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Monday, December 01, 2008

The Power of the Stool

Treston and the snow globe

Oh yes, Treston has discovered the power of the stool. Not his poop-stool. That would be gross (and yet wildly funny to my boys!) No, the power of the STEPSTOOL.
A whole new world has opened up.
A world formerly unavailable, unknown.
A superpower among little people.
A world of Sharpies and sugar bowls, and water faucets.
I did something very foolish today.
I took a shower.
I've told y'all before, terrible, terrible things happen when I take a shower.
I know this going in. It's just that the urge to bathe overcomes me and I think maybe this time it will be okay.
It rarely is.
So today I came out of the shower, and I do a mad dash, as always, in a robe, dripping wet, assessing the damage.
All was quiet. That can be good or very bad.
My computer screen was shut. It never is, so I fully expected there to be Sharpie on the screen, but there wasn't. Just many mad boxes telling me not to do what I just did to the computer. If my computer were smarter it would know when my kids touch it and immediately shut down for it's own preservation. That's going to happen in the future. Computers are going to outsmart toddlers. Our kids are going to have it so much better than we do when they're parents! STINK!
I go further into the kitchen. I see Treston...on the stool, where he's been all freakin' day long, and he has a tiny little cup trying to fill it with water at the water spout on the refrigerator.
It looked harmless enough.
But then I discovered he had literally flooded the kitchen holding that cup up to the water spout. He was practically floating on that little stool and there was at least an inch of water around him. I ran for beach towels.
What would I do without beach towels? They are good for so much more than swimming!
I used up five beach towels trying to cover all the water.
I just wanted to take a shower. Is that so wrong?
He has been on the stool all day searching for Sharpies. He didn't want regular markers.
No. Bo-ring. He only wanted Sharpies.
He knows which weapons can do the maximum amount of damage.
I finally found a high place for my Sharpies to hide.
He is totally in love with the pencil sharpener. I let him stand on that stool and sharpen pencils down to their nubby eraser today because it kept him away from toilets.
We're all familiar with kids throwing things in the toilet.
Yesterday he tried to flush an apple.
That doesn't work, by the way.
In the process of Rusty retrieving the apple, he found all kinds of things in there! I didn't even want to know.
He can also get high enough to throw foreign objects into the toaster. Again, let's just add fire to the mix.
The stool also gets him a view of the glass snowglobe with baby Jesus inside.
He loves that thing! (Picture above.) He asks me to turn the music on and shake it, and he says "Jesus."
Then you think "how cute is this kid! I love him so stinkin' much!!!!" God gives you those moments for a reason. They keep a two-year-old alive.
I'm going to miss this someday, right?
(*I wrote this post yesterday. Today he painted our rug with rubber cement. That doesn't come off, FYI.)


Anonymous said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! You have had some serious "trouble makers" in your house! Bless your patience through it all :) And good thing your kids are so stinkin' cute!!!!

Andrea said...

My older sister reminded me often that "this two shall pass". Is it okay if I chuckled? I don't want to take pleasure in your hardship. :)

Yes, you will miss it one day. Just keep track of all these stories. You will also laugh about it all one day too.

Great post and I'm sure encouraging for other moms of young creative geniuses as well.

Anonymous said...

So, when I saw this title in my Google Reader, my first thought was definitely "stool" as in poop. I was really wondering where this was going! Fun times... that kind is a ham.

The Crawfords said...

All I can say is that he sounds like he has followed in his older brother Justus's footsteps well! ;) I could not stop laughing!

The Mosiers said...

All I have to say is good thing he is so stinkin cute!!

Marcus and Meg Asby said...

Hilarious. HILarious. I'm glad you're writing all of these things down.