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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Only in a Doctor's House...

Jax is a simple little guy. Save your money at Christmas, because his favorite toys cannot be bought at Toys R Us. Right now, all he wants is a rubber band (for a bow and arrow), a straw (for a sword), and a pap smear stick.
Yes, you read that correctly.
He doesn't exactly call it that. (There may be a more professional name for it that I'm unaware of.) It looks like a popsicle stick with a bone shape at the end of it, so Jax calls it a bone stick. It makes a handy sword as well.
Am I raising him to sell weapons on the black market, or what? I have no idea. There is something very strange packed into the DNA of a boy.
Anyway, I knew that he was bringing them home from the office when we went to visit Daddy, but I didn't know what they were for!?
I asked Rusty to bring him home a bone stick, since that's all he was talking about. He said "You mean the ones for pap smears?" I was a little sicked out, but how would I know what they look like! I'm not down there when it is used to torture me! We don't know what those tools are being used. But I tell you what, they don't look like what you imagine. By the time you can gather your paper gown around you and get vertical, the tools have disappeared. It's really one of the strangest things that happen to us as women.
Of course Rusty wondered if he was going to be an OB someday.
That's also a weird thought. My little boy! I'm much more comfortable with my sweet and totally politically incorrect Indian.

Funny tidbits on the other munchkins:
Jodi, the sweet college girl who is now living with us, came to me the other night and asked me if we were keeping Disney's food in her bathtub. Of course not, I answered. Disney's food and water dish go in that bathroom, but we don't expect Disney to crawl into the bathtub for food, although that would be a cool trick.
She said that the last two nights she found dog food poured into her bathtub. This sweet, childless young woman didn't know what Justus is capable of. She cleaned it up the first night, thinking it a little odd. I'm glad she asked the second night. You never know what Justus is going to do in a split second.
His favorite thing right now is a simple spray bottle. He has literally spent hours entertained on the back porch spraying water on every surface, window, and of course, himself.
I'm serious people. Save your money at Christmas!

Emma, who is learning her vowels, has put a new spin on our "I learned my vowels today" song. When singing it with me, she will yell out "Sing it baby!" or "I'm doing it baby!" It's hysterical, and then we go into our vowel song dance, clapping and going crazy.
Homeschool is a trip.
On a more serious note, Emma took her first Lord's Supper last night at an amazing serving at our church. Emma cannot get enough of the Bible at home. I had already done our Bible Story for the day, and she has been begging me to sit and read more and more stories. I think her main motivation for learning to read right now is to read the Word. It's awesome!

Rusty: He is going to love that I published this story! Last night he was on call. He got hit hard last night, with atleast two admits, and dozens of calls. He uses a flashlight so he can write things down without turning on the light (since the calls don't even wake me up anymore. The life of a doctor's wife.) So he went to grab his huge, mega flashlight in the dark, and instead, grabbed a cup of water, and poured it all over the bed and his crotch region. (Am I allowed to say crotch on my blog?) He slept a lot closer to me last night to avoid the spill.
Just so you know, when you call your doctor in the middle of the night, he could be delirious. Somehow he still makes life or death calls in this state, and hasn't killed anyone yet! He's amazing!


Jon, Sally, & Jude said...

Can I tell you that it's been a long time since I laughed out loud so many times reading ONE blog post!?!?

bone stick? wow.

Who ever said motherhood was boring??

Jon and I have been asking this question lately...when does a boy come to the realization that he wants to be an Ob/Gyn?? Do they leave for college at 18 and say, "Well, Mom and Dad..." or are these the guys that didn't make such good grades in med school??? Really, I want to hear your thoughts.

Oh and we'll try not to hold this story against Rusty as we trust him with our son's manhood in a week or so...

Jennifer Bacak said...

Your son's manhood is in good hands! He likes to call himself a "penile artist." Again, can I say that on my blog? He's good.
As for the OB's, they make darn good money. And they get to deliver babies, which is fun! (But the hours stink. All hours, that is.) So I can see the appeal in being an OB for sure, but a urologist? Or proctologist? For real?

Hendrick Family said...

I love those crazy kids! I will testify to Jax's love of pap smear sticks.

I recently went to the Amazing Doctor Bacak's office for a visit. My appointment was right after lunch. Jenn and the kids had come there to eat with the Amazing Doctor Bacak...or I'm sure they just call him dad or something...but, I was walking down the hall and stepped over one of these things. Rusty picked it up and said..."Sorry, Jax plays with these." I said, "ok" not giving a flip that I had to step over it. Then Rusty told me they are used for pap smears. It was funny.

See? You all should go to this doctor's office. It's so not your normal doctor's office. And come on...who likes to go to normal doctor's offices? No one.

The Garratts said...

Will he take Scott and White Insurance?


Carol Estes said...

This is Jon's mother and No Longer Secret Name Boy Grandmother. My husband and I along with Sally's parents and sister had the privilege of meeting Jax at the delivery waiting room in College Station waiting for "Secret Name Boy" to make his appearance as "No Longer Secret Name Boy." Just as you described, Jax explained his bone stick to all of us. What fun to meet him and then find your blog.