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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I'm 32...and it feels good

Today is my birthday (May 30th.)
It's also my big brother Brian's birthday- Happy Birthday B!

I did not enjoy my 30th birthday. Besides it coming at a difficult time in my life, it was not exciting to me to enter my 30's. I was quite comfortable in my 20's and really didn't wish to enter a new decade of me. (Or so I thought.) I wanted to be stuck in the 20's. I didn't feel ready for my 30's! I was being rushed, pushed, forced into it. Couldn't we all just wait until we're ready to be 30?
I had decided I was stuck specifically at 25. I think that's a great age. I still don't feel as old as I am. I can't shake the feeling that I just graduated from college. (That was almost 10 years ago.)
There have been many indicators to me that I am old.
-I just said 10 years, like 10 years is nothing. When you're 20 that's half of your life!
-I've had the same make-up bag for 7 years, and I felt like I just got it.
-College kids are starting to look like high school kids.
-The commercials for those cheesy compilation CD's bring back great memories; I replay them over and over on my DVR, incredibly tempted to call that number NOW! (Especially the commercial with the hair bands of the 80's and 90's singing rock ballads. I love that one!)
-I have four kids. That's a reality check.
-The college girls I hang out with have never seen the staple movies of my life, such as "Say Anything", a John Cusak classic. They look at me with blank stares when referencing music, TV, and movies in general.
-Mostly, because I remember when I thought of people who were 32, and they were stinkin' OLD.

At 30, I was a bit uncomfortable, trying to be okay with it. At 31, a tad better.
But today, I feel really good.
I feel very comfortable in my own skin, even if it looks a little older.
I'm so grateful to be who God is making me and molding me to be. I'm so glad to have grown tremendously spiritually in the last five years. I don't ever want to go back.
I have a lot to show for 32! Almost 9 years of marriage. Four incredible kids.
I can only thank God for my life today! Being 32, I have some years to look back on, sharing the greatest mistakes and 'if only I could do that over' moments with my college girls.
I am desperately seeking the wisdom of women older than me on how to be the wife, mother, and woman God is calling me to be today.
I didn't dread this birthday. I have been looking forward to it. It might have taken me two years, but I'm fully embracing my 30's! Contentment, my sisters...it's paramount! God, forgive me for every corner of my life where discontentment is hiding.

Today has been a great day! My husband...have y'all met him? He's amazing!
He made me my favorite cake. It's the most complicated cake ever to make! I am probably evil for preferring it. It's a carrot cake with a glaze and cream cheese frosting. 3 separate recipes. It's amazing. (Southern Living, of course.) Some of you ate it last year on my birthday.
He and the kids made me a birthday breakfast. Fried eggs and waffles.
I got to go running, and even though it was hot, humid, and disghusting, I enjoyed the time to run and pray, listening to music that draws me into worshiping Him-while sweating.
I had a fantastic birthday lunch at my absolute favorite restaurant in town, Madden's, with some sweet girlfriends.
Becky and the kids made me the sweetest birthday cards I've ever received!
And tonight I have a hot date. Rusty is taking me to Messina Hoff! We've never been there, in all the four years we've lived here. I'm super excited!
Also, we're going to get a new vacuum cleaner, which makes me immensely happy, considering the dog is shedding and my vacuums is sucking nothing but air.
Best of all, everytime my husband addresses me, including waking me up this morning, he calls me birthday girl. I love this man.
I'm 32, and it's a great day.


Jennifer Bacak said...

Rusty Says:
And she is so stinking hot at 32!

lisasmith said...

Happy Birthday, Jenn! I stopped by to wish you a happy day and realized that I OWN the Hair Ballads...so if you ever want to laugh while running let me know.

I love that I can embrace where I am at in life not wanting to trade one iota of gravity's effects for what God's done in my life and where I am now (even though I am finding myself closer to 40 than 30 these days :0 ).

Thanks for sharing your life.

Jennifer Bacak said...

Lisa, seriously, can I borrow that CD? I would LOVE it!

Nicole said...

Happy Happy Bday!!!!!!
So I guess Rusty was picking up all those ingredients for your complicated bday cake of yours last night! I am with you at 32. it isnt so bad. I however, have felt much older this year. I am hoping to cruise until 40 & not feel any older for awhile!!

Jennifer Bacak said...

Nicole, it was great to run into you! Hey, I can't find your blog site in my e-mail...can you post it here or e-mail me with it? I want to catch up on your blog too. I know it's not blogger, so I can't seem to find it.
Don't mention 40. I'm not ready for that.

Kathryn, Michael & Alex said...

Happy Birthday Jenn.

I love my thirties now that I am almost done with them!!

I love wisdom and contentment.

I am glad that you had a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

Yea for birthdays!!! They are so fun, and I am glad so many people could make it so special for you :)You are the woman I am always aspiring to be, so thank you for that!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!!!

bekah said...

Happy Birthday Jenn!!

you are amazing!