opportunity to say Happy Mother's Day to my blessed wife (and my babies' mama) Jenn.
As Butch preached on a Proverbs 31 woman, the rhetorical question at the beginning: "A wife of noble character, who can find?" - I'll answer that - I have found that woman (or God found her for me - I majorly married up). Seriously - every aspect of Prov 31, Jenn has developed in to. She is the most Godly person I know - truly seeking the Lord in everything, especially in her role as mother and wife. Her growth in the Lord and the Word is phenomenal and humbling to watch. Her encouragement and support of me (who SO needs a helper at all times) is amazing. She is the most incredible mother to the kids. Her ability to nuture and develop our FOUR (YES 4!!!) children is a pleasure to watch. She knows exactly how those little munchkins tick.
She is a phenomenal homeschool teacher. Her ability to teach our kids so much has been mindboggling. Emma and Jax and now Justus have learned to love learning and are little sponges of knowledge because of their mommy's diligence and passion for their education. Most importantly, she makes sure that they are growing first and foremost in their knowledge of the Lord.
She is a picture perfect wife who helps me lead beyond my abilities. She makes our home a pleasure (and with 4 kids that is pretty phenomenal!!!!). We are blessed beyond all measures to have her and we love her so much! Younger women - aspire to be this Godly woman! Young men - find a woman of this caliber (and what are you doing reading my wifes's blog!?) although she is hard to find... wait for her.


Emma says: "She is very beautiful and kind. She is very sweet and we love her very much. SHe is a very good teacher and we do homeschooling. She cooks us our food and takes care of the house. She buys us stuff we need and she helps us with difficult stuff. She is the sweetest mother I could ever have. And she is even better than the best mother."

Jax says: "She is the best mommy in the whole world. She is so beautiful. The bestest mom. She washes my clothes so good. You fold laundry so good. You are very beautiful. You swing us. You take us to sonic! You take us to Chick Fillet."

Justus: "You're so butiful! We love watching a movie. I love mommy."

T-Bear: MAMMAMMAMAAMMAMAMAMAMAMAMAA!!!

WE LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!!!!!!!

Rusty anf the kids.

Modesty

We've been talking about this with the Her Hands girls.
Romans 12 is one of my all-time favorite chapters of the Bible.
It punches me everytime.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good, pleasing, and perfect his will really is."
Romans 12:2
We have definitely been taking all our cues from the world in regards to the way we dress, from our culture, rather than from God, haven't we?
I admit, I have.
I put myself on the throne of my closet, making all clothing decisions based on what made ME look the best, what I enjoyed wearing, sacrificing very little of what I wanted for the sake of modesty.
We girls...we have this burning desire to be beautiful.
I wish it weren't true.
But we have chain-linked our self-image to outward beauty.
The Bible anticipates this, of course.
1 Peter 3:3-5
3 Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
We've all read that. I just don't think we get it yet.
In order to achieve the outward appearance and approval from either the males or females we are dressing for (because we all know girls most often are dressing to impress other girls) we overlook our call to modesty and holiness.
1 Tim 2:9-10
9 And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10 For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.
Is that truly how we're making ourselves attractive?
I realize more and more, in our culture, we deny ourselves very little.
We pretty much do what we want, when we want to, without delay.
We sacrifice virtually nothing in a day for ourselves.
I have found myself standing in my closet, battling over a piece of clothing that I really like, not wanting to sacrifice it for the sake of modesty.
My selfishness makes me sad.
Over the last few years, God has been growing me.
I have been longing to learn what it means to put others' interest above my own. (Phil. 2)
When it comes to modesty, the very first thing we ought to know is that our dress affects men around us.
This is a "duh!" Of course it does! We already know how visual men are.
If you have a husband, you definitely know this! You can't deny it.
We have the power to draw an eye. As a wife, that's marvelous. But it's a power we have abused and used to hurt and cause our brothers to stumble.
"Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not put an obstacle in another Christian's path." Romans 14:13
If you have ever had an honest conversation with Christian brothers about this, you would know this. We have encouraged our Her Hands girls to go to their HOPE groups and ask Godly men about this. We have. It's been good. But they haven't said anything I didn't already know.
Really, we DO know this, all of us. We just don't care very much.
We continue to wear whatever we want, whatever flatters us, whatever makes us feel good, without regard for our weaker brother.
This is clearly a heart issue. It's not a set of rules we must live by, but a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, letting Him lead us in every area of our lives! It's a matter of love, or lack of love, for our brothers in Christ...really caring about the battle they wage against sexual temptation. It's a really small way to die to ourself. Really small! Yet we cling to those tiny sacrifices, as if they were big ones.
I remember, not very long ago, when I had categories in my closet. You know "church clothes", and OTHER, because there were certain things I would wear out, to work-out in, to swim in, whatever, that were NOT what I would wear to church or in front of my pastor. What's up with that? Why is it okay in one situation, and not in another?
I'm still asking the Lord to show me the double standards I have set up. I want to be above reproach in this area. I've not arrived yet. But my heart is much softer and more willing to hear Him on this than it used to be.
So let's be honest. There are some things we Christian women continue to wear that they are saying are a problem.
For the sake of specificity, let's throw out a few.
*Two piece swimsuits
*anything that shows our middle, really.
*anything showing cleavage (for those women who have it!)
*anything showing any "boob skin" as we called it in Her Hands on Sunday night!
*short shorts!
*even some guys say tank tops (especially when bra straps or any part of your bra is showing.)
*Stretch across your boobs shirts. The kind that totally outline and frame your chest. (The ones you think you look really good in.)
These are just a few examples taken directly from coversations with Christian guys recently, who have been vulnerable and honest enough with us to give us specifics.
I appreciate them! I appreciate them helping us attune our ears to conviction, and for helping us "older women" (yes, I live in a town where being 32 is being an older woman. Awesome, hu?) teach the younger women.
As swimsuit season and summer approaches, this is something to consider again.
As I've thrown out a ton of clothes and asked God to lead me, have I felt less attractive? Oddly, no.
Do I feel less fashionable? Really, no. I thought I would. I don't.
Do I feel more comfortable? YES. I also like wearing clothes without the nagging feeling that I'm pushing the limit. I hated that feeling. I still hate it today when I wear something I feel a little strange about, but then wear it anyway. It's not worth it.
So I want to hear from y'all...what are your thoughts, questions, points of discussion here. The last time I opened this up for discussion on my blog, I learned a lot! Let's hear it.

Justus

Justus. What a trip.
We have had three eventful years with him thus far.
I have no doubt life will always be an adventure with Justus.
Some of you remember my older posts about how he off-ed our fish, tried to kill our turtle, painted himself and Treston with nail polish, painted the porch, and flung his poop.
Well, he's grown up a little since then.
He's gained more words, Praise God.
But he's just as mischevious as ever.
Just recently, he spray painted his red tricycle with black spray paint.
He climbed to a top shelf in the garage (while he was supposed to be riding his trike outside on the driveway), pulled out the spray paint, and painted his tricicyle. And a little of our van.
No kidding.
He has Sharpied my computer recently also.
Yep, permanent blue Sharpie all over my computer screen (he traced a word quite well on the screen from his educational web site) and wrote on my keypad.
It eventually came off. Love those magic erasers.
He permanent markered our back porch and wrote Chinese all over our porch swing.
He also recently got my car keys and got in the van, ready for take-off.
(Thank you Jesus for helping me find him first!)
He is definitely the child who is not afraid to drive away in our mini-van. He laughs at childproofing. There is no bottle or container he can't open. And his curiosity drives him. There's nothing he won't try.
He is quick-witted, this little guy, and his laugh is crazy infectious.
(One of my favorite things about him.)
Once Justus started getting some language, we realized this kid was smart.
He has always had an evil genius about him!
But we are positive when he gets "Jesus in his tummy" as he calls it, he will use his powers for good, and not evil!
Is he the most familiar with our spanking spoon? Definitely. Is he challenging? Without a doubt. But is he our joy? YES!
He really is brilliant. We can't take credit for it. He doesn't contain a drop of our DNA. Even if he did, God is the giver of all our gifts, so what credit can we ever take?
He has been ready for school for a while now. He's only three, so I have been focusing on the older kids' school work, but I knew it was time to give him more!
So Erin, my wonderful helper in the mornings and priceless friend, started preparing Pre-K lessons for him. She's a teacher, you know.
We knew he knew his letters and sounds already, and he was already printing many letters.
So we started this past week with regular Pre-K work.
We have been overwhelmed with what he's done in a week!
I'm not kidding when I say HE'S READING.
He started reading words yesterday. I almost thought "Did we imagine this?"
So we just pulled out a word flip book a few moments ago, and had him read words to Rusty and I.
We aren't imagining it. He can read many words.
Simple words, of course, but we are amazed!!!
What will this kid do next to make us stand back with our mouths open?
Who knows?
Praise the Lord, I am seeing more of an awareness of God is his life...more remorse for his sins...more desire to pray.
Someday, he's going to be a great warrior for Christ!
Our little Brown Bear is quick. We're just trying to keep up.