Church Signs

This is one of the books I want to write.
Church Signs.
You know, the ridiculous, "catchy" slogans churches put on their sign for all to see, that is supposed to do...what? Entice people to come on in! Convict them of all their sin as they're driving by?
This has been a soapbox of mine for many years.
When we drive to Arkansas in the summers, they get even more entertaining as we go. The misspellings are more heinous. Sometimes the meaning of the catchy phrases are totally lost on me!
Recently, we saw one in this town that said something like "Beef a lot, and you'll get in a stew."
Really?
Really????
Based on these tiny representations of our churches everywhere, why would anyone ever go to church? If I were lost, and I read one of these signs, I would thank my lucky stars I'm not one of the crazies that park my car there on Sunday morning. If I went there, I would start parking in the back, where no one could see me. How embarrassing is this?
I'm so, so, so glad our church doesn't have a goofy sign. But if we did, isn't scripture enough, if you want to put anything on it at all? Or like my Dad's church, how 'bout just the service times? Something useful. Something non-retarded. If our church had a sign, I know who would be in charge of putting something up there...my friend Heather...and who knows what insane thing she might choose each week. It would be truly entertaining.
This needs to be a new break-out session offered at the Southern Baptist Convention. Stop driving people away from the gospel with your ridiculous, meant-to-be-clever, but totally not, signs.
Someone stop the madness!!!