I want to continue the discussion about sexual purity and dating. It's been so good and thought provoking!
I want to discuss this idea of being physically involved while dating.
I said in a previous post that I want to throw up when I think about the fact that I kissed or held hands with any other boy besides Rusty. I truly mean that. I had no right to be that close to someone else's husband, nor did anyone have the right to my husband.
Where did we get this idea that we can try people out physically for a while?
From the Bible...hold on let me get my Bible...NO!
In fact, everything I can possibly find in the Bible pertaining this subject says RUN, FLEE, HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH sexual temptation. Don't flirt with it, don't see how close you can get to sex, get yourself going like a freight train and then try to slam on the brakes. (How's that for an analogy?)
2 Timothy 2:22 says "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust."
1 Cor. 6:18 says "Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does."
We can not be running away, and flirting with it at the same time. Girls, I think all married women can testify for you that we now understand that the process of sexual stimulation was not meant to be stopped. (I told you that we were going to have to get specific and embarrassing if we were going to talk about this!)
And a valid point was brought up, that we don't want to instill in our kids the idea that sex and sexual feelings are bad. They are not! They are meant for something so beautiful, sweet, and holy! But when we allow dating relationships where physical involvement occurs, they will soon learn that everytime they engage physically, they get into trouble, they sin, in thought and in actions, and they feel they are slaves to those feelings. They toe "the line" and that line starts moving, inch by inch, and the failure rate is through the roof! THEN, those sexual feelings are bad, and they are the enemy. That is NOT what I want my kids to understand about sexuality. I want them to know that all of it, ALL OF IT, is meant for their joy and intimacy in marriage, and it is a gift from our Creator. I feel like so much of the struggles with sex in the early years of marriage that I am counseling girls through is trying to de-program their minds from this mentality.
This idea that there is a "line" that we must tip-toe up to, try desperately not to cross, so often in vain, is not of God. He never said we ought to toe the line. He said RUN. Remember? He said FLEE! Right?
So where did we get this idea?
From the world.
It's SO from the world, and we have been trying to stuff the world's ideas about dating into the Bible and make it fit, and it doesn't.
If you are in college, and you are physically involved with someone, I beg you to stop. Nothing, and I seriously mean nothing, good will come from it. If you have children and you are letting them have boyfriends/ girlfriends and they spend alone time together, I beg you to stop them!
I am not referring to sex. I'm referring to all of it. I know you might think this is crazy, but I am pretty sure it's just crazy by the world's standards, not by God's standards.
Whose standards are we going to live by?
Who is ever going to meet their mate, tell them that they've never made out with anyone, and they won't make out with them, come to their wedding day and night with 0 experience and feel bad about it? If by God's grace, that could happen with my children, PRAISE THE LORD! I can't imagine how joyful that day would be! And if that doesn't happen, Rusty and I better know for certain that we did everything we were supposed to do to guide them in God's perfect way for them. We know it's up to them to follow.
On the other hand, to play with fire and be physically intimate with people who in no way belong to you, so many negative things can come from it, I can make you a list as long as my arm and give you specific names, numbers, and e-mail contacts to prove it.
It's not just my own experience. It's not just my opinion. The longer I work with college girls and engaged couples, the stronger and stronger I feel about this.
Here is a blog with some great discussion on this topic for you to check out if you're interested.